A compliltation of blonde jokes.

[Austin.]

Please don't dis me for this, I thought some of these were funny, some just gave me a little chuckle, well, here goes.

Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."

The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose... they've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."

"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.

Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose... they've pulled their collars off while they were playing."

"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde.

After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"


This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies, "Yes."

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."


Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."


How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --->























<----- Scroll Up.



Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden. "Take all the debris you want." And with that, he left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?"


I hope all you think atleast 1 of these were funny, some were old, but good IMO.

[Freakout]

lolololololz

[Austin.]

Well, were they atleast decent? I thought they were ok.

[Air Head]

you didn't get cartmen so be happy. 7/10 for me.

[Mharll]

You advertised a compliltation of blonde jokes and a compliltation of blonde jokes is exactly what was delivered. That's fair enough in my opinion.

[Austin.]

Meh, The scroll up/scroll down one was pretty funny if you're a blonde IMO and the first and last one were good.

[bman3k]

I didn't really like the first two, but the last three were pretty funny .

[Velocity]

I'd never heard the last one. It was all right.

[Mrmakee]

Ha good ones. First two weren't that great. 6/10

[Sini]

I thought the first chapter of the first joke was the whole joke; they had no clue which puppy is which, yet they would've used bows to tell them apart.

I've never heard the last on the list. Quite nice, though I've heard and read so many blonde jokes that they don't make me laugh anymore. Note, I'm not a blonde. I mean my hair isn't blonde.

[Migraine.]

They all made me laugh 'cept for the Mercedes one because i posted it 6 months ago.

[Mrmakee]

Originally Posted by JerichoMigraine

They all made me laugh 'cept for the Mercedes one because i posted it 6 months ago.

And yet it says you've been a member for 5 months. You must have more than one file thingie, i dunno what to call it.

Everyone's heard the mercedes one. I did when i was like 7.

[Migraine.]

no, i've been banned once.

[neorics]

3rd and 4th was funny but the other ones are lame...

[Major Isoor]

Yeah, the scroll up/down was good, so was the fishing one, but the mercedes one wouldn't of really worked, since they wouldn't be able to leave anyway without the key. Still good though: 8/10.