Dean
September 28th, 2006, 02:05 PM
PWWInsider
An introductory video, full of great moments in wrestling, like Komodo beating Misfit in a humiliating fashion for the HCW Championship, Titan breaking Daniel Shine’s arm to cause him to forfeit the HCW Title, and of course, any Mikster promo, plays with some jazzy music in the background. We’re eventually brought to a news desk with Scott the Scoop, who is busy, pushing some button to play canned cheering and applaud. He nods, acknowledging the nonexistent crowd, before speaking.
Scott The Scoop:
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for purchasing this DVD – PWWInsider is guaranteed to bring you the real “scoop” behind Pro Wrestling Warriors, other wrestling promotions, and the wrestling world in general.
Some generic music plays as Scott the Scoop adjusts himself and proceeds.
Scott The Scoop:
In Pro Wrestling Warriors news, “Revival”, its debut event in the Pennsylvania National Guard Armory in downtown Philadelphia housed over 1400 fans; it was a grand opening night, and ticket sales of over $15000 were made. The DVD of the event, packed with bonus footage from backstage, extra interviews, and a special dance video with Xavier Crawford and Erica O’Day goes on sale Monday, October 16th, at the Pro Wrestling Warriors’ website.
It appears that Xavier Crawford suffered an injury at the show; which is perfectly understandable, as I can imagine the laborious effort put forth by Crawford in attempts to make Lil Finga look good. Well… it was a good try, Xavier. We wish you a speedy, healthy recovery and a quick return here to PWW.
Speaking of no talented hacks, after one match in PWW, John Black decided to leave the promotion. It appears he can’t take the stiff, European style of Roderick Brookes, and is p*ssying out. I can’t say I’m shocked. It takes a real man to compete in the PWW ring, and frankly, you didn’t match up, kid.
“The Future Is Now” has sold over 1800 tickets, far surpassing “Revival” in expected ticket sales. The card is stacked from top to bottom, featuring the much anticipated debuts of Rob Cavallo, Blake Straker, Kenzo Katana, and much, much more. Seth Frost and Drake Vinaldi go head to head in a two out of three falls contest.
Head booker James Simpson has many surprises planned for PWW, including big name debuts, rising talent opportunities, and new, exciting match opportunities. The backstage environment of Pro Wrestling Warriors is a utopian society, nothing short of wrestling paradise, and the wrestlers are excited to be a part of such an exciting product.
Many feel Tyler Hart and Roderick Brookes are two of the premier homegrown PWW talents who will be moving up the ranks in the very near future. With impressive debuts at Revival, both men are prepared for a long, prosperous career in the professional wrestling industry.
Ashigaru is going under a series of changes, as he prepares the long, arduous task of converting to KANSHI, the arrogant warrior who is willing to lay it all on the line for a taste of victory. Many expect this laborious, sluggish process to take nearly 72 hours! Yikes!
In Hybrid Championship Wrestling news, it appears as though the environment backstage isn’t what it once was; many wrestlers are leaving the company for ventures elsewhere. Blaine Williams has guaranteed success in these tepid times, but it seems as though a full overhaul would be required to turn the Titanic of HCW into a conquering cruiser of competition. Blaine Williams is rumored to be upset backstage, causing some ruffles in the feathers of his fellow HCW executives. Many reports are afoot of a new wrestling promotion replacing HCW very soon, with a focus on sports-entertainment rather than professional wrestling.
Lance Van Leer, the last recognized HCW Champion, has left the company in shambles with his announcement of pursuing a new career. Many expect a return from Lance Van Leer before 2007, but no predictions are safe with the hectic atmosphere of Hybrid Championship Wrestling.
Jack Colville, the Pure Champion, has also taken a leave of absence, due to personal issues. Rob Cavallo, the last recognized Lucharesu Champion, is currently contracted in Pro Wrestling Warriors. HCW regained possession of the Lucharesu Championship, but at what costs? The Lucharesu Division is lacking in competition and talent, and the whole ordeal has benefited Pro Wrestling Warriors by giving it national exposure through a multitude of media outlets.
