Jedi Prder Training Room (SPLIT/CLOSED)

[Sirithe]

As Adam Sirithe stood on his ship, he went over his plan in his head again. First he would purposely crash on Tatooine sending his master a distress call as he went down. He would “land” in the Dune Sea, and then he would send his position to his master Kurs. He would lie in wait until his master landed, then he would attack and hopefully kill Kurs, he hated the Sith-ness of his act but his master was turning to the Dark Side. The first part of his plan went off without a hitch, as he crashed on the surface of Tatooine in the Dune Sea.

Within five minutes Jawas were picking the remains of his ship clean, he laid there and used a sharp piece of metal to cut his leg. The only reason no wildlife came to disturb him, was that he crashed near a Krayt Dragons cave. He laid there and moaned in pain waiting for his master to get there, he sent another distress call to Kurs with no reply.

After twenty minutes the sweat was pouring all over Sirithes body, he tried using the force to sustain himself but couldn’t any longer. He got up and walked to the remains of his ship and got his water. “So you crashed did you? You look really injured my apprentice!” Sirithe whirled around and saw his master he had been two steps ahead of him the whole time!
“This is where your evil ends master!” Sirithe yelled and ignited his lightsaber.

[Mr. Blue!]

"I am afraid not, my young Padawan. It is you who shall meet your end. I have trained you well, and you might give me a challenge. But, in the end, you will fall. Pity, you were one of my favorite students," said Kurs, as he ignited the violet blade of his lightsabre.
Sirithe lunged at Kurs, who parried it away, and went for a down strike. Sirithe brought his sabre up, and blocked. Sirithe then went into offencive mode, attacking Kurs many times, and having each attack blocked away. They then found themselves in a lock.
"How many times have I sparred with you?" asked Kurs to his former Padawan, "You still go into the offence, when you know defence is where I am most promentent."
"Because, Master, You know offence is my specialty," answered Sirithe, as he backed away from the lock, and began to attack again.
Kurs then jumped away, and grabbed with the Force, a piece of Sirithe's crashed ship that was in the clutches of a Jawa. The heavily damaged hyperdrive flew at Sirithe, Jawa still holding on to it...

Happy, Sirithe?

[Sirithe]

Very, but do you want another attack from me or a kill?

[Mr. Blue!]

attack... I kinda messed that up. My intro is my battlate post.

[Sirithe]

Sirithe charged forward with his lightsaber in his right hand and slashed at Kurs, it was blocked. Sirithe threw his lightsaber to his left hand and used a backhanded slash which Kurs. As they were fighting the suns began to set, so it began to cool off.

Sirithe jumped away and waited for Kurs to charge, Kurs charged at Sirithe twirling his lightsaber over his head looking like a solid circle of violet light. He came at Sirithe who stepped to the side and sliced at Kurs, nut only damaging air. Anyone who was watching from a distance would see a violet light and a blackish silver light twirling around and clashing in big flashes.

Sirithe used the force to push Kurs. He went flying and did a flip and crashed into a large boulder. Sirithe had thought he knocked him out, so he went to check, he was shocked when Kurs popped up and attacked him.

[Moridin]

This thread has been split (http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=170449).

[Phoenix]

Is this the training thread I'm supposed to post in?

[Nimrod]

Yes, you found it. YOu're first task has been complete.

Now, for your training, I want you to be as descriptive as possible. Tell me your characters background from childhood all the way up to now. Explain how he grew up and when he first realized that he was Force sensitive. How he gre up in his later years and what Force powers he gained. The give detail on what he has been doing up to this point.

Be as discriptive as possible, but dont ramble on and on. Correct spelling and grammar will be watched.

Happy posting :)

[Phoenix]

Ummm what kind of force powers are there?

[Phoenix]

Sorry for DP but is there a site I could look up some background info before I get the movies cause it might be til the weekend.

[Nimrod]

No, thats cheating. Im asking you to do this to see how creative you are. This is whay we call it training. There are a few steps that we will take to both see where you are at on creativity, and how you do at posting a battle.

Now, without looking at what other people have put, and what other websites have, use your imagination and come up with some original details.

[Phoenix]

This entry sucks but I'm too tired to make a good one just fell asleep on the couch :D

Description: 6 feet tall with the illusion of not having muscles, but that’s just an illusion he has a low body fat percentage and a high body muscle percentage. He has long flowing hair that is usually covering his eyes, which when you take a deep look into them, almost as if your looking into his soul, you will see the great turmoil of his life. He has a rather stocky looking physique which is used to mislead his opponent because he has excellent speed and agility from the hard training that he made himself go through.
Bio: Born at the Jedi Academy because his mother and father were both excellent Jedi. His mother and father had disappeared on a mission for the Academy, they were never found so they were presumed dead. He was stricken very hard emotionally because of that, only being 5 he never got to really know his parents and never learned all of the stuff most parents teach their kids at an early age. He does not recall his mother and father much; except for a few warn photos he had kept ever since he was little. After the incident all he did was stay in his room not eating and not talking, soon after he had accepted the fact he realized he had to grow up fast, too fast. Leo was determined to be the best Jedi he could be to impress his mother and father if they ever came back. He practiced as much as he possibly could quickly rising to the top of his class. He was always the talk of the adult Jedi when they talk about what upcoming youngster will be the best Jedi. He discovered and fine-tuned the Power within him learning to use telekinesis and mastery of using his light saber. As a teenager he continued his intense training to become the best of the best. He never got sidetracked by girls because the Jedi is not supposed to love or have possessions that would affect them if they were lost. He usually kept to himself and was very mysterious and quiet, but very strong. He flew threw his training as a Padawan learner and got excellent marks from his master. He is now a Master Jedi, but he still trains to become even better…

[Nimrod]

Eh... ok. First off, as a pointer, try not to put everything like a list. THe whole description/bio thing was not what I was aiming for. I wanted more of a summarized story of his life from begining to end. You did some of that. Also, with a diffrent ideas, or diffrent points, try and break it up into paragraphs. A huge bulk clump of words can be hard on the eyes. Here, let me show you...
Standing at 6 feet tall with the illusion of not having muscles, but that’s just an illusion he has a low body fat percentage and a high body muscle percentage. He has long flowing hair that is usually covering his eyes, which when you take a deep look into them, almost as if your looking into his soul, you will see the great turmoil of his life. He has a rather stocky looking physique which is used to mislead his opponent because he has excellent speed and agility from the hard training that he made himself go through.

Leo was born at the Jedi Academy because his mother and father were both excellent Jedi. His mother and father had disappeared on a mission for the Academy, they were never found so they were presumed dead. He was stricken very hard emotionally because of that, only being 5 he never got to really know his parents and never learned all of the stuff most parents teach their kids at an early age.

He does not recall his mother and father much; except for a few warn photos he had kept ever since he was little. After the incident all he did was stay in his room not eating and not talking, soon after he had accepted the fact he realized he had to grow up fast, too fast. Leo was determined to be the best Jedi he could be to impress his mother and father if they ever came back. He practiced as much as he possibly could quickly rising to the top of his class.

He was always the talk of the adult Jedi when they talk about what upcoming youngster will be the best Jedi. He discovered and fine-tuned the Power within him learning to use telekinesis and mastery of using his light saber. As a teenager he continued his intense training to become the best of the best. He never got sidetracked by girls because the Jedi is not supposed to love or have possessions that would affect them if they were lost. He usually kept to himself and was very mysterious and quiet, but very strong.

He flew threw his training as a Padawan learner and got excellent marks from his master. He is now a Master Jedi, but he still trains to become even better…
There, just a rough estimate of how it should be done.

To me, it was scatchy. If you read it from start to finish, it dosent flow like a story would. Its too choppy. It needs to start from the begining as a child, then move up in years and his major experiances, then as an early adult to just what he would be doing yesterday (i.e. "Seeking the Jedi for more training and to become a Council Member eventully) Its suppost to be a summary of all of Leo's highlights from childhood to yesterday.

What I would like for you to do is to redo your first assignment and put it in the way it should be. Remember to use the paragraph form that I showed you. Always starting from beging to end is a good way to do this instead of jumping around from only some of his now feathures to his childhood to his teenhood.

For a beginner, that was pretty good, but I know that you can do better. If you need more help, please feel free to PM me, I would be happy to give further assistance.

Happy posting :)

[Phoenix]

Well thats how I had seen bio's...listings not stories.

[Nimrod]

Eh... if you read my first post, you would have noticed that I asked for a very detailed background story of your character... not a short bio that you have seen people post. Most of peoples bios are only a about 10 sentances long.

There is a diffrence.

[Meathos]

Yeah, Nimmy, a start would be to ask if he knows what 1-1-1 means. He was posting a bio, not an intro, which is painfully obvious. :P

[Nimrod]

Meh, an extremly detailed bio was asked... not a fkn paragraph.

