Bearhunting and Cookies

**Air Head** · December 19th, 2007, 03:10 AM

Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear. The black bear says "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or Two, we have sex." Bill bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.

Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him. The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, "Either I maul you to death or we have sex." Bill bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged.

Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear, and the polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"

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One day little Johnny comes upon his grandfather enjoying a beer. Johnny asks, "Granpa, can I have some of your beer?" To which his grandfather replies, "Well that all depends, can your dick touch your *******?" Slightly shocked, Johnny says, "No, grandpa" "Then you're not man enough" his grandfather replies promptly.

The next day Johnny sees his Grandfather smoking a cigar. He asks him, "Grandpa, may I smoke a cigar?" Again his grandfather replies "Can your dick touch your assh*le?" and, again, Johnny says no.

The third day Johnny's grandfather sees little Johnny eating some fresh baked cookies. He says, "Hey there Johnny, can you give me a cookie?"

Johnny asks, "I don't know grandpa, can your dick touch your assh*le?"

His grandfather proudly replies, "Why yes, yes it can"

Johnny says, "Well then go f*ck yourself, because grandma made these cookies for me"

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