Religious joke/2cows/Blonde Joke/The conductor

[Ralph Nader]

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

__________________________________________________ _______
Two cows in a field, one says "Mooo"

the other says "Bastard, i wanted to say that"
__________________________________________________ _______

Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.

Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

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A man is working on the busses in the US collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman not quite on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he's sent to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well", says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes", answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go then?", the man asks.
"I suppose so", says the executioner, "that's never happened before".
The man leaves and eventually gets a job with another bus company selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair.
The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe it, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair yet again.
The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish?", asks the executioner.
"Well", says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up", says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it", he asked.

”Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor"

[Velocity]

.....BAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW the punch line on the last one.

First one was all right, second one stupid, third one old, fourth one... such a BAD punchline I had to laugh.

[Ralph Nader]

Im actually trying to find the lamest jokes that is so bad that its funny. Basically trying to find the corniest jokes to make people laugh.

[Migraine.]

You got the last joke soooooo wrong. It's supposed to be a band conductor.

And it is quite possibly the most pre-historic joke i have heard in this forum. Usually, people go for at least 20 bananas first.

BOOOOOO.

[Vermillion]

1. Yeah was lame.

2. That was lame to the point of laughter.

3. See above

4. Lol at the punch line

Im actually trying to find the lamest jokes that is so bad that its funny. Basically trying to find the corniest jokes to make people laugh.

Your doing a good job of it in my book.

[Freakout]

Saving grace was the last one.

[Duke Nukem]

I liked the first one, but it would be better if they heard the driver screaming instead of a big splash. That kind of ruined the punch line.

[FalconZero]

1.
2. So stupid I had to laugh.
3. *slaps forehead*
4. Had to laugh at the punchline. Horrible!

[bman3k]

They were all old and crappy except for the last one

[Pochitos]

I wasn't expecting that ending on the last joke.

The first one was fair, but the second was the dumbest thing ever, so I just had to laugh.

The third was also pretty stupid too. I thought blondes were supposed to be the dumbest things on earth.

[Ralph Nader]

Thanks you guys. . . I really liked the last joke too.

[Migraine.]

Are you all being serious? that last one is one of the oldest jokes on earth!

[Pochitos]

True

[Major Isoor]

1- in a kind of way

2- Pretty stupid, but funny never the less

3-

4- lol, good one!

[Shoryuken]

1. 5/10
2. 7/10
3. Predictable
4. 8/10.