The customer is...

[Velocity]

Not always right. (http://notalwaysright.com/)

One of my favorites:

Paging Leonidas To The Front Desk
HARDWARE STORE | NEW YORK, NY, USA

Customer: “Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!”

Cashier: “Sir, I already told you… we don’t have ANY hammers back here that aren’t already stocked on the shelves.”

Customer: “LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!”

(At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what’s going on; note that I’m the manager.)

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!”

Me: “Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don’t have what you’re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check–”

Customer: “F**K THAT!!! IT’S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!”

Me: “That’s it. Get out of my store.”

Customer: “What? NO!”

Me: “Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.”

Customer: “Then do it!”

(I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.)

Me: “Now, then… you wanna apologize and maybe come back in?”

Customer: “No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!”

Me: *puts the customer down*

Customer: *confused* “… What is it?”

(I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.)

Me: “Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!” *kicks customer out of store and slams door*
:rotfl:

Store - Bad Customer = Happy
RETAIL | NEW JERSEY, USA

(This incident happened right before we closed on Christmas Eve. A woman has purchased a shirt and a pair of pants. I ring her purchase and tell her the total.)

Me: “That’ll be $39.98.”

Customer: “WHAT? No, no, no. That’s not right. No. How much was the shirt?”

Me: “$12.99. The pants were $26.99.”

Customer: “NO THEY WEREN’T! They were $12.99, just like the pants! I got them from right over THERE!” *violently stabs her finger in the direction of the rack*

Me: *sighs* “Ok, hold on one second, ma’am… I’ll check.

Customer: *to coworker* “I’m about to put this b**** on blast, you watch.”

(I read the sign and confirm that the shirts on one side of the rack are $12.99, but the pants on the other are $26.99. This is also written out on the sale sign.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but the sign says right here that the pants are $26.99.”

Customer: “What?! Well how was I supposed to know that? I saw $12.99 so I thought $12.99! I don’t read letters, I only read numbers!”

Me: “…well, our signs have both letters and numbers, and you have to read both to understand the sale.”

Customer: “No way am I paying $26.99 for these pants! Change it!”

Me: “Well, it’s not our error, ma’am. The sign is correctly written and posted on the correct rack, even in the correct position. There’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: *slapping counter* “FINE. There’s no reason why I should have to read signs! I only read numbers, not letters!”

[Spindrift]

First one was decent. Second one... wow... I'm never working at a job where I have to socialize with customers.

[Nite]

lol sparta

[Vermillion]

First one was good, second not so.

[Velocity]

Insert Sex Euphemism Here
TECH SUPPORT | VANCOUVER, BC, CANADA

(I get a lot of funny calls, and most of the time, I can stay calm and professional through the call. This is the only one I’ve had where I needed to hit the ‘mute’ button. Thankfully, he was talking about the website–I eventually needed to dispatch a tech.)

Me: “Thanks for calling Internet Tech Support, Emily speaking.”

Customer: “Yeah, I was looking at this porn site, and now I can’t get it up anymore.”

Me: “…”

Numa Numa Meets The Beaches Of Normandy
RETAIL | CHARLOTTETOWN, PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND, CANADA

(I overheard two cashiers talking about World of Warcraft while an older female customer and her husband approached them.)

Cashier #1: “My guild went on a big raid last night but didn’t complete it.”

Cashier #2: “You weren’t able to kill the boss?”

Cashier #1: “No, the boss was really tough to kill; we’re going to try again tomorrow.”

Customer: *to husband* “We should call a manager–I can’t believe these kids are talking about killing their boss!”

Cashier #2: “Oh no, ma’am, it’s a video game called World of Warcraft. You go on adventures to kill monsters, and the big ones are called ‘bosses’.”

Customer: “I don’t care about your ‘World War’ game. No wonder there is so much violence in this world - video games teaching kids to kill their bosses!”

Cashier #1: “It’s not ‘World War,’ ma’am, it’s World of Warcraft, and it’s not teaching us violence…”

Customer: “I don’t care what it’s called. My husband fought in a real world war and he can tell you, violence is not a game! Right, Richard?

Customer’s husband: *distracted* “Huh?”

Customer: “Forget it. C’mon, we’re never coming back to this place. One of these kids is bound to shoot the place up.”

I think I found a new favorite quotes website...

[Shoryuken]

Damn teenagers with their World War game. Killing their bosses and slaughtering animals.

It ain't right, I tell you what.

[FalconZero]

Who’s The Man Now
Video Rental Store | Boise, ID, USA

(It’s past closing time and I’ve just dealt with a rush of 3 new applications that took 15 minutes each, and am moving on to the next customer.)

Me: “Sorry about that, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, these movies aren’t working. They are all scratched.”

Me: “Sorry about that. Pick whatever you want and I’ll exchange them.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(A few minutes later, a big, flannel clad man walks in.)

