Ants! Mercenary Guild

[Ants!]

Welcome...

To Ants! Mercenary HQ
(a.k.a. "The homeless
alt refugee soup kitchen")





Our flag:
*dead:dead: :dead: :dead:dead*

U
\_()_/
..ANTS!......---()---......ANTS!..
/ () \
|

Join the mercenary army today!




*..........TO JOIN..........*


Post asking to join.
There is no number 2.

EXTRA STEP FOR ALT ACCOUNTS: In your reply, you must assure us that you are aware of the rules on interacting with your own ats, AND the consequences


After joining

You will be moved into unemployed unless you've been hired already. You may make a resume if you wish , in order to try to convince one of our clients to take you in (having a lame super power with no practical use is always a plus). Also optional are our nifty flags that will fit in your sig:

...........*dead:dead:dead*
....................U
................\_()_/...............\***\__/***/
......ANTS! ---()--- ANTS!......|__~VPS~__|
................./ () \....................|******|
....................|.......................|_____ _|
Join the mercenary army today!

...........*dead:dead:dead*
....................U
................\_()_/...............Donut Tread
......ANTS! ---()--- ANTS!...........On
................./ () \................Duh'venger
....................|
Join the mercenary army today!




In order to make them, just copy the codes below and paste them:

Unemployed:

*dead:dead:dead*
U
\_()_/
ANTS! ---()--- ANTS!
/ () \
|
Join the mercenary army today!



VPS' misfits:

...........*dead:dead:dead*
....................U
................\_()_/...............\***\__/***/
......ANTS! ---()--- ANTS!......|__~VPS~__|
................./ () \....................|******|
....................|.......................|_____ _|
Join the mercenary army today!




Duh'Vengers' cronies:

...........*dead:dead:dead*
....................U
................\_()_/...............Donut Tread
......ANTS! ---()--- ANTS!...........On
................./ () \................Duh'venger
....................|
Join the mercenary army today!



And if you people mooching off our
tax payers in the unemployment line have
trouble finding work, you could always play
on their guilt with a cheap ass cardboard
sign.

Example:

WILL WORK.
FOR
REPS!




*..........TO HIRE..........*


Make an offer by posting
Renting ad space is optional

Primary employers:


VPS' Fabulous Deep in the Pink Clan (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=541461)

\***\__/***/
|__~VPS~__|
|******|
|______|Added benetits for members!

Requirements:
Solemly promise to post in deeppink...
A pink (or mostly pink) signature...
(at least when you post in this topic.
Turn it off if it kills you to change it.)
No minimum post count requirements!








The Happy-Happy
Hug-Hug club


Canceled!


(http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=548901)





Duh'venger's Fabulous

+Alternate Account Clan!+

Are You?
...the proud owner of an Alternate Account?
Does Your Alt?
...get no respect due to low post
count/low rep/recent registration date/extremely
stupid screenname?
FRET NO MORE!
This is the Clan for YOU YOUR ALT(S)! Now YOU YOUR ALT(S) can
share fellowship with the alts of others in GW's Alternate Account Clan!
YES, it's the Clan of the Future! It's the Be All and End all of Clans! It's
the Stupendous, it's the Phenomenal, it's the Monumental, It's...

Alternate Account Clan
Membership Requirements:
An Alternate Account with...
A minimum of 25 posts and...
A signature. (2 week rule.)

(http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=538589)




lowercase usernames
non-anonymous

Hello and welcome to the all new clan
for lowercase users. Rules of joining this
clan are as follows.

* Your user name must begin with a
lowercase letter for at least one
word.


That is all. Older members and new members
all welcome! As there are several cool members
with uppercase usernames, you are welcome
to request to join. Vegetas pink shirt and I will
discuss the method of this at a later date.

This clan is for talking about fun things with
other members with lowercase usernames etc.

(http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?p=7596058#post7596058)






(this ad space for sale)






Sponsors

Congratulations!

You've just won a
Playstation 3!!!

Click here to claim your prize.


(http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=11)



Stuff

Summon helpers

Spider
It's a trap!

Praying mantis
y r u prayign stoodid ther iz know gad!

Butterfly
You post a picture of yourself as a hot girl and 10,000
noobs rep you to say how hot you are.

Earthworm
Summon this noob so people will forget you and be
mean to it instead.

Yellow jacket
DONUT KILL TEH BEEZ!!!!!!!11
(use to make people feel remorse for flaming you)

Termite
Ruin threads.

Caterpillar
Post some f*cking cats!



Power Levels
Updated whenever the hell I feel like it.
.................................................. ..............................................To calculate your power level, you'll need to use four things:

Your reputation level
Your post count
Your length of time at this site
Algebra


First step:
Find your average rep per post.

