Sexist Jokes

[James89]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

A women gets hit by a bus. Who's fault is it? (two answers)

A) The women's. What was she doing out of the kitchen?
B)The bus. What was the bus doing in the kitchen?

One day a stay at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

Why shouldn't women wear watches?

There's a clock on the stove


Whats the difference between a TV and a woman.

tvs dont belong in the kitchen.

Why do women have short feet?
So they can stand closer to the stove


Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None, it should be opened when she brings it to you

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet

Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?

What does a woman with one leg call herself?

-Ilene

What does a Japanese woman with one leg call herself?

-Irene

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me…”

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%. It’s called a Wedding Cake.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

[Pochitos]

Somebody is gonna get bashed by a women....

[FalconZero]

They were ok, I'd never use them in real life, though.

[Migraine.]

My girlfriend hates me now.

[Mrmakee]

Ah thats too bad to hear migranre. Might send the link to my girlfriend now.

But all those jokes made me laugh nice one!

[Spindrift]

Pretty good jokes, I would never use them when a female was around though. =/

[mark HRR]

Originally Posted by Pochitos

Somebody is gonna get bashed by a women....

I agree on that one. Some were good though.

[Vermillion]

Some were okay others very good.

[Air Head]

Heard them all not found of sexist jokes...

[Velocity]

One word can describe all of them.


Old.

[Major Isoor]

Gave me a couple of laughs. Although the word "kitchen" has lost meaning to me...

[DarkBlade]

i just laughed at the constant use of the word kitchen
LOL

[Blackheart]

Great Jokes. I'd use them anywhere.

[Angel]

*Girl Alert*

I laughed at a few of them since a couple guys in my family are terribly sexist. Kitchen jokes got old after the first few. I'm sure there's more creative sexist jokes there.

[Monica]

*pokes James89's eyes with a rake* Just kiddin. It's quite funny, actually. I let my bestfriend read this and now I'm giving him the nasty looks