The Comedy Club!

[The Flame]

:clap::chuckle:The Comedy Club!:rotfl::duck:

In this club we: Share jokes, Talk about stand-up, or anything else funny. If you find something online that you wanna share, please do, but it must be appropriate for the forums. If it isn't, just PM me. Even funny scenes from TV. Even stupid jokes you've heard 2 years ago in school. A lot of it may tend to focus on Comedy Central, but don't talk too much about the subjects that already have a clan...instead, talk about Mind of Mencia or Chappelle Show, etc. I do have a South Park clan too. If you'd like me to revive it, just ask.

Teh Join Rules:
1. Tell a joke
2. Have 200 posts.
3.(optional)Do you like any comedians in particular?

Leaders
The Flame
Angel

Under Consideration to be Leaders
NONE

Members
Torturous Flame
Staind
Achilles
The_Arbiter
Caboose.
pencil thief

Teh Non-Join Rules:

NO S.P.A.M.: Stupid, Pointless, Annoying, Messages. It's OK to stray off topic a little, but don't overdo it.

NO FLAMING/TROLLING: Don't p!ss people off. One Flame means you're gone for a week. One troll means I'm keeping an eye on you.

NO CENSOR BYPASSING: Use the following characters instead of the vowels when cussing: !@#$%^&*()
I personally don't care, but the mods do.

News
Now Hiring Leaders. Leaders must have at least 400 posts. Volunteer in your joining post.

The Comedy Files!(insert Krusty the Clown laugh here)
1. Fat Guy Sings 'Numa Numa' Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8xvK-tD8Jg)
2. 2 Guys Singing a 'Spice Girls' Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jQ-QDzyhpo)
3. Carlos Mencia: 'Mind of Mencia' (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Mind+of+Mencia)
4. Jim Gaffigan (I like the 'Hot Pockets' one.) (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Jim+Gaffigan)
5. Dave Chappelle: Chappelle's Show (check out the Lil John one) (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Chappelle%27s+Show)
6. Christopher Titus(fave of Angel) (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Christopher+Titus)
7. Larry the Cable Guy (one of the best comics IMO) (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Larry+the+Cable+Guy)
8. America's Funniest Videos (the cat one is funny) (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=AFV)
9. Jeff Dunham(that puppet guy) (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Jeff+Dunham)

Commercials
Yes, they're always good for a quick laugh, add some of your favorites to the list.
1. McNuggets Rap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSZ6k3QIsAk)
2. Snickers Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hvsI6dKQj8[/URL)
3. Snickers Dark Bar (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEYEFfAbB5g)
4. All Hot Pockets Dojos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO55ZXoUbUo)
5. Random Funny Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6Cuq-BueEs)
6. Arby's Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDJGjPMR0zo)
7. Wendy's Tree Kickers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VilgP2UtsI)
8. Hillshire Farms Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HETAnq5s58g)

[Angel]

1. Can I use my own Here's Your Sign Joke?

I walked into my school the other day and my locker door was stuck so I was trying to open it. This annoying girl comes over and goes "Locker Stuck?". *slaps head* I go "Nope, just like rattles."

3. Any commedian on CC.

[The Flame]

Yep, thanx for joining. I like Carlos Mencia and Jim Gaffigan. I also enjoy watching anyone that was on Last Comic Standing.

[Angel]

News
Now Hiring Leaders. Leaders must have at least 400 posts. Volunteer in your joining post.

Damn, I missed it. Volunteering!

[The Flame]

Yeah, I'll edit the first post right now. And I'm sure you are well aware I can take away a leadership anytime.

[Angel]

Yes, I know. Maybe we can start up a quiz later.

[Torturous Flame]

YO!!! WHATS THE HAPS YA'LL??

Just kidding, hey Angel.


Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.

Mexicans were crazy about the stuff.

The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today.

It is known, of course, as ...Sinko de Mayo

and another for good measure.

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."



dont have a favorite comedian.

[The Flame]

Yes, I know. Maybe we can start up a quiz later.

Not sure what the questions would be...but Torturous Flame is also added.

[Torturous Flame]

YAY ME!!!! I'M ADDED!!!

So anywho whatcha people talking about? A quiz? bout what?

[Cyanide]

I'll join, favorite comic, Jim Gaffigan. He the best, anyway I'll post a joke later

[The Flame]

I'll join, favorite comic, Jim Gaffigan. He the best, anyway I'll post a joke later

Staind.....[-JOINED!-]

BTW, did anyone watch that "magician" comic on comedy central last weekend? That was funny as :devil:.

[Angel]

Missed it. I now know my favorite comedian. Christopher Titus. He is so f*cking awesome!

[The Flame]

Really? Never heard of him. I'll do some Youtube research on him.

[Angel]

OMG. You didn't watch CC last night? "And I summed up my manhood from bottom to top and I screamed like a little girl 'I'm calling the cops!'"

[Saint!]

You fat piece of ****, where were all you when i made my clan called the Comedy Club awhile back? why back in my day it failed! miseralbly! no fair man, no fair.

However, kudos to you for making it work, and without further adeu, i request to join!

oh a joke....uhh
"What kind of cheese is not yours?"

"NACH-YO CHEESE"

[The Flame]

You fat piece of ****, where were all you when i made my clan called the Comedy Club awhile back? why back in my day it failed! miseralbly! no fair man, no fair.

However, kudos to you for making it work, and without further adeu, i request to join!

oh a joke....uhh
"What kind of cheese is not yours?"

"NACH-YO CHEESE"

Ahahahaha:whatever:.....sure you can join.

[Angel]

figure out who Christopher Titus is yet?

[The Flame]

figure out who Christopher Titus is yet?
Yeah, I've seen him before. I don't know how funny he is or not though. But if he's your favorite, then he must be funny. BTW, did anyone notice my sig? I figured I'd point it out in this clan.

[Angel]

Saw it, funny. Titus is awesome. Especially when he talks about his mental girlfriend and his mother killing her last husband. That was funny.

[The Flame]

HAHAHAHAHA! OK....eheaha..heh...heheh....Hee. "Fat guy singing the 'Numa numa' song" The link is right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8xvK-tD8Jg you might've already seen it from the ads on the top of the page, but this is classic. Also, I'm starting a Comedy Files Section on the first post.

[Saint!]

that originated from newgrounds, and my ****ty joke was a joke on its own, i found that on a popsicle stick.

[keith123]

you may not let me cuz of your 200 post thing but plz let me join buddy and ill help you out with what ever i can

[Angel]

[LEFT] Teh Join Rules:
1. Tell a joke
2. Have 200 posts.
3.(optional)Do you like any comedians in particular?


Does that mean anything to you?

[Saint!]

heyyy i never even read the last one, Demetri Martin i gotta say, he's great.

[The Flame]

Does that mean anything to you?

Not really, just adds an extra laugh, hopefully. BTW, If you guys have ideas for new additions to the Comedy Files, let me hear it.

[Torturous Flame]

YO ALL!

check it

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p205/sn8per/got_acne.jpg

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p240/Rita_cf20/thugly.jpg

http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p29/ginnydm1/file002.jpg

[Saint!]

heh, had a slight smile from me there.

Has anyone truly realized how sexual the crayola crayon color "Tickle me Pink" is?

[Cyanide]

heh heh, leave it up to crayola.

Anyone like Lewis Black? I heard he is doing comedy centrals year end thing but I've only seen him once before that

[The Flame]

heh heh, leave it up to crayola.

Anyone like Lewis Black? I heard he is doing comedy centrals year end thing but I've only seen him once before that

Want me to make a Comedy File on him?

[Angel]

Quiz time? If so here ya go. Oh, I remembered my other favorite. Jeff Dunham. Awesome guy with jalapeno on a stick and peanut.

1. Finish the phrase "And I summoned up my manhood from bottom to top and I ________ ____ a ______ girl '___ ______ the cops!'" -Christopher Titus, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding.

2. Which of Jeff Dunham's puppets are 'a woozle?'. Comedy Central Presents: Jeff Dunham

3. Who says 'Did you hear? Jesus rose from the dead! Quick, hide the eggs!'


Scoreboard:
1.
2.
3.

[The Flame]

Quiz time? If so here ya go. Oh, I remembered my other favorite. Jeff Dunham. Awesome guy with jalapeno on a stick and peanut.

1. Finish the phrase "And I summoned up my manhood from bottom to top and I ________ ____ a ______ girl '___ ______ the cops!'" -Christopher Titus, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding.

2. Which of Jeff Dunham's puppets are 'a woozle?'. Comedy Central Presents: Jeff Dunham

3. Who says 'Did you hear? Jesus rose from the dead! Quick, hide the eggs!'


Scoreboard:
1.
2.
3. 2. Peanut?

