...to screw in a lightbulb?

[Mag Launcher]

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
15, 1 to hold it in place and 14 to drink whiskey until the room spins.

How many female rights activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5, 1 to screw it in and 4 to from a support group.

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3, 1 to actually do it, and 2 to talk about how much better it was than with a man.

[Cavalier!]

meh, it was okay, didnt really do it for me.

[Crazy Hobo]

I don't know. I saw why it would be funny, but it didn't tickle me.

[Mrmakee]

First two got a little something out of me, not the last.

[Two Angels And A Dream]

First two are ok though I don't see why you would need 14 Irish men to drink a bottle of whisky, I think one Irish dude could handle it on his own.

Third one is a lie.

[Spindrift]

I've heard the first one, but not the last two. They were ok.

[Velocity]

These are approaching the age of blonde jokes -- OLD.

[Mag Launcher]

First two are ok though I don't see why you would need 14 Irish men to drink a bottle of whisky, I think one Irish dude could handle it on his own.

Third one is a lie.
Where did I say bottle? You just like to correct people.

They're old, but it takes that much more effort to make them funny and creative. Not that I provide that effort.


How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. (That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...)

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
3, but they're really one.

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they would wait for a suitable donor and do a filament transplant.

How many vets for the same procedure?
1 to do it, and 2 more to complain how an MD would make ten times more for the same procedure.

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just talk to the dead light bulb and give it some exercises, and hope it works the next time they see it.

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
51. One to change it, and fifty to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, how many can you afford?

How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?
Who said it's dark?

[Crazy Jamie]

I like some of the ones in the second set. I must admit that I do have a bit of a soft spot for these jokes, even though they rarely have me in fits of laughter.


How many James Bond fans does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but there'll be a few others there who'll stand around talking about how much better the old lightbulb was.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

[Kat]

Where did I say bottle? You just like to correct people.Yeah, it definitely doesn't say a bottle anywhere. Maybe Irish just don't like to drink by themselves like a loser. =P

I liked some of them.

[Spindrift]

I like the second batch of jokes better.

Same with Crazy Jamie's. The James Bond fans one was my favourite.

[Mag Launcher]

Yeah, it definitely doesn't say a bottle anywhere. Maybe Irish just don't like to drink by themselves like a loser. =P

I liked some of them.

haha no, they have good 'ol barrels. xXx

[Two Angels And A Dream]

Well unless whiskey is sold in another sort of container I stand by my assumption that it was from a bottle and as you did not specify how many "bottles" of whiskey there were I will assume it was one as I doubt that even a collective of Irish Men could afford more than one bottle of whiskey.

And yes I do like to correct people, especially when I believe them to be wrong, because it makes a nice change of pace for me.

As for the jokes, most are old but I liked the bond one and the Lawyer one, both were pretty good spins on an the format.

[Mag Launcher]

Don't over analyze it, it's just a joke.
Uhh, 14 middle aged males averaging 160lb and with moderate tolerance to alcohol consume 14 ounces each of 80 proof bourbon aged 2 years within 3 hours is required to install a light bulb.

[Two Angels And A Dream]

Now that's a joke I can laugh at!

[Air Head]

How many ants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, the question is, how did they get in there?

[Comrade]

lol. Actually laughable.

[Mag Launcher]

Hah, that's funny.

How many US Army soldiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
The US Army is not authorized to disclose any information regarding this subject.

[Cait Sith]

How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2,001, 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and 2,000 to shoot people randomly and yell "BOMBS! BOMBS! BOMBS WE HAVE! WE KILL U ALLLZ!" ...Yeaaaaaaah...

[SuperSimon]

How many japs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2. One to call Daddy, and the other to go get diet cokes.