Meathos
May 19th, 2006, 08:45 PM
Whoo, a sort of writing thing, eh? Less than blog, more than thoughts that stay in my head? Let's call this a sort of... Boredom reliever, and at it's absolute worst, a journal. Blogs suck. Diaries are for girls... I am a man.
Alright. First off, I'm Neil, not Meathos, Meat Hose, Meaty-Ho, Mentos, or any other clever name we all know you thought of yourself. I'm 16(oh no, I know what you're all thinking- 'Angst!'. No. I'm good), Canadian, and all that fun stuff(see sig for a blurry lightsaber pic of my beautiful self).
So, why make a journal thing? Well, for one, I'm single, so I don't have a whole lot to do when all my friends are out with their wives and such. Second, I'm bored at the moment. Oh, and I may have something interesting to say.
So, basically, my life's pretty... Basic, I suppose. I go to school, see friends, go home... Yeah. Pretty basic. But uninteresting? Well, I sure as sh!t hope not. Every day, something hilarious happens at some time or another. Every day, me and this one girl always awkwardly try to avoid eye contact(she wishes to enter my pantaloons, no doubt, and mine hers), and it makes for some... Weird events... I'll get into that later.
Before you read on, though. You have to know that Canada is different. Here, people often resort to their most basic primal instincts... Especially in Winter. yes, Winter deserves capitalization because it demands respect and erect nipples. Winter's a f*cking beast. It makes bitches out of even the biggest tanks of us.
In Winter, the smokers mentally sign a contract. It lasts only 8 months, and it consists of a small number of agreements. These seem to be-
1. Smokers are family. To deny a member of your family anything is a sin in any religion.(When someone asks for a light, everyone must light their matches or lighters and extend their arms to the person asking, as if to simulate a campfire to keep warm. Once the person has their light, all offers are revoked, because smokers have to look cool.)
2. Everyone is to stand in a masive horde, like penguins.
3. Worrying about being caught smoking illegal sh!t doesn't f*cking matter anymore...*shiver*
Now, I'm not a smoker by any means, but, that's just what I've observed. I also noticed that the smokers seem to be mighty dim. Smoking sharpens your senses, making things seem colder, while alcohol... Why, alcohol is your friend in Winter.
I asked a few of my smoker friends why they don't get hammered at lunch so they don't feel anything, and then go smoking. They just sort of looked at me, and said something along the lines of 'Pfft, that would just be stupid. Who'd get drunk? You'd just get caught the next class.'... Apparently, weed has no effect on people when smoked. Oh, and it's perfectly legal... Dumbasses.
There are lots of immigrants in Canada. Now, it's not a bad thing, but, it can be annoying. In such a multicultural society, one has to be careful about what one says... Saying something like "That black shirt does't look good on you" can get you 'snuffed, guy'. Yes, the gangster immigrants have a language all their own... Don't ask me to decipher that sh!t, it would take too long.
Speaking of languages, I noticed the other day that my school has like... 10 different dialects of English. There's English, Engrish, Araglish, Nerdlish, Jock-Speak, Skate-Speak, Gangsta', and Muslim. Yes, the religion seems to have it's own language. I came to that conclusion after seeing that 6 Muslims, all who came from different countries and spoke three different languages between the six of them, merged their languages into one Uberlanguage...
Strange, yes. A little on the racist side? Perhaps. It's all about opinion, though. I've grown up with multiculturalism, and I'm racial-blind, now. I meet someone, sure, I notice whether they're asian, black, mexican, or whatever, but, it doesn't matter. After a bit, it sort of dissapears. The only time someone gets 'snuffed' for racism is when they say something in a hateful way, or clearly state that they 'hate them damn '.
So, I appologize if anything I say seems offensive.
Things are way different up here than anywhere else, that's for sure. I know Canada's seen as the hockey playing, teeth missing, drunken homosexual lumberjack of the world... All I have to say is that it's anything but that. The Government tends to make Canada and her people seem nice and friendly, when in reality, Canada is nice and open to things like gay marriage, French culture... Canadians? We're the opposite. Most of us hate Quebec, and don't accept gays. Me? Gays can do what they want, just don't get me involved. The French? ...I'd rather not speak of [i]them. :P
Maybe it's just my little pocket of Canada, my school with it's one massive subculture where everyone gets along and racism isn't an issue, where gays are accepted and called gross if they make out in the halls, but still accepted... Maybe I'm different and my assumptions and rants don't represent all of Canada. But, hey, let's pretend it does.
So, every shcool's like mine. That means we all laugh our asses off at the American movies about teenage life and high school. When it's not a movie about different cliques at war, a bunch of cheerleaders, or some underdog kid trying to run for Prez., it's about some evil teacher and some massive test. Up here, there are no cliques. There are groups, like the Goths, the Skaters, the Punks, the GangStars... But, they tend to mix. No one judges anyone on how they dress, unless it's really, really flamboyantly homosexual, like something Elton John would rock. You know, the extremes.
This also means that being popular doesn't mean sh!t. And I have to say, it's completely true. The kids who think, or wish they were Californians, wishing they were living life like the kids from The OC, the ones who think they're God's gift to everything ever. EVAR. They're hated. A lot. They have their little groups and such, but, that's like 20 people out of 2000. Everyone else looks at them, with their American Eagle shirts that say 'California' in wavy writing, or see them wearing sandals and collared shirts when the sky is having an Austin Powers Piss, and thinks they're retarded. Honestly. No one wants to be like them, no one wants to be friends with them. Who wants to be friends with a bunch of drones who wish they were important, and who worry about how their hair looks while they have no real friends, just a bunch of people who look like them.
No, I don't say that out of envy. I'm a nerd in a few ways, yes. But, I'm no disgruntled, friendless nerd. I'm just a guy who likes Star Wars... A lot. :)
I found it interesting, though. People know me in the school. A lot of people do. They know me as Redpath, or Neil, or 'That guy with all the crazy-awesome t-shirts'. No one knows The OC kids' names. No one cares or likes them. All they do is clog up the halls with their big sunglasses and Hollister shirts. Bah!
So, my friends. We all get to school at 7:30 in the morning. School starts at 8. So, we sit there, in a glass tunnel connecting the main lobby place to the main hall of the school, and just f*ck around. For the first little bit, it was only the 10 of us. Now, half of our grade goes there. All we do is make fun of sh!t, and just be funny. We're so simple-minded with out comedy that it's something like Monty Python: If you don't get it, you need to go get hit by a big truck carrying bricks and sh!t.
Most of the time, the discussion is hockey, because most of the guys were on the same team, and we sucked a big one all year. It's funny. Oh, and the girls like to listen to our stories of bone-crushing hits that never happened quite as we tell them, or of our drunken adventures out at tournaments... But, recently, it's been about Lil' Jon.
His new song, 'Snap Yo' Fingers'... He doesn't say 'fingers'. He says 'bagels'. Not that funny? I know it isn't, but, seeing kids like Workman(kid acts like he's retarded and probably is. Has Ace Ventura hair, too.), Ben(little skinny-esque guy with a big head), and Latty(token black guy, looks like Lil' Bow Wow) dance and sing that sh!t... Ugh, you have to see it.
A lot of the time, we make fun of people that walk by. It's friendly chirping(hockey term- 'to make fun of'), but effective.
There's this one kid. A year younger than us. He's like 6'4", skinny, sorta blackish, but he has Rick James hair. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, 'f*ck yo couch', but it goes beyond that. This guy actually looks like Rick James. It's completely handicapped. I'm going to get a picture of that motherf*cker.
There's Dribblah. Dribblah is a acne-proned white kid... A sweaty white kid, skinny and like 6', who always wears basketball jerseys, and ALWAYS has a basketball, which he must dribble in the hall and pretend to dunk non-existant nets. It's against his Dribblah religion not to.
By the end of the year, we're going to beat the Hell out of that kid.
There's the Zombie King. It's mean, because this kid has some sort of disorder, and he's pretty nice, but, he looks like a zombie. No lies.
Aside from a bunch of random kids, and our friends and such, our school's pretty normal, I guess. I've talked to some other people who've come from places like North Bay and sh!t, and they say it's friggin' nuts. Like, everything is just... Funny. The people, teachers, building... The school's poorness. Yeah, public education in a 40 year old building... We are ghetto.
We're known as the ghetto school. Our hockey team, for example, doesn't even have matching jerseys. They all look the same, because the basic design's the same, purple shoulders, white body, gold stripes... But, the logos are all different, and the styles of numbers are all different. Then, we blast gangsterrap from the dressing room, when we're all white and hate that sh!t, just to freak the perfect little Christian kids the f*ck out. And, it works. Well.
My school life wasn't always so. Although, I now go to the complete inverse of my old elementary school.
Back in the day, the school was rich, but everything else about that place was evil. I swear, it was built in a day, and these teachers crawled out of Hell. I watched them. It was awesome.
The teachers were all new, they all hated kids... They were all douchebags. But, I can't blame them. My grade 7 class alone took out three teachers in half a year. They either quit, or were fired. Eventually, it got to 'if you get sent in the hall, you go to the office. If you go to the office, you get suspended'. So, depending on who you were, you could be suspended for dropping a pencil, like I was. But, if you were a girl, you could get away with kneeing a guy in the nuts, kicking him in the face, and attempting to sodomize him with a tree branch. I watched it all happen... It was like watching a squirrel about to get run over. You wanna be all "WATCH OUT FUZZY BUDDY!", but you want to see it get crushed, too. I felt like I'd let poor Nathan down when he was on the ground, writhing in pain. Poor bastard.
Besides the 'Justice for Some' polocy of the Canadian Public School System, there are a few other that have made me absolutely despise school and all that. This reason has also caused me to be quiet, shy, and very angry.
I have an older brother, who loves to kiss ass. He will suck anyone's ass if he'll get something out of it... Me, on the other hand. I will kill myself before I suck up to someone I hate, or like, or whatever. This caused me to be hated by all authority figures in school from the age of 7. So... 7 years of Hell while I'm developing a permanent personality, then, boom, High School. Needless to say, it's hindered me slightly.
See, because I'm so quiet, I have a lot of time to think while I'm not conversing with mindless idiots in the morning, or what have you. That means I think about people's motives and such. That means I don't trust many people. That means I send the wrong messages a lot, and take my time when it comes to things.
Recently, I took my time in telling a certain girl that I like her, a lot, simply because I thought she hated me. Turns out, she did like me, a lot, but thought I hated her. She went out, got a boyfriend. It was then that I decided to tell her everything that was on my mind.
Made for a complicated month.
Now, there's another girl exactly like me. It's scary. But, because we're both cautious and distrusting, we never talk. She's the one I was talking about with the eye contact and such... We often look at eachother, almost glare, then smirk, and look away. Then, we shyly each glance back and catch the other looking back. Man, it's focked lolers.
But, yes, more on my pathetic excuse for a love life later. Right now? It's time to listen to the new Chili Peppers CD...
Alright. First off, I'm Neil, not Meathos, Meat Hose, Meaty-Ho, Mentos, or any other clever name we all know you thought of yourself. I'm 16(oh no, I know what you're all thinking- 'Angst!'. No. I'm good), Canadian, and all that fun stuff(see sig for a blurry lightsaber pic of my beautiful self).
So, why make a journal thing? Well, for one, I'm single, so I don't have a whole lot to do when all my friends are out with their wives and such. Second, I'm bored at the moment. Oh, and I may have something interesting to say.
So, basically, my life's pretty... Basic, I suppose. I go to school, see friends, go home... Yeah. Pretty basic. But uninteresting? Well, I sure as sh!t hope not. Every day, something hilarious happens at some time or another. Every day, me and this one girl always awkwardly try to avoid eye contact(she wishes to enter my pantaloons, no doubt, and mine hers), and it makes for some... Weird events... I'll get into that later.
Before you read on, though. You have to know that Canada is different. Here, people often resort to their most basic primal instincts... Especially in Winter. yes, Winter deserves capitalization because it demands respect and erect nipples. Winter's a f*cking beast. It makes bitches out of even the biggest tanks of us.
In Winter, the smokers mentally sign a contract. It lasts only 8 months, and it consists of a small number of agreements. These seem to be-
1. Smokers are family. To deny a member of your family anything is a sin in any religion.(When someone asks for a light, everyone must light their matches or lighters and extend their arms to the person asking, as if to simulate a campfire to keep warm. Once the person has their light, all offers are revoked, because smokers have to look cool.)
2. Everyone is to stand in a masive horde, like penguins.
3. Worrying about being caught smoking illegal sh!t doesn't f*cking matter anymore...*shiver*
Now, I'm not a smoker by any means, but, that's just what I've observed. I also noticed that the smokers seem to be mighty dim. Smoking sharpens your senses, making things seem colder, while alcohol... Why, alcohol is your friend in Winter.
I asked a few of my smoker friends why they don't get hammered at lunch so they don't feel anything, and then go smoking. They just sort of looked at me, and said something along the lines of 'Pfft, that would just be stupid. Who'd get drunk? You'd just get caught the next class.'... Apparently, weed has no effect on people when smoked. Oh, and it's perfectly legal... Dumbasses.
There are lots of immigrants in Canada. Now, it's not a bad thing, but, it can be annoying. In such a multicultural society, one has to be careful about what one says... Saying something like "That black shirt does't look good on you" can get you 'snuffed, guy'. Yes, the gangster immigrants have a language all their own... Don't ask me to decipher that sh!t, it would take too long.
Speaking of languages, I noticed the other day that my school has like... 10 different dialects of English. There's English, Engrish, Araglish, Nerdlish, Jock-Speak, Skate-Speak, Gangsta', and Muslim. Yes, the religion seems to have it's own language. I came to that conclusion after seeing that 6 Muslims, all who came from different countries and spoke three different languages between the six of them, merged their languages into one Uberlanguage...
Strange, yes. A little on the racist side? Perhaps. It's all about opinion, though. I've grown up with multiculturalism, and I'm racial-blind, now. I meet someone, sure, I notice whether they're asian, black, mexican, or whatever, but, it doesn't matter. After a bit, it sort of dissapears. The only time someone gets 'snuffed' for racism is when they say something in a hateful way, or clearly state that they 'hate them damn '.
So, I appologize if anything I say seems offensive.
Things are way different up here than anywhere else, that's for sure. I know Canada's seen as the hockey playing, teeth missing, drunken homosexual lumberjack of the world... All I have to say is that it's anything but that. The Government tends to make Canada and her people seem nice and friendly, when in reality, Canada is nice and open to things like gay marriage, French culture... Canadians? We're the opposite. Most of us hate Quebec, and don't accept gays. Me? Gays can do what they want, just don't get me involved. The French? ...I'd rather not speak of [i]them. :P
Maybe it's just my little pocket of Canada, my school with it's one massive subculture where everyone gets along and racism isn't an issue, where gays are accepted and called gross if they make out in the halls, but still accepted... Maybe I'm different and my assumptions and rants don't represent all of Canada. But, hey, let's pretend it does.
So, every shcool's like mine. That means we all laugh our asses off at the American movies about teenage life and high school. When it's not a movie about different cliques at war, a bunch of cheerleaders, or some underdog kid trying to run for Prez., it's about some evil teacher and some massive test. Up here, there are no cliques. There are groups, like the Goths, the Skaters, the Punks, the GangStars... But, they tend to mix. No one judges anyone on how they dress, unless it's really, really flamboyantly homosexual, like something Elton John would rock. You know, the extremes.
This also means that being popular doesn't mean sh!t. And I have to say, it's completely true. The kids who think, or wish they were Californians, wishing they were living life like the kids from The OC, the ones who think they're God's gift to everything ever. EVAR. They're hated. A lot. They have their little groups and such, but, that's like 20 people out of 2000. Everyone else looks at them, with their American Eagle shirts that say 'California' in wavy writing, or see them wearing sandals and collared shirts when the sky is having an Austin Powers Piss, and thinks they're retarded. Honestly. No one wants to be like them, no one wants to be friends with them. Who wants to be friends with a bunch of drones who wish they were important, and who worry about how their hair looks while they have no real friends, just a bunch of people who look like them.
No, I don't say that out of envy. I'm a nerd in a few ways, yes. But, I'm no disgruntled, friendless nerd. I'm just a guy who likes Star Wars... A lot. :)
I found it interesting, though. People know me in the school. A lot of people do. They know me as Redpath, or Neil, or 'That guy with all the crazy-awesome t-shirts'. No one knows The OC kids' names. No one cares or likes them. All they do is clog up the halls with their big sunglasses and Hollister shirts. Bah!
So, my friends. We all get to school at 7:30 in the morning. School starts at 8. So, we sit there, in a glass tunnel connecting the main lobby place to the main hall of the school, and just f*ck around. For the first little bit, it was only the 10 of us. Now, half of our grade goes there. All we do is make fun of sh!t, and just be funny. We're so simple-minded with out comedy that it's something like Monty Python: If you don't get it, you need to go get hit by a big truck carrying bricks and sh!t.
Most of the time, the discussion is hockey, because most of the guys were on the same team, and we sucked a big one all year. It's funny. Oh, and the girls like to listen to our stories of bone-crushing hits that never happened quite as we tell them, or of our drunken adventures out at tournaments... But, recently, it's been about Lil' Jon.
