Redeye
May 8th, 2009, 01:47 AM
Just some jokes. Very immature but still funny.
Dreams of 3 Men
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So three guys are on a road trip and stop at a hotel. They only have enough money for a room with just one bed, so they all sleep in the same bed.
In the morning, they're talking over breakfast. One guy says "Man, I had the best dream last night. I dreamed I was getting a hand job."
The second guy says "No way! I had the same dream!"
And the third guy says "Really? I dreamed I was skiing."
Me Likes Fruits
----------------------
Three men are walking through a jungle when they come across a cannibalistic tribe. The men are taken to the chief, who offers them a chance to live if they can fulfill his test.
"The test comes in two parts," the chief says. "First, you must collect ten of any fruit you find in the jungle. Come back to hear of the second part."
When the first guy comes back with ten apples, the chief tells him the second part, which is to somehow fit all of the fruit in his ass without showing any sign of emotion. He makes it up to nine, but winces in pain on the tenth, so he's killed and eaten.
The second guy comes back with ten blueberries, and begins fitting them up his ass. He makes it to nine, but begins laughing on the tenth, so he's killed and eaten.
In heaven, the first and second guy meet up. The first guy asks "Why did you start laughing? You were so close!"
The second guy says "Well, I saw the third guy come back, and he was carrying pineapples."
I hear ya!~
---------------
A lonely guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual animal. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s with me for a beer?” But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?”
But again there was no answer from his new pet. So he waited a few more minutes, thinking about the situation and he decided to ask him one more time. This time, he put his face up against the centipede’s little house he shouted, “HEY, IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO FRANK`S PLACE AND HAVE A DRINK WITH ME?”
A little voice came out of the box, “I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! I`M PUTTING ON MY SHOES!”
Dreams of 3 Men
-------------------------
So three guys are on a road trip and stop at a hotel. They only have enough money for a room with just one bed, so they all sleep in the same bed.
In the morning, they're talking over breakfast. One guy says "Man, I had the best dream last night. I dreamed I was getting a hand job."
The second guy says "No way! I had the same dream!"
And the third guy says "Really? I dreamed I was skiing."
Me Likes Fruits
----------------------
Three men are walking through a jungle when they come across a cannibalistic tribe. The men are taken to the chief, who offers them a chance to live if they can fulfill his test.
"The test comes in two parts," the chief says. "First, you must collect ten of any fruit you find in the jungle. Come back to hear of the second part."
When the first guy comes back with ten apples, the chief tells him the second part, which is to somehow fit all of the fruit in his ass without showing any sign of emotion. He makes it up to nine, but winces in pain on the tenth, so he's killed and eaten.
The second guy comes back with ten blueberries, and begins fitting them up his ass. He makes it to nine, but begins laughing on the tenth, so he's killed and eaten.
In heaven, the first and second guy meet up. The first guy asks "Why did you start laughing? You were so close!"
The second guy says "Well, I saw the third guy come back, and he was carrying pineapples."
I hear ya!~
---------------
A lonely guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner he wanted to buy an unusual animal. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for it, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s with me for a beer?” But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?”
But again there was no answer from his new pet. So he waited a few more minutes, thinking about the situation and he decided to ask him one more time. This time, he put his face up against the centipede’s little house he shouted, “HEY, IN THERE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO FRANK`S PLACE AND HAVE A DRINK WITH ME?”
A little voice came out of the box, “I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! I`M PUTTING ON MY SHOES!”