Have you ever felt like "the bad guy"?

[Falco]

A friend of mine is interested in the same person I am, which is a problem in itself but isn't exactly the focus of this thread. The thing is, my friend is short, pale, and more or less a stereotypical "dork" (that's the best word I can get, he's not a super brain but he's certainly a shut in and is very inexperienced with relationships.) In contrast, I'd say I'm fairly attractive, I'm pretty flirty, and I'm of the "if I like you, I'm in your face until I get a 'yes' or 'no'" mindset.

That being said, my friend seems to feel the need to turn our friendship into a competition for this person's affection, and sees any contact, verbal or otherwise, I make with this girl (who, by the way, I've been friends with since we were fifteen) as a threat, making very thinly veiled insinuations that I should back off. In all honesty, it feels like I'm in one of those coming-of-age films in which the sweet but geeky kid squares off against the confident but boisterous jerk to eventually get the girl. Thing is, it feels like I'm the antagonist.

I know things don't really work out like that in real life, and this isn't an advice thread so much as it is a discussion. Have you ever felt like "the bad guy"?

[AlphaConfidence]

No, I haven't. Not over a situation like this anyway. People need to learn to go for what they want before it's taken away. It's a hard world we live in so you have to either addapt to it or get weeded out with the rest of the people who take dating so passive. There is no need to feel like a "bad guy". It's not like you were stealing her away. He never "had" her in the first place. If you want to help your friend, either teach him what you've learned or direct him to this forum. He needs help.

[Vamp]

I have a very similar problem. I too am more attractive than the opposition, but who's to say the girl thinks so?

Anyway, if I made a move I would definitely feel bad for my friend.

[Wicked]

Chances are, everyone is the bad guy at one point or another in every kind of relationship. It's just something that you just have to feel out and get used to. It doesn't make you a sh*tty person to hurt someone's feelings, and if you tell him as a friend, it'll probably come acrossed better than the girl just shutting him out.

[The Spartan]

There is no bad guy. Whoever the girl likes is the main factor here. If she likes you and he's telling you to back off...that's just not cool. But if she likes him then you should back off.

[Crazy Jamie]

Spartan has made a good point there. Ultimately you two can compete over this girl as much as you want, but she's the one that makes the decision. As such I agree with AlphaConfidence that there's no need to feel like a 'bad guy' here. As long as you are actually sensitive about this and don't set out to hurt your friend's feelings or put him down, she's going to pick the one that she likes the most and neither of you should feel threatened by the other one because of that. It might well cause a little bit of tension, but that's life, and it's up to all involved to accept it.

[Quixotron]

A friend of mine is interested in the same person I am, which is a problem in itself but isn't exactly the focus of this thread. The thing is, my friend is short, pale, and more or less a stereotypical "dork" (that's the best word I can get, he's not a super brain but he's certainly a shut in and is very inexperienced with relationships.) In contrast, I'd say I'm fairly attractive, I'm pretty flirty, and I'm of the "if I like you, I'm in your face until I get a 'yes' or 'no'" mindset.

That being said, my friend seems to feel the need to turn our friendship into a competition for this person's affection, and sees any contact, verbal or otherwise, I make with this girl (who, by the way, I've been friends with since we were fifteen) as a threat, making very thinly veiled insinuations that I should back off. In all honesty, it feels like I'm in one of those coming-of-age films in which the sweet but geeky kid squares off against the confident but boisti erous jerk to eventually get the girl. Thing is, it feels like I'm the antagonist.

I know things don't really work out like that in real life, and this isn't an advice thread so much as it is a discussion. Have you ever felt like "the bad guy"?

If you are what you say you are, then why don't you let your friend have a shot at the girl. if he's a dork, he's gonna need it...

Let the baby have his bottle.

[Blackheart]

Yeah, he is your friend so let him have her. Theres always more fish in the sea. Relationships don't always last forever, but you're friends until the end.

But hey, if she does choose you there's no need to turn her down.

[SonicBoom95]

But hey, if she does choose you there's no need to turn her down.

But, don't go somewhere and meet her by surprize, even if she runs off on the bus.