Let A equal Average Rep Per Post.
A =..........Rep.....
..........Post Count

Round off the answer.

Second step:

If your membership < 1 year
A = Your power level.

If 1 year < your membership < 2 years
2A = Your power level.

If 2 years < your membership
An = Your power level, where n = number of years
(has to be an integer, rounded down)




If someone has a higher power level than you, you have to
do what they say or become their b*tch! :O



Duh'venger
503,756,397,099
(Over half a Trillion!!!)


Vegetas pink shirt
8,303,765,625
(In the Billions!)


Ants!
60,466,176
(In the Millions)

~Lightning~
85,184

Rep Fairy
44,944

Michael.
42,875

The_Mess
12,167

Shane
5,832

Sekhmet
4,096

Mr. MP3
316

Dr.Cox
38

Blue Phoenix
1



Bulletin board:

Employed members:
Ants! (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=50215) (Pink)
Joe Mamma (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=212456) (Green)
brown stain (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=225222) (Green)
Old Man Jenkins (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=228506) (Green)
Sexy Smurf (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=230774) / Sexy Smuɾf (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=232917) (Pink)
Toku geisha (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=238624) (Green)
Koulrophobia (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=238656) (Pink)
Dr.Cox (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=209663) (Pink)
Captain Ginyu (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=235906) (Pink)

Unemployed bums:
Asslicker (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=209592)
masturbatamune (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=235602) (Don't bother hiring, he won't join)
Pee Jay (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=235427)
Banana Hammock (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=238298)
SindarKng (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=238657)
NoldorKng (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=238658)
The_Mess (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=131871)
Rep Fairy (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=198542) (be gentle with her)
Sekhmet (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=29682)
Blue Phoenix (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=194402)
Michael. (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=158377) (he will go down with the ship)
Shane (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=157586)
~Lightning~ (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=155271) (has pirate ambitions)
Mr. MP3 (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=228532)
zombiekiller33 (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=232385)
SSJ2 Vegeta (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/member.php?u=39281)

Resume box:Captain Ginyu
Address: Outer Space, north quadrant.
Scouter phone number: 800555CGNY
Past experience: Henchman, Leader of the Ginyu Force, Choreographer.
Special Talents: STYLE!, leadership skills, and can sit through nine hours of Dragon Ball Z without a bathroom break.
Super Powers: 120,000 power level, body snatcher, once almost switched bodies with VPS (which would have been hot).
Desired occupation: Any thing involving dancing and killing the weak.








Quote of the week:

Duh'venger doesn't celebrate Christmas. Something about Jesus.
-Duh'venger

November newsletter

Old business:
None.

New business:
Our Halloween party (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=550453) was a bust. Only a handful of people even showed up >:[

Breaking news:
None.

Newsletter archive (http://h1.ripway.com/NoldorKng/Ants!MercenaryGuild-Newsarchive.rtf).

Calendar
(anyone can ask that something be marked on thecalender.
Birthdays, releases, forum events or remembrances, whatever.)

November





Op-ed section/suggestion box
(dump into fireplace when the room gets cold)

Any member can submit an op-ed piece about ANYTHING.
Unless its a rant against the forum rules or mod decisions.
If that's the case, do not post it here but if you post one
where it is appropriate then you can submit a link to it.Ants!: Fire Emblem > Final Fantasy Tactics.

Rant topic (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=549372)
Recommended posts:
Vicious! hates most anime
Ants! hates name-change whores
Addix hates the news
VPS hates her day
Benzine hates people who ninja his cake
Nightrogue and VPS hate their jobs

[Ants!]

Finally we have some work and can get off this welfare!

Duh'Venger wishes all of you bums to find and rep posts made by Aphrodite every chance you get! Those who don't work, don't eat either. Soup kitchen is closed, people!

[Duh'venger]

ATTENTION: THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SOMETHING TO BRAY!

Aphrodite herself cautioned Duh'venger when he wrote a similar post exhorting people to rep Ants!

This may come back to bite us you. :hmm:


THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SPEWED!
:guns:Klowny:smash: :cletus:

[Ants!]

That's why I pointed the finger at you! :paranoid:

I'll update the first post at a time when I'm less inebriated.

[SSJ2 Vegeta]

So like, *joins*.

My power level is 823,543. Already calculated.

[The Eye in the Sky!]

Hehe, split. (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=554072)

[Vegetas pink shirt]

Update my powe level please m'dear :kiss:

[Ants!]

When I'm less inebriated, which will be tomorrow. And by then I'll probably say when my head stops feeling like Thor is wailing on it with his hammer.

[Ants!]

