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Old November 15th, 2007, 05:39 PM   #1: [T] [P]
bobaloochi
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Press Start
Lightbulb Why I Fired My Secratary

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday", and possibly have a present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone, "Happy Birthday". I thought....well, that's marriage for you, but maybe the kids will remember. My kids came down for breakfast and didn't say a word.

So, when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good morning,
Boss, Happy Birthday". It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me". I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go".

We went to lunch. but we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day....we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment".

After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back." "OK", I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes, she came
out carrying a huge birthday cake......followed by my wife, kids and
dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there........

on the couch.......

naked.

 
Old November 15th, 2007, 05:47 PM   #2: [T] [P]
CM Punk
 
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Horadric Cube
Haha, that is definitely one that I have never heard before. 9/10 from me

 
Old November 15th, 2007, 05:48 PM   #3: [T] [P]
Velocity
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Silent Assassin
Heard something similar before... I had an idea as soon as I got past the "kids" part.
 
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

MGTOW
 

 
Old November 15th, 2007, 06:13 PM   #4: [T] [P]
Vermillion
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Guitar Hero
I've heard something similar too but it's still a good one.

 
Old November 15th, 2007, 09:07 PM   #5: [T] [P]
Freakout
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Horadric Cube
I knew exactly which joke it was from the title...

 
 

 
Old November 16th, 2007, 11:15 PM   #6: [T] [P]
bman3k
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+2 vs. Chaotic Evil
I never heard it before and I really enjoyed it, good one 9/10
 
 

 
Old November 17th, 2007, 03:50 AM   #7: [T] [P]
neorics
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that is freaking awesome!!!

hahahaha

 
Old November 17th, 2007, 02:21 PM   #8: [T] [P]
DarthKrauser
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Press Start
Best one all week,9.8/10.
 
TRRROGGDDOOOORRRR!
Trogdor was a man,I mean,he was a dragon man,maybe..he was just a dragon..but he was still
TRRROGGDDOOOORRRR!
Burninat-ing the countryside,burninating the peasants,burninating all the peoples..and their THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!THATCHED ROOF COTTAGES!(Squeadly VS. Meadly Wicked dueling guitar solo)
 

 
Old November 18th, 2007, 01:58 AM   #9: [T] [P]
Major Isoor
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Guitar Hero
lol!

Ha ha ha ha ha! That was good! I'm gonna tell a couple of my friends that! If I could, I'd give you a tip, but here's a rep instead!

 
Old November 19th, 2007, 04:17 AM   #10: [T] [P]
Tubby_23
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Zone Cleared
That's pretty good could have some use at school.
8/10

 
Old November 19th, 2007, 10:32 AM   #11: [T] [P]
Mharll
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Very good 9/10

 
Old November 19th, 2007, 11:28 PM   #12: [T] [P]
Mike!
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Hero of Kvatch
Nice!
 
A man chooses. A slave obeys.

There's a bump in the basement. There's a knocking on the wall. In the pumping of the pistons, I swear I heard your call. There's a bump in the basement. There's a hole in the floor. There's a guard in the garden, locking up the door. There's a rumble in the floorboards. No shutting out the sound. And the workers are below me, digging underground. Feel the building all around me like a wrap of armored skin. But the more we are protected... the more we're trapped within.

...Níl gach uile fhánaí caillte...
 

 
Old November 20th, 2007, 05:02 AM   #13: [T] [P]
KingJazzaD12
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Magikarp
7 outta ten lol im harsh although very good joke

 
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