some pick up lines(some dirty)

[CDink]

Are you a sargeant? Cause you make my privates stand up straight.

I know I'm not Fred Flinestone, but I can make your Bed Rock

You know what would look really good on you?
No, what?
Me.

Hey babe, nice legs....what time do they open?

You have 206 bones right now, Want to have 207 tonight ?

I wouldn't be surprised if you were Cambell's soup, Cause you are mmm mmm good!

I may not be the best looking here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Are you wearing space pants, 'cause your butt is out of this world!

Am I cute, or do you need another drink?

Wanna come upp for some sex and pizza?
... Whats the matter, you dont like pizza?

Hey baby, you must be a sweater 'cos you got me feeling warm all over

Check the girls clothing tag then say --> "Thats what I thought...made in heaven"

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children! For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.


There, i thought afew were pretty funny, a few so so, but not everyone will have the same taste, i just hadn't seen any pick up lines jokes, and i figured it wouldn't hurt to add some

[Kat]

I liked this one the best:
Wanna come upp for some sex and pizza?
... Whats the matter, you dont like pizza?

[Angel]

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

My favorite out of all of them. Very sneaky, but very funny.

[bman3k]

I liked the one Angel did as well, also the long one was quite humorus . Good work on those

[Vermillion]

They were good.

I know I'm not Fred Flinestone, but I can make your Bed Rock

That was my favourite.

[FalconZero]

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

This is my favorite, since I know I'd use it.

[CDink]

haha, a couple of those i used on a few of my friends today for a good laugh..especially the sex and pizza one.

[Freakout]

I had only heard the second half of the pizza one before. Thank you for finally solving it for me!

Personally I kinda liked the last one the best, as long and drawn out as it is.

[CDink]

haha, the last one had me cracking up because all the others are short, and then you get that novel.

btw, how did you only hear half and it still make sense?

[Freakout]

Originally Posted by CDink

btw, how did you only hear half and it still make sense?

It didn't. I was trying to figure out what the hell he meant the whole time.

[CDink]

ohhhh, haha. Well im glad i could help you out.

[Velocity]

Originally Posted by CDink

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children! For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

Those three made the entire thread worth reading. Especially the first one - THAT'S AWESOME. I'd end up using it.

[deanlad]

the sex and pizza is great

[Shoryuken]

You forgot this one:

"I have money".

Aside from that, I lol'd. Pizza one is epic.

[Pochitos]

Originally Posted by CDink

I may not be the best looking here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?

I think a girl might fall with these 2.