His new song, 'Snap Yo' Fingers'... He doesn't say 'fingers'. He says 'bagels'. Not that funny? I know it isn't, but, seeing kids like Workman(kid acts like he's retarded and probably is. Has Ace Ventura hair, too.), Ben(little skinny-esque guy with a big head), and Latty(token black guy, looks like Lil' Bow Wow) dance and sing that sh!t... Ugh, you have to see it.
A lot of the time, we make fun of people that walk by. It's friendly chirping(hockey term- 'to make fun of'), but effective.
There's this one kid. A year younger than us. He's like 6'4", skinny, sorta blackish, but he has Rick James hair. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, 'f*ck yo couch', but it goes beyond that. This guy actually looks like Rick James. It's completely handicapped. I'm going to get a picture of that motherf*cker.
There's Dribblah. Dribblah is a acne-proned white kid... A sweaty white kid, skinny and like 6', who always wears basketball jerseys, and ALWAYS has a basketball, which he must dribble in the hall and pretend to dunk non-existant nets. It's against his Dribblah religion not to.
By the end of the year, we're going to beat the Hell out of that kid.
There's the Zombie King. It's mean, because this kid has some sort of disorder, and he's pretty nice, but, he looks like a zombie. No lies.
Aside from a bunch of random kids, and our friends and such, our school's pretty normal, I guess. I've talked to some other people who've come from places like North Bay and sh!t, and they say it's friggin' nuts. Like, everything is just... Funny. The people, teachers, building... The school's poorness. Yeah, public education in a 40 year old building... We are ghetto.
We're known as the ghetto school. Our hockey team, for example, doesn't even have matching jerseys. They all look the same, because the basic design's the same, purple shoulders, white body, gold stripes... But, the logos are all different, and the styles of numbers are all different. Then, we blast gangsterrap from the dressing room, when we're all white and hate that sh!t, just to freak the perfect little Christian kids the f*ck out. And, it works. Well.
My school life wasn't always so. Although, I now go to the complete inverse of my old elementary school.
Back in the day, the school was rich, but everything else about that place was evil. I swear, it was built in a day, and these teachers crawled out of Hell. I watched them. It was awesome.
The teachers were all new, they all hated kids... They were all douchebags. But, I can't blame them. My grade 7 class alone took out three teachers in half a year. They either quit, or were fired. Eventually, it got to 'if you get sent in the hall, you go to the office. If you go to the office, you get suspended'. So, depending on who you were, you could be suspended for dropping a pencil, like I was. But, if you were a girl, you could get away with kneeing a guy in the nuts, kicking him in the face, and attempting to sodomize him with a tree branch. I watched it all happen... It was like watching a squirrel about to get run over. You wanna be all "WATCH OUT FUZZY BUDDY!", but you want to see it get crushed, too. I felt like I'd let poor Nathan down when he was on the ground, writhing in pain. Poor bastard.
Besides the 'Justice for Some' polocy of the Canadian Public School System, there are a few other that have made me absolutely despise school and all that. This reason has also caused me to be quiet, shy, and very angry.
I have an older brother, who loves to kiss ass. He will suck anyone's ass if he'll get something out of it... Me, on the other hand. I will kill myself before I suck up to someone I hate, or like, or whatever. This caused me to be hated by all authority figures in school from the age of 7. So... 7 years of Hell while I'm developing a permanent personality, then, boom, High School. Needless to say, it's hindered me slightly.
See, because I'm so quiet, I have a lot of time to think while I'm not conversing with mindless idiots in the morning, or what have you. That means I think about people's motives and such. That means I don't trust many people. That means I send the wrong messages a lot, and take my time when it comes to things.
Recently, I took my time in telling a certain girl that I like her, a lot, simply because I thought she hated me. Turns out, she did like me, a lot, but thought I hated her. She went out, got a boyfriend. It was then that I decided to tell her everything that was on my mind.
Made for a complicated month.
Now, there's another girl exactly like me. It's scary. But, because we're both cautious and distrusting, we never talk. She's the one I was talking about with the eye contact and such... We often look at eachother, almost glare, then smirk, and look away. Then, we shyly each glance back and catch the other looking back. Man, it's focked lolers.
But, yes, more on my pathetic excuse for a love life later. Right now? It's time to listen to the new Chili Peppers CD...