New Author would appreciate some feedback

[MJohnH]

Hi everyone,

I’m very happy to say that I’ve just had my debut novel The Magic Lands published and would love to swap thoughts and opinions on what makes a compelling read. With this in mind, what do you think attracts a potential reader? Would it be the front cover or is it more likely to be on the strength of the synopsis? Just how important is the cover art and what really determines our decision to invest the time to actually sit down and read a book? As a new author, I feel these questions are very important, so any insights you can give will be greatly appreciated. It may help me not to make the same mistakes if I ever get around to writing another one! :)

[Singin Hobo]

Just based on the synopsis and the short description I'm taking it that it's an urban fantasy and I'm a fan of the fantasy genre, though I've never read anything that could be classified as an 'urban fantasy.'

The #1 reason I will pick up a new author or series or book is a recommendation from more than one source, and not a review... it's gotta be people I talk to or even people on a site like this are good enough if I "know" them.

The thing I like about fantasy is, obviously, the mythology. I'll be perfectly honest, the title "The Magic Lands" doesn't scream a depth of story. Not to say that the story might not have great depth, but it doesn't really invite me to find out what that means or ask myself what the story is behind it. If the mythical adventure happens in "The Magic Lands" do all of the names and back-stories and histories sound so lame in the rest of the book? The title is the first thing that strikes me.

The cover is important. Obviously you want it to be representative of the story, but I enjoy a cover that is ripped straight from a few pages in the book and shows an event from the story, and not one that just kinda gives a generic overall feel of the book. That's just what I like about covers, though... my favorite series has pretty crappy art on the covers (that's the Wheel of Time), but I still obviously pick 'em up.

[MJohnH]

Thanks for your reply. I agree about the cover. And personally I think the synopsis is the most important thing. If you're interested there's a link in my profile with my own synopsis. Feedback on that would be very useful.

[Olga]

I bought some books I went on to love based on the covers, such as Pratchett's Discworld novels, back when Josh Kirby did the covers.
Basically, I see a cover I like, and then read the synopsis. So while the synopsis tends to be the dealbreaker, the art needs to capture my attention to want to know more about it in the first place.

That said, I rarely go book-shopping nowadays, and when I do, I tend to have something in mind already.

[Northern Lights]

Has it been published in UK?

[Bandicoot]

You're saying "Urban Fantasy". I'm just trying to get a feel for what you mean. I'm picturing something like The War of the Flowers by Tad Williams, which has a dark fantasy parallel world, with events in both worlds. Right idea? if so that and Clive Barker (Imajica) might provide inspiration.

As for covers, well they sometimes play a part only in defining the genre. I've seen a few books that have caught my eye and gone on to read the synopsis. I'm more often caught by the author or the cover. I could suggest going into your local bookstore and checking out various covers.

[Northern Lights]

Got any illustrations of what your characters look like?

[MJohnH]

Got any illustrations of what your characters look like?
Hi again. Thanks for all of the helpful feedback. There's a link in my profile that will show you the book cover, synopsis and a short excerpt. Yes, it is available in the UK. Obviously, it would be enormously useful to get some constructive feeback on the above, so if anyone gets a chance please do check it out.

Thanks again!

[Northern Lights]

The cover reminds me of Narnia. The green and blue characters don’t look very good, I don’t think, but everything else is pretty tidy. Nice looking.

Is that synopsis going to go on the back of the book? I personally like rhetorical questions, but that is just my preference.

The extract itself looks really good, but one slight thing.

"What choice do we have," Jack argued

Should there not be a question mark after “have”? I could always be wrong, as I’m by no means an expert on grammar, but that is how I would have done it.

Sorry if I wasn’t very helpful, but if there’s anything else you want me to comment on then I can do.

[Bandicoot]

Ohhh. Available in the UK. What name is it published under?

[MJohnH]

Ohhh. Available in the UK. What name is it published under?
Hi Bandicoot. All of the details about the book are in my profile (just follow the link!). Thanks for taking an interest in my work. I really appreciate it :)

The cover reminds me of Narnia. The green and blue characters don’t look very good, I don’t think, but everything else is pretty tidy. Nice looking.

Is that synopsis going to go on the back of the book? I personally like rhetorical questions, but that is just my preference.

The extract itself looks really good, but one slight thing.

"What choice do we have," Jack argued

Should there not be a question mark after “have”? I could always be wrong, as I’m by no means an expert on grammar, but that is how I would have done it.

Sorry if I wasn’t very helpful, but if there’s anything else you want me to comment on then I can do.

Thanks for all of your comments. My intention was that Jack was stating it rather than asking it. It's great that you took the time to read it and thanks again for the encouragement and suggestions.

[Victoria]

I gotta agree, the two characters in the red and blue on the cover look horrible, especially compared to the other 2, who look realistic. The wolf looks more like a polar bear as well. But as far as the actual writing goes, not much I can say about it.

[Northern Lights]

The page has gone down. It isn't working. :confused:

[MJohnH]

Hi,

I was messing about with the page. Hopefully it's back up and running now. Could you let me know if you can access it? Thanks!

[Victoria]

It works.

[Northern Lights]

Did you do the illustrations?

[MJohnH]

Did you do the illustrations?
No, it wasn't me! I think overall I'm happy with the cover (except the badger who should be much bigger), but next time (if I'm luck enough for there to be a next time!), I'll go for something slightly more adult. Although I still want to appeal to the 12 years and ups, I really want to attract adults too.

[Northern Lights]

It reminds me a bit of this (http://bluepyramid.org/ia/tltwatwcsl.jpg).

I think that Children would still buy it if you just changed the red and blue people to look better.

I think you need a better website to promote it.

[Foxwolf]

what attracts a reader is the name and back cover info. sadly that is what most people do.

[MJohnH]

Just to let anyone know who may be interested that I've added another excerpt from my book The Magic Lands at this link: hometown.aol.co.uk/markjo...ywork.html

As always, feedback would be very much appreciated :)

[Bandicoot]

You should have a look at myspace and set yourself up on the writer networking option. I occasionally find newly published authors promoting on there.

[MJohnH]

Just a quick update on my book for those whom have shown an interest. I've pasted in a review from Amazon US that I think gives a gives a good impression of what the book is really like.


'One might look at The Magic Lands and find the title a little generic, and the summary may be a little cliche, but if you were to pick it up you'll see that it is full of suprises. The story is quite a roller coaster and the plot can become utterly unpredictable. I should also mention, that this isn't little red riding hood. The story is dark, bringing up memories of another dark fantasy, Pan's Labrynth. Like Pan's Labrynth,and any good fable, there is an underlying message behind it all and it is a message definitely worth hearing'.

[MJohnH]

Just thought I would post a character breakdown from my book for anyone who is interested. As always feedback would be appreciated


Tom Lewis.
Jack Barton.
Two boys about to embark on a journey that will take them toward adulthood, a change embracing both enlightenment and loss. Two boys who will discover a place apart from the world we know, a realm where dreams and reality seem to interweave and deception is at the heart of everything.

Mo.
To the boys he is a badger, an animal. But one capable of speech, capable of far more than they suspect. To Tom and Jack he is a mentor, a guide, but as their journey unfolds, they will discover that he holds the key to many mysteries and keeps hidden from them many secrets.

The White Wolf.
A beast, a cruel adversary. But one with a purpose. One who delights in the darkness. One who enjoys the deadliest of games where life and death are but the smallest of wagers.

Dredger.
A warrior from the past, held in limbo for so long his mind may well have become unhinged. A man who holds duty above all things, but who carries a darkness within his soul that may be not only his own undoing, but also bring down those who he has sworn to protect.

Lisa.
The girl of Tom’s dreams. Or his nightmares. Enigmatic, innocent and yet sensual. A mystery.

Ira.
An old man who has travelled further than can be possibly imagined. A man who must send his only son on a quest that may very well lead to death, or perhaps things far worse than death.

Geheimnis.
A man who wears a mask. An enemy or an ally? A dangerous man, if indeed a man he is.

A disparate band brought together to find a solution to a question asked at the dawn of time. To find a reason for both the darkness and the light. To find hope. But also to pay the price.

[Olga]

If this book gets a release wide enough to make it abroad, let me know. I review stuff for a newspaper here.