Beast.
March 26th, 2009, 10:48 PM
1.
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but
they just know that they
are in love. One day they decide that they want to
get married, so Bruce
goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks
up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in
love and I want to ask
you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr.
Smith replies, "Well
Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it,
Bruce replies "In Jenny's
room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit
there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says
with a huge grin, "Okay
then how will you live? You're not old enough to get
a job. You'll need to
support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance..
Jenny makes 5 bucks a week
and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a
month and that should do
us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that
Bruce has put so much
thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to
come up with something
that Bruce won't have an answer to. After a second,
Mr. Smith says, "Well
Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all
figured out. I just have
one more question for you. What will you do if the
two of you should have
little ones of your own?"
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well,
we've been lucky so far..."
Mr. Smith doesn't think the little sh*t is adorable
anymore
2.
Norman and his blonde wife live in Fargo.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later, while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today, you must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
So, Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.
The next week they are having breakfast again and the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 10 -12 inches of snow today, you must park…” and then the electricity goes out in the middle of the sentence.
Norman’s wife says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do…”
Norman says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time.”
3.
A trip on an airplane.
“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
“What are my choices?” John asked.
“Yes or no,” she replied.
I know, they are lame. But most jokes are.:wink:
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but
they just know that they
are in love. One day they decide that they want to
get married, so Bruce
goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks
up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in
love and I want to ask
you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr.
Smith replies, "Well
Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it,
Bruce replies "In Jenny's
room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit
there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says
with a huge grin, "Okay
then how will you live? You're not old enough to get
a job. You'll need to
support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance..
Jenny makes 5 bucks a week
and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a
month and that should do
us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that
Bruce has put so much
thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to
come up with something
that Bruce won't have an answer to. After a second,
Mr. Smith says, "Well
Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all
figured out. I just have
one more question for you. What will you do if the
two of you should have
little ones of your own?"
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well,
we've been lucky so far..."
Mr. Smith doesn't think the little sh*t is adorable
anymore
2.
Norman and his blonde wife live in Fargo.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later, while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today, you must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.”
So, Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.
The next week they are having breakfast again and the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 10 -12 inches of snow today, you must park…” and then the electricity goes out in the middle of the sentence.
Norman’s wife says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do…”
Norman says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time.”
3.
A trip on an airplane.
“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
“What are my choices?” John asked.
“Yes or no,” she replied.
I know, they are lame. But most jokes are.:wink: