Dark Cadence
October 8th, 2006, 08:18 PM
After some random segment or match, we are taken backstage, where some random good-looking guy, wearing the entire “Abercrombie and Fitch” Men’s Department, is standing looking right in the camera.
“Random Good-Looking Guy”: I’m amazed at the ugliness of this place. What’s wrong with you people? Don’t you know how to get dressed? Do your hair? Moisturize your face? …Hell, do you people even know what Moisturizer is? I take it that silence means, “no.” How can you expect to be taken seriously when you can’t even dress as well as I do?
The “Random Good-Looking Guy” looks down, then back up at the camera.
“Random Good-Looking Guy”: I take that back. We all know none of you can dress as well as I. I mean, saying that any of you can dress as well as me, is like blasphemy. You don’t see me going around calling myself “God”, do you? Although, that statement could be very convincing. I mean my “godlike” figure, my amazing good looks, my sense of fashion, my perfect skin and complexion. And get this; I don’t even have to tan! If it wasn’t for the whole ‘Ruling over All Humanity’ thing, I would be God.
Anyways, tonight, I make my debut against some pseudo Ginger who goes by the name of “Roderick Brookes.” How sad is that? This guy isn’t even good enough to be a full on “Ginger”. I guess he got lucky, though. No freckles to worry about. Back to my point, Roderick Brookes is an ugly, no talented, and an emotionally disturbed human being. I mean, seriously, his hair is all over the place, and there’s not one ounce of hair gel anywhere to be seen. Not to mention the amount of liquor he must consume—he is Irish, right?
Tonight you will see a reformation of Pro Wrestling Warriors. Tonight you will see something completely different than the other two shows so far. Because tonight is the day where you see me compete. My name is Brett Stokes, and I am bringing taste back to wrestling.
With that, Brett Stokes walks away, as we go to our next segment or match.
“Random Good-Looking Guy”: I’m amazed at the ugliness of this place. What’s wrong with you people? Don’t you know how to get dressed? Do your hair? Moisturize your face? …Hell, do you people even know what Moisturizer is? I take it that silence means, “no.” How can you expect to be taken seriously when you can’t even dress as well as I do?
The “Random Good-Looking Guy” looks down, then back up at the camera.
“Random Good-Looking Guy”: I take that back. We all know none of you can dress as well as I. I mean, saying that any of you can dress as well as me, is like blasphemy. You don’t see me going around calling myself “God”, do you? Although, that statement could be very convincing. I mean my “godlike” figure, my amazing good looks, my sense of fashion, my perfect skin and complexion. And get this; I don’t even have to tan! If it wasn’t for the whole ‘Ruling over All Humanity’ thing, I would be God.
Anyways, tonight, I make my debut against some pseudo Ginger who goes by the name of “Roderick Brookes.” How sad is that? This guy isn’t even good enough to be a full on “Ginger”. I guess he got lucky, though. No freckles to worry about. Back to my point, Roderick Brookes is an ugly, no talented, and an emotionally disturbed human being. I mean, seriously, his hair is all over the place, and there’s not one ounce of hair gel anywhere to be seen. Not to mention the amount of liquor he must consume—he is Irish, right?
Tonight you will see a reformation of Pro Wrestling Warriors. Tonight you will see something completely different than the other two shows so far. Because tonight is the day where you see me compete. My name is Brett Stokes, and I am bringing taste back to wrestling.
With that, Brett Stokes walks away, as we go to our next segment or match.