Kat
January 19th, 2008, 06:13 AM
Copied from a MySpace bulletin so y'all have probably heard most if not all of them before.. but a few made me laugh so here ya go.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer
and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it
again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a
cliff in your new
car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own
name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a
golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe
sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep
that kick!
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it
alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in
common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in
common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between " ooooooh"and
"aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist
colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and
a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and
a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye
contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the
bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and
rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up
in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer
and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it
again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a
cliff in your new
car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own
name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a
golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe
sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep
that kick!
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it
alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in
common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in
common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between " ooooooh"and
"aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist
colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and
a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and
a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye
contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the
bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and
rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up
in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!