Comedy Hour!

[Nightfall]

A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I borrow the car for tonight?"

Her father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob."

So the girl starts sucking and almost immediately spits it back out.

"Your penis tastes like sh*t!" she cried.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," her father replied, "I loaned the car to your brother tonight."

-----

What does the bible and a penis have in common?

They both get shoved down your throat by a priest.

-----

What’s the difference between a computer and a woman?

You only have to punch information into a computer once.

[Comrade]

harsh, but chuckled.

[Velocity]

In order:

Lame
Old
Old

[Cancoria]

I chuckled at the second one.

[Nightfall]

A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in a small town. He's going through his usual run of off-colour and "dumb blonde" jokes, when a well-presented blonde woman in the fourth row stands up and says: "I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What possible connection can a person's hair colour have with their fundamental worth as a human being? It is morons like you that prevent women like myself from being respected at work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential because you and your anachronistic kind continue to perpetuate negative images against not only blondes, but women in general, for the sake of cheap laughs. You are a pathetic relic of the past, and what you do is not only contrary to discrimination laws in every civilised country, it is deeply offensive to people with modern sensibilities and basic respect for their fellow citizens. You should hang your head in shame, you pusillanimous little maggot."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologise, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this Mister! I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"

[Velocity]

That's also an old one, but just goes to show that yes... people really can be THAT stupid.

[Cancoria]

I've heard that one. Still pretty funny, though.

[Nite]

ew
l0l
no
l0l

[Spindrift]

Since everyone else is doing lists:

That's just weird
Nice
Ha, nice as well
Really old

[Redeye]

1st one was ok. The rest aren't good.