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Old April 16th, 2012, 06:06 PM   #1: [Thread] [Post]
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Last chance.

The cameras have found Jack "Komodo" Porter and Daniel Shine in a somewhat lavish locker room backstage at ________. Tears are welling up in Daniel Shine's eyes, as he remains upset about not being re-invited to the Winner's Circle. MAN UP, DAN. Ahem. Anyway, fighting back the tears, Shine is able to get a couple words out.

Daniel Shine:
B-...bu-...but it was my idea. I tried for MONTHS to bring everyone back together. You can't do this to me!


Jack "Komodo" Porter:
What's wrong, Dan? ARE Y-


Daniel Shine:
YES! I am mad!


Jack "Komodo" Porter:
Yeah, uh...I was just gonna ask if you were hungry. Malice went to grab some pizza. He should be back any minute.


Daniel Shine:
...oh. Well in that case, I could probably go for-

DAMNIT! NO! Look, I'm not here for food. I refuse to just stand by and let you two reform the Winner's Circle after all the time I spent trying to get it back together. Now if this is gonna go down, then I demand to be back in.


Jack "Komodo" Porter:
Fine. Just stop crying about it. I'll give you a shot if you can beat me.


Daniel Shine:
You shittin' me? What is more fighting gonna solve?


Jack "Komodo" Porter:
Don't be silly. I'm not talking about fighting. I'm talking about this.


Komodo steps away for a second, returning with a couple pens and paper.

Jack "Komodo" Porter:
That's right. Tic tac toe. One game. You win and you can rejoin us.


Daniel Shine:
That's all? Game on!


The two men sit down at a table, furiously engaging in a battle of X's and O's. After a little back and forth, a huge smile comes over Shine's face, as he appears to have Komodo dead to rights.

Daniel Shine:
Nice try, Jack. But nobody, and I mean NOBODY, beats Daniel Shine at tic tac toe.


Shine goes to make his final move for the win, but the door to the locker room opens, and in walks Malice, carrying a large pizza box and a two liter bottle of orange soda.

Malice:
Whoa. Who let you in here, Shine? This is Winner's Circle exclusive territory.


Daniel Shine:
Well then I'll have you know that once I make this last X and beat Komodo, I will be back in the Winner's Circle once and for all. WHOO!


Shine pumps his right fist in excitement as Malice slowly makes his way over to survey the situation. Just as Daniel Shine starts to reach to finish the game, Malice trips, spilling soda all over the paper, ruining everything.

Malice:
...oops. Game over.


Jack "Komodo" Porter:
Ah, you were so close.


Daniel Shine:
WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!


Malice:
My bad, man. Hey...are you mad?


Daniel Shine:
I HATE YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!


Shine runs out of the room weeping openly.
 

Word.

 

 
Old April 16th, 2012, 07:16 PM   #2: [Thread] [Post]
Dean
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M-M-M-Monster Kill!
Before running out of the door, Shine turns toward Malice and Jack, his eyes welled up with tears.

Daniel Shine:
AND YOU SHOULD BE DRINKING MALBEC, NOT GODDAMN PEPSI!


With that, Dan slams the door shut, running down the corridors and screaming incomprehensible gibberish for hours.
 
Am I worthless?
Am I filthy?
Am I too far gone for a remedy?
Will you help me?
Cause I'm dying
To be something more than a memory
If I reach out
Can I trust you?
Will you help me see the light of one more day?
Take the bullets away
 

 
Old April 16th, 2012, 07:21 PM   #3: [Thread] [Post]
Slick Rick
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Several hours later, the door reopens. Lance Van Leer stands there holding a bag from Taco Bell. He begins distributing the contents.

Lance Van Leer:
A gordita crunch supreme for Malice....volcano nachos for Komodo...and for Dan...


Shine can be seen poking his head through the door.

Lance Van Leer:
NOTHING.


LVL pushes Shine's head out and slams the door.
 
 

 
Old April 16th, 2012, 07:23 PM   #4: [Thread] [Post]
Dean
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Shine then drives 960 miles to get a Doritos Los Tacos and eats it alone while weeping openly. The Mime joins him and begins to console God's Finest Grappler, but Shine lashes out at him.

Daniel Shine:
SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!


The Mime backs off, leaving Dan to cry by himself.
 
Am I worthless?
Am I filthy?
Am I too far gone for a remedy?
Will you help me?
Cause I'm dying
To be something more than a memory
If I reach out
Can I trust you?
Will you help me see the light of one more day?
Take the bullets away
 

 
Old April 16th, 2012, 11:55 PM   #5: [Thread] [Post]
the dmg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dean View Post
Shine then drives 960 miles to get a Doritos Los Tacos and eats it alone while weeping openly. The Mime joins him and begins to console God's Finest Grappler, but Shine lashes out at him.

Daniel Shine:
SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!


The Mime backs off, leaving Dan to cry by himself.
The Mime then locks Shine in an invisible case of emotion. Shine, unable to free himself, cries even more because he can't escape.
  the DOG, the MAN, the GOD  

 
Old May 6th, 2012, 09:21 AM   #6: [Thread] [Post]
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M-M-M-Monster Kill!
Malice:
That Adam Pugh thing was a really bad idea.

Komodo:
Yeah, whoever did that... it was really tasteless.


Daniel Shine looks incredulous. He then begins to cry.

Daniel Shine:
YOU'RE BOTH MEAN!


Malice slowly walks toward the sobbing Shine, looking him right in the eye and saying...

Malice:
...Would you like a bowl of cream to go with that remark?


Dan, a blubbering mess, runs out of the room screaming and sobbing as Malice shakes his head. Suddenly, Lance Van Leer steps into view from out of nowhere.

Lance Van Leer:
That was pretty harsh, man.

Quote Dean edited at 11:10 AM (May 6th, 2012)
 
Am I worthless?
Am I filthy?
Am I too far gone for a remedy?
Will you help me?
Cause I'm dying
To be something more than a memory
If I reach out
Can I trust you?
Will you help me see the light of one more day?
Take the bullets away
 

 
Old May 6th, 2012, 09:27 AM   #7: [Thread] [Post]
BlueLion
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Press Start
So we meet again Mr.Russo.
  "When I was a young man, I had liberty, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it. Many decades would pass before I understood the meaning of all three. And now, the twilight of my life, this understanding has passed into contentment.

Love, liberty, and time: once so disposable, are the fuels that drive me forward. And love, most especially, mio caro. For you, our children, our brothers and sisters. And for the vast and wonderful world that gave us life, and keeps us guessing. Endless affection, mio Sofia.

Forever yours,
Ezio Auditore."

^ Best ending ever.
 

 
Old May 6th, 2012, 09:55 AM   #8: [Thread] [Post]
VINTAGE DEED
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Horadric Cube
...
 

Word.

 

 
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