JD is one of my fave's too. I just couldn't think of the name. Best puppets from best to worst. Old guy(name?), Peanut, Jalapeno on a stick, retarded one(don't remember this one's name either), pimp(Pimp Daddy?).

[Angel]

2. Peanut?

Correct! :^:

1. Finish the phrase "And I summoned up my manhood from bottom to top and I ________ ____ a ______ girl '___ ______ the cops!'" -Christopher Titus, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding.

3. Who says 'Did you hear? Jesus rose from the dead! Quick, hide the eggs!'


Scoreboard:
1. Flaming Chao. (1)
2.
3.

My favorite puppets best to least: Peanut, Jalapeno on a stick, Old Guy Winston (I think that's his name), Bobby Joe (Or Billy Joe. One of the two.), then Pimp Daddy.

PD: You da ho.

JD: I am not a ho. I do what I do because I like it, not for the money.

PD: You da dumb ho.

[The Flame]

The old guys name is Walter, I just realized. Also, [-DUNHAM ADDED!-]...to the Comedy Files Section.

[Angel]

Walter Winston, I was close. "Welcome to Wal-Mart. Get your sh!t and get out!"

[The Flame]

Jeff: Is your wife havin' a good time?
Walter: She always has a good time.....p!sses me off!

Ah the classics!:chuckle:

[Angel]

Jeff: Did you two have a good time?

P: Yes.

J: No.

P: shut up!

Jeff: Did you or not?

P: yes.

J: No.

P: Shut up!

Jeff: What happened?

P: nothing!

J: He slammed my stick in the car door.

[Saint!]

isnt the third Carlos mencia?

[The Flame]

isnt the third Carlos mencia?
Yeah, why do you ask? Oh, wait, the quiz! not the C files.

[Angel]

yep! :^:

1. Finish the phrase "And I summoned up my manhood from bottom to top and I ________ ____ a ______ girl '___ ______ the cops!'" -Christopher Titus, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding.

2. Who were the last race to choose a person in the racial draft? -Chappelle's Show.

3. Who says "Is it PETsmart or PETSmart?". -Blue Collar Comedy Tour.


Scoreboard:
1. Flaming Chao (1)
1. Achilles (1)
3.

[The Flame]

3. I'm just guessing but is it the guy that isn't the following:

Larry the Cable Guy
Jeff Foxworthy
that guy that has "You Can't Fix Stupid".

[Angel]

Larry it is.

1. Finish the phrase "And I summoned up my manhood from bottom to top and I ________ ____ a ______ girl '___ ______ the cops!'" -Christopher Titus, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding.

2. Who were the last race to choose a person in the racial draft? -Chappelle's Show.

3. Who says "Is it PETsmart or PETSmart?". -Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
Larry the Cable Guy.


Scoreboard:
1. Flaming Chao (2)
1. Achilles (1)
3.

You can't fix stupid guy is Ron White, AKA Tater Salad.

[The Flame]

Then I got that last one wrong. I didn't guess Larry, I guessed the one that isn't Ron, Larry, or Jeff. Just couldn't remember his name.

[Saint!]

wow, i got no clue on these, but for the second one...mexicans?

[Angel]

FC, you guessed Larry as one of them. You got it.

No, not Mexicans.

There were:
Blacks, Whites, Latinos, Asians, and Jews.

[The Flame]

FC, you guessed Larry as one of them. You got it.
Whatever you say:shake:, but I'll take it anyway. :D

[Saint!]

uhh, Asians? haha its just a guessing game now...

[TheG427]

Hey, does anyone care if i use a commonly known You might be a redneck for my joke to see if I can join if you don't here it is: "If you get your nipple bitten off by a beaver, you just might be a redneck." and I do like a couple of comedians, though my favorite would have to be Jeff Foxworthy (I would have used a here's your sign joke, but I don't know of any that are kind of short).

[Saint!]

Well, my joke was worse, i was hard pressed and i found it on a popsicle stick..

[The Flame]

Hey, does anyone care if i use a commonly known You might be a redneck for my joke to see if I can join if you don't here it is: "If you get your nipple bitten off by a beaver, you just might be a redneck." and I do like a couple of comedians, though my favorite would have to be Jeff Foxworthy (I would have used a here's your sign joke, but I don't know of any that are kind of short).

Yeah, you can join. And the sad part is I cracked up at the words "popsicle stick", but not your join joke:chuckle:

[Angel]

Anyone know the answer?

[The Flame]

Well, I don't know the answer, but I feel like bringing this back to life, sooo...:bump: I know there's million's of funny stuff out there. If this is killed once again, I'll probably leave it dead.

[The Flame]

Commercials section added!

[Pencil Thief]

I'll join. OK, um, you've probably heard it but,

There are 2 muffins in an oven.

One muffin leans over to the other muffin and says:

"Boy its gettin hot in hear huh?"

And the other muffin says:

AAAAAHHHHHH! TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!

Favorite comedian: Dane Cook.

[The Flame]

lol....You're in.

[Wej]

well I want to join I will post a joke this weekend that will knock your socks off

[Pencil Thief]

Oh, yeah? Well I'm not wearing any socks. :p

Anyways, I thought I'd share a story.

OK, well it was last year at school, and it was near the end of the day. My teacher was making us clean up the class room and she saw a bunch of paper balls on the floor, so instead of saying "Pick up that paper." She said:

"C'mon, look at all this white trash on the floor!"

I don't know, maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious. :D

[The Flame]

heh. That would've been funny. I don't know about hilarious, but if everyone else was laughing, I'd probably be laughing too. :D

Anyone ever seen Dimitri Martin: Person. It's a special he had on Comedy Central once. He's kinda strange, and some people find it stupid, but you might like it. You also might wanna look for Gabriel Iglesias: Hot and Fluffy. Funny stuff there.

I'll add you wej444, you don't really need a joke. It's just that any laugh helps.

[Wej]

K so there are 3 men in a POW camp. The leader comes in to the torture room where the men are. He says "O.K. Americanos whatever your dad does for a living we will do to your dic*. The first man is jittery and scared. The camp leader says "So what does your dad do." THe American answers that his dad is a butcher so they cut it off. The next American is a little frightened, but thinks he has the upper hand. "So American what does your dad do. "I have no father and my mom doesn't work." Well does your mom have any hobbies. THe American says that she sows. They use a sowing machine on his dic*. The last man is smoking a cigarrete and looks like Joe Cool. So American what does your dad do. The man whips it out and says my dad was a tootsie roll taster now taste this.

lol

[The Flame]

heheheh...heheh...heh..hehahahHA.....heheheh...

That was a pretty good one, never heard that before.

[Wej]

I know I made it up. I am pretty funny

[The Flame]

I don't know if I believe you made it up, but okay. :D

[Wej]

Well I did also what do we have to do to become leader.

[The Flame]

Well, the Under Consideration heading won't stay here always. We only need maybe 1 or 2 more leaders here. Then I'll change it to something like Dedicated Members...Basically just advertise it, contribute to it by showing funny videos or pics, tell jokes, and be active. Pretty easy.

[Pencil Thief]

I don't know if you've seen Dane Cook's DVD Viscious Circle, but if you haven't you need to see it. Now.

[Wej]

Yea I saw it I don't really like him. I saw some underground comics a few days ago. One guy was ranting about the economy and he didn't know what the f*ck he was talking about... and that is why it was funny.

[Pencil Thief]

:mad:

I am angry with you. Dane Cook is awesome.

[Wej]

I said he was meh I think his sense of humor is kinda childish. I like political comics.

[Pencil Thief]

I like his sense of humor.

Meh, difference in opinion.

I don't have any semi-funny stories today, but does anyone else?

[Wej]

I heard a funny joke today, but I don't know what is acceptable here

[The Flame]

Well...anything that goes with the rules of GW. Meaning race and gay jokes aren't allowed.

[Wej]

sexual jokes are allowed?

[Pencil Thief]

I'd say so, as long as it isn't a homosexual slur.

[Wej]

K here is the joke

a woman was married 2 times and now she was married a third time and on her honeymoon.

So when they were in the bedroom she said to her husband to go easy because she was a virgin.

The husband asked how the hell she could be a virgin if she was married 2 times.

She said that her first husband was an archetect (spelling) he liked to draw the plans up for it, but never went through and her 2nd husband was a philosopher. He talked about it and assesed (spelling) it, but never really did anything.

So her husband asked what made her think she was gonna have sex now. Then she that he was a lawyer and this time she knew she was gonna get screwed.

kinda funny also I changed my name to Wej.