In XGWF news, nothing is happening.
And now, for the featured presentation of PWWInsider, I bring you our first of what we hope to be many: a shoot interview. Tonight’s guest has traveled all over the world, wrestling in varying countries, gaining the respect and skill to become one of the true elite wrestlers in our business today. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Blake Straker.
Scott presses the canned cheering and applause buttons again, and Straker is revealed on a black seat, awaiting the first question…
Shootin’ With Straker
Scott The Scoop:
Thanks for taking time to sit down with us tonight, Blake. We're well aware of your busy schedule, so we'll try to keep things brief and move right into the first question.
Blake Straker:
My schedule is overrated these days. I spend most my time watching Seinfeld DVDs and Girls Gone Wild... and, um, meditating. And plotting. It's very fulfilling and I'll be glad to share all of the finer details with you here for a nominal fee. I'm getting paid, right?
Scott The Scoop:
Well, if by paid you mean watched by over a dozen hidden cameras when you leave this room to make sure you don't steal any of our merchandise - ha ha ha, just kidding. All right, first question:
It's no secret you've had your share of problems with authority in the past. I've heard you've been heckled quite a few times for rowdy behavior, inappropriate humor, attitude, and the usual run of the mill things guys with your money get into - What would you say is the most embarrassing incident you've had in your career, and what was your punishment for it?
Blake Straker:
To address your previous statement about merchandise, it's all mine, anyway, so most of it I've already got. Then again, I can make a killing doing back alley dea- uhm, I mean; you can find all of my wonderful merchandise at www.cafepress.com/ProWW. And, yes, I was a bit of a wild child when I broke into this business. I'd have to say the most embarrassing moment I had was back when I first started touring with HCW. Like, before I even had a contract and doing the job to guys like Matt Shady and Cal Cannon. Basically, we were down in Georgia and I was ****ing piss drunk but still went out. I threw up all over some chick’s tits in the front row and was dragged out by security. I lost my contract until I completed a mandatory rehab.
Scott The Scoop:
Wow, it sounds like you had a blast in HCW... but things didn't remain that way. No, it seemed like your free spirit was suddenly chained to the dreaded locks of no pushes, no titles, and most importantly, no sense. What would you say was the main factor that contributed to the relationship between yourself and HCW going sour?
Blake Straker:
Well, you see, I basically had to stay stoned and drunk while in HCW. And, you know, it wasn't bad enough that the front office is so distant and unaware of what's going on in the lockerroom and the fanbase, they basically had you contractually bound to not be able to say anything about what was going on.
I remember this one time Double H had just come back to do a special match or something. A lot of the old timers like Komodo and the road agents working at the time, which I think Shawn Walsh might have been there that night and stuff... yeah... I got harassed, I know that, and I don't really want to talk about it, but I heard about an incident that really… I can't get out of my mind.
I think Tai Otaku lubed up his fingers with some soap and actually stuck them up AJ Cross' ******* or something. It was disgusting and I went to the office and Ai Murasaki basically informed me that if word got out about this while I was under HCW contract then I would be breaching my agreement and facing hard time and be a black ball in this business from here on out. Needless to say, most of her threats were fruitless at best... unlike her ovaries...
Scott The Scoop:
Speaking of Ai Murasaki, it's been rumored for some time that the two fo you had a relationship that far exceeded "just a business relationship." Can you shed some light on that hot topic for those who are interested in such personal issues?
Blake Straker:
She gets wet for bad boys. I wasn't the first one she messed around with, but I'm the one that counted. That's another reason things went sour in HCW. It's also a reason why me and Darius (Falcon) aren't on too good of terms anymore. They had apparently had a thing going, but that all changed one night in Phoenix... oh, she went well above even the "Hadesphere", as I liked to call it.
But yeah, that built up some resentment towards me in the locker room and put a lot of pressure on me and, yeah, I'm not going to go too much farther into that.
Scott The Scoop:
Understandable... Excuse me while I vomit in this bag.
Alright, now for some more recent topics - You've gone through some noticeable changes since you've shown your face in PWW. But for the longest time, it seemed that you fell off the earth - you disappeared from the face of the planet. What did you do for the months and months when you weren't wrestling?
Blake Straker:
I went to Thailand, actually, and gambled a lot. I had a near death experience, though, that changed my life forever. I was supposed to work some dates in Japan, actually, in a comedy promotion they have there. I was really low on cash and was going to wrestle in a bear suit. Anyway, I was clinically dead for a minute and ten seconds after overdosing on komodo dragon venom.
After that, I took a break and packed my **** and moved to Los Angeles.
I've taken up yoga and I'm working as a creative consultant for a nightclub/fine-dining restaurant. Pro Wrestling Warriors gave me a call and it's just what I was looking for: A chance to change the public opinion of myself and my abilities and my passion for this sport.
Scott The Scoop:
Speaking of Pro Wrestling Warriors, the changes you've gone through since beginning in PWW have been nothing short of incredible. It seems that you've really reinvented yourself, but in the same time, it also seems like you're reconnecting with your true inner self. If you could say one thing about the "Lizard King" for fans to expect to see from you in the future, what would it be?
Blake Straker:
Well, if I had to say one thing, I'd say they should expect to see a change in my win/loss record. I'm very focused, I'm very clear, and I'm not so sure I can say the same for those around me. There is a lot of faux revolutionaries and visionaries and I think the people will be able to pick out who's real and who's not and make their way over to my cult of supporters.
Scott The Scoop:
Well, we at PWWInsider really appreciate you taking the time to sit down with us and express your opinions on the wrestling industry. For Blake Straker, this is Scott the Scoop, and you've just witnessed "Shootin' With Straker."
OOC: For those not in the loop, the know, or the circle of trust, PWWInsider is a pun on PWInsider, but still very different. It's actually a documentary-style wrestling DVD released monthly that talks about rumors in the biz and features a shoot interview with a wrestler.
And Joe wrote Straker's parts.
An introductory video, full of great moments in wrestling, like Komodo beating Misfit in a humiliating fashion for the HCW Championship, Titan breaking Daniel Shine’s arm to cause him to forfeit the HCW Title, and of course, any Mikster promo, plays with some jazzy music in the background. We’re eventually brought to a news desk with Scott the Scoop, who is busy, pushing some button to play canned cheering and applaud. He nods, acknowledging the nonexistent crowd, before speaking.
Scott The Scoop:
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for purchasing this DVD – PWWInsider is guaranteed to bring you the real “scoop” behind Pro Wrestling Warriors, other wrestling promotions, and the wrestling world in general.
Some generic music plays as Scott the Scoop adjusts himself and proceeds.
Scott The Scoop:
In Pro Wrestling Warriors news, “Revival”, its debut event in the Pennsylvania National Guard Armory in downtown Philadelphia housed over 1400 fans; it was a grand opening night, and ticket sales of over $15000 were made. The DVD of the event, packed with bonus footage from backstage, extra interviews, and a special dance video with Xavier Crawford and Erica O’Day goes on sale Monday, October 16th, at the Pro Wrestling Warriors’ website.
It appears that Xavier Crawford suffered an injury at the show; which is perfectly understandable, as I can imagine the laborious effort put forth by Crawford in attempts to make Lil Finga look good. Well… it was a good try, Xavier. We wish you a speedy, healthy recovery and a quick return here to PWW.
Speaking of no talented hacks, after one match in PWW, John Black decided to leave the promotion. It appears he can’t take the stiff, European style of Roderick Brookes, and is p*ssying out. I can’t say I’m shocked. It takes a real man to compete in the PWW ring, and frankly, you didn’t match up, kid.
“The Future Is Now” has sold over 1800 tickets, far surpassing “Revival” in expected ticket sales. The card is stacked from top to bottom, featuring the much anticipated debuts of Rob Cavallo, Blake Straker, Kenzo Katana, and much, much more. Seth Frost and Drake Vinaldi go head to head in a two out of three falls contest.