Added SSJ2 Vegeta to the unemployed bums. Also added lowercase usernames non-anonymous to our affiliate clans against their will. Will update other stuff after some time in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber.

[SSJ2 Vegeta]

Oh, hey, before I forget, I've been confused about something. Ants!, are you the same Ant who practically help start up Shinra when it first came out with the username "Ant"?

[Ants!]

The only Shinra I know if is from Final Fantasy VII. I deny all charges of causing global warming to create materia and power mako reactors for big cannons :paranoid:

[SSJ2 Vegeta]

Oh, then you're a different Ant then. =(

[krillin six dots]

I honestly do not know how I found this. It was like the window just opened itsself!

[Ants!]

That's the new pop-up feature I installed in this clan, in order to infect the computers of other GameWinners members. It's necessary if we're going to take over gamewinners the internet the world.

[Blue Phoenix]

Yeah, checking in to say I'm back... Not that I ever post here anyway...

[~Lightning~]

Christmas again? But it's only been a week since I sh*t in a box and gave it to my neighbour...

Watch this space, I may write a resume soon.

[Duh'venger]

ATTENTION: THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SOMETHING TO BRAY!

Duh'venger will soon need some expendable lackeys to play a small part in his criminal activities during this holiday season. Experienced scapegoats will be given special consideration.


THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SPEWED!
:guns:Klowny:smash: :cletus:

\***\__/***/
|__~DPS~__|
|******|
|______|

[SSJ2 Vegeta]

ATTENTION: THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SOMETHING TO BRAY!

Duh'venger will soon need some expendable lackeys to play a small part in his criminal activities during this holiday season. Experienced scapegoats will be given special consideration.


THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SPEWED!
:guns:Klowny:smash: :cletus:

\***\__/***/
|__~DPS~__|
|******|
|______|

I'll partake.

[Ants!]

We're all starved here, we've been out of work for so long. The spiders use our pantry more than we do now.

We're so desperate for work we've even lowered our standards! Thank goodness for Duh'Vengers timing.

[Vegetas pink shirt]

I'll partake.


Your quoting of Duhs sig disgusts me.

[SSJ2 Vegeta]

Your quoting of Duhs sig disgusts me.

It was above the quote line so it got quoted in. =(

[Klowny]

Duh'venger doesn't like to see his format quoted either.

I don't know how Avenger felt about it, but I never quoted his format. In a quote, it's quite superfluous.

[Vegetas pink shirt]

Watch Klown deeppink my post now as he quotes me :D

OOH too many xmas parties and all the wine goes to my head.

[Ants!]

I'm glad to now be armed with the knowledge of what Duh'Venger does not like for us to do. This may come in handy later on.

[krillin six dots]

Duh'venger doesn't like to see his format quoted either.

I don't know how Avenger felt about it, but I never quoted his format. In a quote, it's quite superfluous.

Well boo hoo

Who cares. Darn shame about the sig tbh.

[Duh'venger]

ATTENTION: THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SOMETHING TO BRAY!

Duh'venger has to admit that this otherwise silly clan has the funniest first post he has read in some time.

*admits this clan has the funniest first post Duh'venger has read in some time*


THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SPEWED!
:guns:Klowny:smash: :cletus:

[Ants!]

Bumping to be on the safe side of the purge. Also to remind everyone to get their last look at our fallen Happy Happy Hug Hug Club because it will soon be gone. But I will leave the advertisement of it in the first post as a memorial plaque to its memory forever!

One more thing: I have it on good authority that two more clans will soon be forced coerced black mailed persuaded to ally themselves in our conglomerate of allied clans.

Uh...I mean two new employers.

[Vegetas pink shirt]

:hug:

You will be sorely missed.

:hug:

And how am I supposed to monopolise the current job market if you keep adding employers eh?

[Ants!]

Competition is inevitable in capitalist societies, you have to out-compete them! And it will help to stop being so stingy with those benetits :love:

[Klowny]

I suppose I ought to bring the Busy Server Message Posse over to the survival side of the purge.

[Vegetas pink shirt]

Without a decent competing clan or even a recruitment agency that updates I'm not sure the benetits are really necessary. :whatever:

[Duh'venger]

ATTENTION: THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SOMETHING TO BRAY!

Duh'venger was not even aware of the existence of a Happy Happy Hug Hug Club.

Had he but known, Duh'venger would have raided it for cannon fodder during his ill-advised hostilities with the DeepPinkPeople.


THE NOT-SO-HOT DUH'VENGER HAS SPEWED!
:guns:Klowny:smash: :cletus:

[Ants!]

Bumped again to make sure it still clears the belated purge, since I'm not sure what the minimum date is anymore. And I'll get back to keeping this place active someday, I swear!


No really.