Customer’s husband: “My wife was just in here for half an hour! ”

Me: “I’m sorry about that…” *explains situation*

Customer’s husband: “I don’t care! You need to have more than one register open! Where is your manager?!”

Me: “He is in the back. We were suppose to close 45 minutes ago which is why I’m the only one on the register.”

Customer’s husband: “You idiot! I need to see him now!”

Me: “He’ll be here… now calm down!”

Customer’s husband: “YOU MADE MY PREGNANT WIFE STAND IN LINE FOR HALF AN HOUR!”

Me: “Well, sir… maybe you should have been a man and came in here instead of your wife.”

Customer’s husband: *speechless*

(My manager had to pretend to fire me in front of him, but we later joked about him in the back room.)
I would have loved to have been in there to get that man's autograph.

[Zero 24]

I can tell from personal experience. I work like tech support for DSL and people sometimes can be very stupid and/or very stubborn.

I got a call about someone maybe not being able to get connected to the internet and I asked him what was the browser he was using and he said: Mozarella Firefox. Of course I had to press the mute button, I couldn't speak at all.

And some people think that since they are the customers you can do magic to get their problems solved when they call, I really don't know what's wrong with them...

[Whale Biologist]

That Sparta one is like the greatest thing ever.

The one with the pregnant wife is funny too, and true.

Yeah, I've worked in payroll before and I've had some funny stuff happen too.

[Kat]

Oh my god those are hilarious. I'd say some of these sound a little exaggerated but after working in customer service for two years it's completely possible.

Here's one a coworker told me. (We sell money orders for a 25 cent fee.)
Customer: Can I buy a 500 dollar money order?
Cashier: Sure. The total is $500.25.
Customer hands her a quarter.
Cashier: Uh... You still owe me 500 dollars.
Customer: But your sign says they're 25 cents!
Cashier: That's the fee. You still have to pay for the money order.
Customer: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! *Storms off.*

Also watched a customer ask for a roll of quarters. But had no money to trade for it. Just wanted a roll of quarters. I guess people think we give out free money now...

This one made me laugh a lot:

Customer: “I need to return this toothbrush.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No - I thought it would work.”

Me: “How did it not work?”

Customer: “Well, it said it had indicator bristles, and when I peed on them they didn’t change color! How is it supposed to indicate if I’m pregnant or not?!”

Me: “Ma’am…they’re to indicate whether the toothbrush needs replacing, not whether you’re pregnant.”

Customer: *looks sheepish and leaves*

Me: *to manager* “I’m going on break now…”

[Tokito]

The Road To Yell(ing) Is Paved With Good Intentions
Retail | Seattle, WA
Customer: “How much is this bag?”

Me: “That bag is actually part of a deal, if you purchase twenty dollars worth of product you can get the bag for an additional ten dollars.”

Customer: “…That’s not what I asked. How much is the bag?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The price of the bag itself is forty dollars.”

Customer: “So why’d you tell me all of that other garbage?”

Me: “I was just telling you the deal we had going on with the bag. If you spend twenty dollars, you can get the bag for ten dollars.

(I glance at her shopping bag and notice other items.)

Me: “… and it looks like, with those lotions, you’ll be spending around eighteen dollars, so if you spent another two dollars, you could get the deal.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just buy the bag?”

Me: “…You can buy the bag. It’s just a better deal the other way. You’re already close to spending twenty dollars with those two lotions, so if you reached twenty, you’d get the bag for ten.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Any time I come into this store, you people always try to get me to buy more of your junk than I want.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not trying to push you to buy anything… You’d just be saving a lot of money. Spending around thirty dollars and getting more items, rather than spending around sixty and getting fewer items.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t care. If I wanted to buy something else, I’d have put in in my shopping bag. This is all I want, so don’t go trying to get me to buy anything else. I’m ready to check out.”

Me: “Okay, then. I can ring you out.”

(We both proceed to the cash register, where she purchases the two lotions and the tote bag.)

Me: “Alright, that’s going to come to $61.77 after tax.”

(The woman goes to swipe her card when her daughter comes up to the register, adding a $6 lip gloss to her purchase. The woman nods, and I ring it through as well.)

Me: “And the new total is going to be $36.21.”

Customer: “Why did the price go down so much?!”

Me: “…Seriously?”

Surprisingly this is not an uncommon occurrence in retail.

I was at work yesterday and we had one of those "custmers is not always right" experiences.

The Road To Yell(ing) Is Paved With Good Intentions
Retail | Seattle, WA
Customer: “How much is this bag?”

Me: “That bag is actually part of a deal, if you purchase twenty dollars worth of product you can get the bag for an additional ten dollars.”

Customer: “…That’s not what I asked. How much is the bag?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The price of the bag itself is forty dollars.”

Customer: “So why’d you tell me all of that other garbage?”

Me: “I was just telling you the deal we had going on with the bag. If you spend twenty dollars, you can get the bag for ten dollars.

(I glance at her shopping bag and notice other items.)

