Can I win her over?

[Josh777]

I had just recently met this girl and I started liking her. We have known each other for over a week and we're friends at the moment. When she first met me, I wasn't sure if she was flirting with me, or just being nice, so I had to find out. I mean, she was always nice to me, shared her food, heck, she also winked at me twice, so I was assuming she was interested.

Well, this is what happened. I called her up and talked to her on the phone and she told me she's been dating some guy for a few months but she said she wasn't too fond of the guy. She said their relationship isn't serious, and she sounded like she didn't really like the guy in so many words. She did say that she liked me and wanted to date me, but she said she needed more time to think about this since she had just met this one guy. She also mentioned that she may want to get to know me a little more before dating. I told her on the phone that I "wanted to be with her", so I don't think I was coming out too strong.

I think the ball is pretty much out of my court at the moment. There's not much I can do at this point except to find out who she wants to be with. I'm thinking the only thing I can do to win her over is to keep being a good friend to her and that's about it. By the way, I am 22 and she said she's in her early 30's. At first I thought she was around my age, but one thing I've noticed about Asians is that they don't show age.

So far, it looks like she wants to be with me more than the other guy she's with, but that doesn't really mean anything. I'm sort of skeptical about women like this because she might be one of those "jump ship women", which could also happen to me, but I don't sense that she's that kind of person.

If she rejects me, I don't think It will bother me. I've been screwed over so many times in my life, I'm almost at the point to where it feels like it's impossible to get a girlfriend. I sometimes feel like I'm under a curse or something.

[Grey Angel]

I think the ball is pretty much out of my court at the moment. There's not much I can do at this point except to find out who she wants to be with. I'm thinking the only thing I can do to win her over is to keep being a good friend to her and that's about it.

Well, at least you know what to do. During this stage, now that you know, you can step it up, but just a tad. You can do a bit of flirting, like maybe a friendly hug during conversation, or some teasing. I don't know if you already do it, but I'm guessing you know what strong and weak is, so just let whatever will happen, happen naturally. By being there for her, you're showing commitment to her, not only as a possible boyfriend, but more importantly, as a true friend.

By the way, I am 22 and she said she's in her early 30's. At first I thought she was around my age, but one thing I've noticed about Asians is that they don't show age.

Well, I have to say, I hate it when it turns out the person you like is older and they treat you as nothing more as a friend, or a little brother. The same thing happened to me where I thought they were my age, nope... just saw me as a friend, but we're still cool. But the truth is, not all Asians naturally hide their age, alot of people can do it. I mean, sadly, when I shave, people think I'm in highschool, somtimes, even middle school! It's crazy!

[SonicBoom95]

By the way, I am 22 and she said she's in her early 30's. At first I thought she was around my age, but one thing I've noticed about Asians is that they don't show age.

If you're 22 and she's 30, does that mean you have to catch up with her on all the things she's done 8 years ahead of you?

Think about it, a 22 and a 30 going together? I don't think so.

Next, you might talk about a 5 year old boy going out with a 92 year old woman? How laughable!

[Grey Angel]

Next, you might talk about a 5 year old boy going out with a 92 year old woman? How laughable!

You know, relationships such as these are more common than you think. Yes, the though it very odd, but there are 18 year-olds who go out with 30 year-oldd, which is very disheartening when we feel they should be going out with people their own age, but sometimes, the younger/older person can supply things that people their own age cannot, which is still a mystery, even to me.

[Josh777]

The reason I fell for this girl is because of her personality.

I'm guessing she's 34, but I didn't even know she was around that age until she told me because I thought she was like 24 or something like that. Not only that, but she's also very attractive for her age. I guess this proves that when it comes to love, age isn't a big deal.

She called me back and she said she wanted to go out with me. We're now arranging days to spend time with each other. If all goes well, she might just be my very first serious girlfriend.

[Cody.]

You are in a good spot right now, if she has accepted your offer in going out with her then you've got what you want, But considering that you guys are basically planning out a first date and she's seems to be trying to figure things out between you and this other guy, I'd stay low on the possible steady girlfriend idea, just go along with the date, continue to talk to her and hangout with her and see how things go, as long as you start off slow then build your way up, you keep the chance of sticking with her.

[SonicBoom95]

I was trying to be funny!

[al majnun]

The reason I fell for this girl is because of her personality.

I'm guessing she's 34, but I didn't even know she was around that age until she told me because I thought she was like 24 or something like that. Not only that, but she's also very attractive for her age. I guess this proves that when it comes to love, age isn't a big deal.

She called me back and she said she wanted to go out with me. We're now arranging days to spend time with each other. If all goes well, she might just be my very first serious girlfriend.


I'm not saying this to boost your level of confidence or anything but IMHO you don't need any advice. You know what you're doing and you know what's best for you.

The only suggestion I have (if it can be even called a suggestion) is that you just forget the "serious, serious" and tie it up with string. Don't worry about it being serious or not. Just relax and go with the flow. If it is serious, or ever becomes serious you will be the first one to know. Don't let it bug you now.

Good luck to you.