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Old December 9th, 2007, 01:27 AM   #1: [T] [P]
joey_zmk
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Magikarp
Judgement Day
A Chicago area divorce lawyer died and found his way to the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The lawyer thought for a moment and replied, “Last month I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was in fact true.

Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but that in itself just isn’t enough to get you into Heaven.” The lawyer quickly retaliated, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Four years ago I gave another homeless person a quarter.” Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this too had been verified.

Saint Peter, unsure of himself, whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?” Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,

“Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”
Quote
 
 

 
Old December 9th, 2007, 01:38 AM   #2: [T] [P]
Typhon
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HA!

7/10
Quote
  But when Zeus had driven the Titans from heaven,
mother Earth bare her youngest child Typhoeus of the love of
Tartarus, by the aid of golden Aphrodite. —Hesiod, Theogony 820-822. 		 

 
Old December 9th, 2007, 07:23 AM   #3: [T] [P]
Mrmakee
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Zone Cleared
Haha! That was a good one 7/10

 
Old December 9th, 2007, 02:34 PM   #4: [T] [P]
Vermillion
Will show you his if you show him yours.
 
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Guitar Hero
It was okay. 4/10

 
Old December 9th, 2007, 03:10 PM   #5: [T] [P]
Panzer
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Press Start
same with vermillion
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[Email addresses count as outside links, therefore yours is being removed. This is your third offense in a year, so it's gone for just that long. - Cole]
  

 
Old December 9th, 2007, 07:44 PM   #6: [T] [P]
Tubby_23
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Zone Cleared
4.5/ 10 not that great.
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Everton Last Result

Everton 2 vs. West Ham 1

Louis Saha 27' - Tony Hibbert o.g. 65'

Dan Gosling 64'-
  

 
Old December 9th, 2007, 08:37 PM   #7: [T] [P]
Chooch-182
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Grunt
wait i dont get the joke. does the guy have Jesus in his heart? cause if he did he would've gotten into heaven.
Quote
  You are young and so am I
And, this is wrong but who am I to judge
I feel like heaven when we touch
I guess to me this is enough

I'm smarter than the average Coleman. Remember that.
-jackenape 		 

 
Old December 9th, 2007, 10:07 PM   #8: [T] [P]
Major Isoor
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Guitar Hero
Hehe pretty good, 5/10.

 
Old December 10th, 2007, 06:21 PM   #9: [T] [P]
Azthris
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+2 vs. Chaotic Evil
I didn't like it. 0/10

 
Old December 10th, 2007, 10:28 PM   #10: [T] [P]
Freakout
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Horadric Cube
Meh.

Quote
 
 

 
Old December 11th, 2007, 12:24 AM   #11: [T] [P]
Shoryuken
→↓↘+P
 
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+2 vs. Chaotic Evil
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chooch-182
wait i dont get the joke. does the guy have Jesus in his heart? cause if he did he would've gotten into heaven.
What are you talking about?

Also, 6/10.
Quote
 

☭Click☭
 

 
Old December 12th, 2007, 11:32 AM   #12: [T] [P]
modi25
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Press Start
i expected the punchline to be better 3/10

 
Old December 17th, 2007, 12:37 AM   #13: [T] [P]
TravisTouchdown
I Have Been Shown Who Is The Boss!
 
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+2 vs. Chaotic Evil
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chooch-182
wait i dont get the joke. does the guy have Jesus in his heart? cause if he did he would've gotten into heaven.

Yes that had me quite confused as well.

 
Old December 17th, 2007, 01:08 PM   #14: [T] [P]
Mike!
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Hero of Kvatch
Not funny. Sorry.

0/10.
Quote
 
A man chooses. A slave obeys.

There's a bump in the basement. There's a knocking on the wall. In the pumping of the pistons, I swear I heard your call. There's a bump in the basement. There's a hole in the floor. There's a guard in the garden, locking up the door. There's a rumble in the floorboards. No shutting out the sound. And the workers are below me, digging underground. Feel the building all around me like a wrap of armored skin. But the more we are protected... the more we're trapped within.

...Níl gach uile fhánaí caillte...
  

 
Old December 18th, 2007, 07:03 AM   #15: [T] [P]
Conscience
Probably watching Burn Notice
 
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Horadric Cube
Didn't do it for me.

3/10.
Quote
 
ZOIDBERG.
He's been doing this for hours in an attempt to procure some Russian sailor friends. His efforts are in vain.
  

 
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