Head booker James Simpson has many surprises planned for PWW, including big name debuts, rising talent opportunities, and new, exciting match opportunities. The backstage environment of Pro Wrestling Warriors is a utopian society, nothing short of wrestling paradise, and the wrestlers are excited to be a part of such an exciting product.
Many feel Tyler Hart and Roderick Brookes are two of the premier homegrown PWW talents who will be moving up the ranks in the very near future. With impressive debuts at Revival, both men are prepared for a long, prosperous career in the professional wrestling industry.
Ashigaru is going under a series of changes, as he prepares the long, arduous task of converting to KANSHI, the arrogant warrior who is willing to lay it all on the line for a taste of victory. Many expect this laborious, sluggish process to take nearly 72 hours! Yikes!
In Hybrid Championship Wrestling news, it appears as though the environment backstage isn’t what it once was; many wrestlers are leaving the company for ventures elsewhere. Blaine Williams has guaranteed success in these tepid times, but it seems as though a full overhaul would be required to turn the Titanic of HCW into a conquering cruiser of competition. Blaine Williams is rumored to be upset backstage, causing some ruffles in the feathers of his fellow HCW executives. Many reports are afoot of a new wrestling promotion replacing HCW very soon, with a focus on sports-entertainment rather than professional wrestling.
Lance Van Leer, the last recognized HCW Champion, has left the company in shambles with his announcement of pursuing a new career. Many expect a return from Lance Van Leer before 2007, but no predictions are safe with the hectic atmosphere of Hybrid Championship Wrestling.
Jack Colville, the Pure Champion, has also taken a leave of absence, due to personal issues. Rob Cavallo, the last recognized Lucharesu Champion, is currently contracted in Pro Wrestling Warriors. HCW regained possession of the Lucharesu Championship, but at what costs? The Lucharesu Division is lacking in competition and talent, and the whole ordeal has benefited Pro Wrestling Warriors by giving it national exposure through a multitude of media outlets.
In XGWF news, nothing is happening.
And now, for the featured presentation of PWWInsider, I bring you our first of what we hope to be many: a shoot interview. Tonight’s guest has traveled all over the world, wrestling in varying countries, gaining the respect and skill to become one of the true elite wrestlers in our business today. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Blake Straker.
Scott presses the canned cheering and applause buttons again, and Straker is revealed on a black seat, awaiting the first question…
Shootin’ With Straker
Scott The Scoop:
Thanks for taking time to sit down with us tonight, Blake. We're well aware of your busy schedule, so we'll try to keep things brief and move right into the first question.
Blake Straker:
My schedule is overrated these days. I spend most my time watching Seinfeld DVDs and Girls Gone Wild... and, um, meditating. And plotting. It's very fulfilling and I'll be glad to share all of the finer details with you here for a nominal fee. I'm getting paid, right?
Scott The Scoop:
Well, if by paid you mean watched by over a dozen hidden cameras when you leave this room to make sure you don't steal any of our merchandise - ha ha ha, just kidding. All right, first question:
It's no secret you've had your share of problems with authority in the past. I've heard you've been heckled quite a few times for rowdy behavior, inappropriate humor, attitude, and the usual run of the mill things guys with your money get into - What would you say is the most embarrassing incident you've had in your career, and what was your punishment for it?
Blake Straker:
To address your previous statement about merchandise, it's all mine, anyway, so most of it I've already got. Then again, I can make a killing doing back alley dea- uhm, I mean; you can find all of my wonderful merchandise at www.cafepress.com/ProWW. And, yes, I was a bit of a wild child when I broke into this business. I'd have to say the most embarrassing moment I had was back when I first started touring with HCW. Like, before I even had a contract and doing the job to guys like Matt Shady and Cal Cannon. Basically, we were down in Georgia and I was ****ing piss drunk but still went out. I threw up all over some chick’s tits in the front row and was dragged out by security. I lost my contract until I completed a mandatory rehab.
