a poem for the abused

[Panzer]

please comment

Abused

The world of innocence is gone
The world of crime and punishment is donned
And the kids who used played friendly games
Are all in juvi or enrolled in gangs

The last time I saw a friendly face
It was in a dream of heaven’s embrace.
And these words I speak, I hope, relate to some,
Like the beaten, the fallen, the bullied, the wronged.

But please do not take your life because that means
That they won
And be reminded your not the only one.

Whither it a boy or a man abuse is abuse
Stand up, speak out, let your words loose
And maybe they can help someone who was used

Just have meaning in the words you choose.

By gods kiss
And by his face
I hope I hope
Tonight
I
Am
safe

[Victoria]

First thing I thought after reading it was "maybe I should google random lines to see if the guy ripped it off somewhere". If that doesn't denote the poem being good, I don't know what does.

[Sutternalt]

First thing I thought after reading it was "maybe I should google random lines to see if the guy ripped it off somewhere". If that doesn't denote the poem being good, I don't know what does.
Oh wow, I've got to put that in my sig.

Anyway, to the poem.

I... uh... geez. Just- uh, wow. That has a really good message told in a really good way. And that's about all I can say on that.

The message, as I see it is:
1) Don't give up. Ever.
2) It is important to tell of our experiences, because it will mean something to someone somewhere.
3) God is safety.

[Victoria]

Oh wow, I've got to put that in my sig.

Anyway, to the poem.

I... uh... geez. Just- uh, wow. That has a really good message told in a really good way. And that's about all I can say on that.

The message, as I see it is:
1) Don't give up. Ever.
2) It is important to tell of our experiences, because it will mean something to someone somewhere.
3) God is safety.
I do not post in blue times new roman and it wasn't even directed at something you wrote...

[Tome]

Misquoted ftw?

I'm going to point out the grammar mistakes, since no one else will.

"And be reminded your not the only one"
"Your" should be "you're."

"Whither it a boy or a man abuse is abuse"
"Whither" should be "whether." I might also throw in a comma after "man."

By gods kiss
And by his face
By God's Kiss
And by His Face

Good poem, my friend. Fantastic.

[Panzer]

lol thx for the comments. I had to jot this down in Live teens meetings (church group) we had to make a poem on people and something to that happens to ppl, and how god can save them.


i already had most of it written from regualar L.A. so i just added the "by god" stanzas. cheesy little poem but i liked to share it