Me: “… and it looks like, with those lotions, you’ll be spending around eighteen dollars, so if you spent another two dollars, you could get the deal.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just buy the bag?”

Me: “…You can buy the bag. It’s just a better deal the other way. You’re already close to spending twenty dollars with those two lotions, so if you reached twenty, you’d get the bag for ten.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Any time I come into this store, you people always try to get me to buy more of your junk than I want.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not trying to push you to buy anything… You’d just be saving a lot of money. Spending around thirty dollars and getting more items, rather than spending around sixty and getting fewer items.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t care. If I wanted to buy something else, I’d have put in in my shopping bag. This is all I want, so don’t go trying to get me to buy anything else. I’m ready to check out.”

Me: “Okay, then. I can ring you out.”

(We both proceed to the cash register, where she purchases the two lotions and the tote bag.)

Me: “Alright, that’s going to come to $61.77 after tax.”

(The woman goes to swipe her card when her daughter comes up to the register, adding a $6 lip gloss to her purchase. The woman nods, and I ring it through as well.)

Me: “And the new total is going to be $36.21.”

Customer: “Why did the price go down so much?!”

Me: “…Seriously?”

Surprisingly this is not an uncommon occurrence in retail.

I was at work yesterday and we had one of those "custmers is not always right" experiences.

The Road To Yell(ing) Is Paved With Good Intentions
Retail | Seattle, WA
Customer: “How much is this bag?”

Me: “That bag is actually part of a deal, if you purchase twenty dollars worth of product you can get the bag for an additional ten dollars.”

Customer: “…That’s not what I asked. How much is the bag?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. The price of the bag itself is forty dollars.”

Customer: “So why’d you tell me all of that other garbage?”

Me: “I was just telling you the deal we had going on with the bag. If you spend twenty dollars, you can get the bag for ten dollars.

(I glance at her shopping bag and notice other items.)

Me: “… and it looks like, with those lotions, you’ll be spending around eighteen dollars, so if you spent another two dollars, you could get the deal.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just buy the bag?”

Me: “…You can buy the bag. It’s just a better deal the other way. You’re already close to spending twenty dollars with those two lotions, so if you reached twenty, you’d get the bag for ten.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Any time I come into this store, you people always try to get me to buy more of your junk than I want.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not trying to push you to buy anything… You’d just be saving a lot of money. Spending around thirty dollars and getting more items, rather than spending around sixty and getting fewer items.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t care. If I wanted to buy something else, I’d have put in in my shopping bag. This is all I want, so don’t go trying to get me to buy anything else. I’m ready to check out.”

Me: “Okay, then. I can ring you out.”

(We both proceed to the cash register, where she purchases the two lotions and the tote bag.)

Me: “Alright, that’s going to come to $61.77 after tax.”

(The woman goes to swipe her card when her daughter comes up to the register, adding a $6 lip gloss to her purchase. The woman nods, and I ring it through as well.)

Me: “And the new total is going to be $36.21.”

Customer: “Why did the price go down so much?!”

Me: “…Seriously?”

Surprisingly this is not an uncommon occurrence in retail.

I was at work yesterday and we had one of those "custmers is not always right" experiences.



Surprisingly this is not an uncommon occurrence in retail.

I was at work yesterday and we had one of those "custmers is not always right" experiences.

[SuperSimon]

Some of these sound pretty fake. The sparta one gave me a laugh though,

[Major Isoor]

lol, nice job gathering/experiencing those, guys! :D :^:

[Kat]

Some of these sound pretty fake. The sparta one gave me a laugh though,
You've never worked retail, have you? Probably a few are made up but I can believe that 99% of them are true. I've had somebody get so mad her face turned bright red when I accidentally gave her a Canadian penny. (Should've seen her when I helpfully pointed out that Canadian money is worth more anyway.) I've had another lady get furious that we ran her check for 3 cents more than she wrote it for. (She probably wrote it for 3 cents under the total on accident and the cashier just ran it for the total.)

I work the return counter a lot and the "But I don't need it and you HAVE to take it back" is super common. I have people try to return stuff that is two years old and finally broke and they can't understand why we won't take it. Another common one is they will tr to return something that's over 100 bucks that they bought six months to a year ago saying they REALLY need the money. When I ask why they didn't bring it back sooner they say they didn't have a chance, they were out of town, sombody died, blah blah. I just tell them they must not need the money that badly then.

The one I love the most is when smokers bring back clothes that REEK of cigs. I tell them we can't take it when it's been smoke damaged and they swear up and down they can't smell anything on it. Duh.. if you stink so bad that I can smell it when you walk into the store, you probably aren't gonna notice the clothes. When one customer swore she didn't smoke and nobody else had smoked around them, I had a manager ask if she drove through a fire.

There is one on that site where a customer bought milk before it expired, used part of it then it did expire and they wanted their money back. I have had a customer do exactly this... and they got their money back! Managers..