Scott The Scoop:
Wow, it sounds like you had a blast in HCW... but things didn't remain that way. No, it seemed like your free spirit was suddenly chained to the dreaded locks of no pushes, no titles, and most importantly, no sense. What would you say was the main factor that contributed to the relationship between yourself and HCW going sour?
Blake Straker:
Well, you see, I basically had to stay stoned and drunk while in HCW. And, you know, it wasn't bad enough that the front office is so distant and unaware of what's going on in the lockerroom and the fanbase, they basically had you contractually bound to not be able to say anything about what was going on.
I remember this one time Double H had just come back to do a special match or something. A lot of the old timers like Komodo and the road agents working at the time, which I think Shawn Walsh might have been there that night and stuff... yeah... I got harassed, I know that, and I don't really want to talk about it, but I heard about an incident that really… I can't get out of my mind.
I think Tai Otaku lubed up his fingers with some soap and actually stuck them up AJ Cross' ******* or something. It was disgusting and I went to the office and Ai Murasaki basically informed me that if word got out about this while I was under HCW contract then I would be breaching my agreement and facing hard time and be a black ball in this business from here on out. Needless to say, most of her threats were fruitless at best... unlike her ovaries...
Scott The Scoop:
Speaking of Ai Murasaki, it's been rumored for some time that the two fo you had a relationship that far exceeded "just a business relationship." Can you shed some light on that hot topic for those who are interested in such personal issues?
Blake Straker:
She gets wet for bad boys. I wasn't the first one she messed around with, but I'm the one that counted. That's another reason things went sour in HCW. It's also a reason why me and Darius (Falcon) aren't on too good of terms anymore. They had apparently had a thing going, but that all changed one night in Phoenix... oh, she went well above even the "Hadesphere", as I liked to call it.
But yeah, that built up some resentment towards me in the locker room and put a lot of pressure on me and, yeah, I'm not going to go too much farther into that.
Scott The Scoop:
Understandable... Excuse me while I vomit in this bag.
Alright, now for some more recent topics - You've gone through some noticeable changes since you've shown your face in PWW. But for the longest time, it seemed that you fell off the earth - you disappeared from the face of the planet. What did you do for the months and months when you weren't wrestling?
Blake Straker:
I went to Thailand, actually, and gambled a lot. I had a near death experience, though, that changed my life forever. I was supposed to work some dates in Japan, actually, in a comedy promotion they have there. I was really low on cash and was going to wrestle in a bear suit. Anyway, I was clinically dead for a minute and ten seconds after overdosing on komodo dragon venom.
After that, I took a break and packed my **** and moved to Los Angeles.
I've taken up yoga and I'm working as a creative consultant for a nightclub/fine-dining restaurant. Pro Wrestling Warriors gave me a call and it's just what I was looking for: A chance to change the public opinion of myself and my abilities and my passion for this sport.
Scott The Scoop:
Speaking of Pro Wrestling Warriors, the changes you've gone through since beginning in PWW have been nothing short of incredible. It seems that you've really reinvented yourself, but in the same time, it also seems like you're reconnecting with your true inner self. If you could say one thing about the "Lizard King" for fans to expect to see from you in the future, what would it be?
Blake Straker:
Well, if I had to say one thing, I'd say they should expect to see a change in my win/loss record. I'm very focused, I'm very clear, and I'm not so sure I can say the same for those around me. There is a lot of faux revolutionaries and visionaries and I think the people will be able to pick out who's real and who's not and make their way over to my cult of supporters.
Scott The Scoop:
Well, we at PWWInsider really appreciate you taking the time to sit down with us and express your opinions on the wrestling industry. For Blake Straker, this is Scott the Scoop, and you've just witnessed "Shootin' With Straker."
OOC: For those not in the loop, the know, or the circle of trust, PWWInsider is a pun on PWInsider, but still very different. It's actually a documentary-style wrestling DVD released monthly that talks about rumors in the biz and features a shoot interview with a wrestler.
And Joe wrote Straker's parts.