If you can explain your highlights of your whole life in just one paragraph then that is sad.


Besides, explaining what a 1-1-1 is step two for him :D

[Phoenix]

Ok sorry I'll try again might be til tomorrow though. *bows and says sorry a few times as he leaves the room*

[Thrawn]

Don't mean to steal your thunder Nimrod or force ideas on your Padawan but WHJE this may be what Nimrod is looking for:
Biography (Optional)-Teancum was born on the planet Alderaan into the royal family. Because of this he is mostly known for his skills in diplomacy. Teancum’s main Force abilities are used to heal, protect, confuse and absorb enemy attacks. He uses his diplomatic history to prevent fighting whenever possible. When this is not possible he uses his weapons with deadly precision.

When Teancum was born on Alderaan his people looked for him to lead their people through the times to come and to defend them against the intrusions of the galaxy. Teancum loved being out in the forest among the wild things. One day as he was meditating in the wild he entered a trace-like state. In this vision he had he saw immense suffering and pain in the galaxy, and especially on his homeworld. An event stuck out in his mind, an event so catastrophic and devastating that he fell into a coma. His world grieved for him. The prince that had shown so much promise and carried so much light and love for his people may be lost forever.

After the second month of Teancum's coma a pair of Jedi were asked to come to Alderaan to see if there was anything they could do to aid. The moment the Jedi sat by his bedside he awoke. Teancum told them that he had seen that they would come and that they would help him. Jedi Master Hu'ndi took the boy back into the woods and asked him to recount all that he had seen. It was here that Hu'ndi told Teancum that he had much potential with the Force. Immediately Hu'ndi asked if Teancum would like to be trained as a Jedi. With great reluctance Teancum left his people. He knew that their hearts would be troubled so he promised to serve them once he became a Jedi. Teancum entered training when he was nineteen years of age. The Jedi Council granted him special permission to be trained because of the vivid images he had seen of the future. Throughout training Teancum strayed away from peering into the future and focused on other aspects of the Force, he simply could not handle the trauma again.

Once Teancum had been granted the title of Jedi Knight he left to find his place in the world. Remembering the promise he made to his people so he returned there. Being back among his people and the life that he had led before entering the Jedi Academy made Teancum wonder why he had left it in the first place. More and more thoughts of renouncing his title and preparing to claim the throne entered into his mind. Just as before Teancum frequently walked through the woods of his childhood.

As he was walking one day he entered the spot of his traumatic experience. Again, visions of the future flooded his thoughts. Again he saw the catastrophic event but this time it was filled with vivid detail. Every child’s' scream, each dying breath caused Teancum indescribable anguish. When he awoke he swore to never again to commune with the Force. But with each passing day something called to him from the past and future.

Around his twenty-fourth birthday his father became deathly ill and Teancum knew the time had come to ascend to the throne. His father called him to his chambers and gave him advice that would stick with him for the rest of his days. He told him that he could do more for the galaxy then he could for the people of Alderaan. The galaxy deserved one more strong defender and Alderaan would be selfish to keep him for their selves. Teancum decided that day that he needed to defend the galaxy, he needed to be a Jedi. Maybe with his aid the tragedy he saw could be forgotten.

Teancum left his people on his personal ship aiming, to where the Force would take him. In the midst of his travels he felt the need to find a secluded place and enter into hibernation. He guided his ship down to the surface of a small, uninhabited, forest moon of a distant planet. Here he found an old settlement and prepared himself for hibernation, knowing the Force would protect him.

While in deep sleep Teancum felt the same suffering and devastation he had become so familiar with from his boyhood visions. He longed so much to wake up and see what had happened to cause so much pain but the Force would not allow him to awake. He also felt disturbances happening on this moon, two opposing forces fighting an epic battle. He felt a massive explosion and another explosion of hate, followed by a massive outpouring of joy, happiness and celebration. Teancum lost track of time and slipped in and out of the mortal realm he felt. Finally the Force allowed him to awake. It took Teancum hours to regain the use of his limbs, and to find his ship. The ship was practically covered in overgrowth and looked as if it hadn’t been used in years, hundreds of years in fact. Luckily the Alderaan engineers were known for making things last for very lengthy periods of time. Teancum prepared the ship and left the planet he had hibernated on for a period of time.

Teancum set a course for his home planet, preparing himself for a marvelous homecoming. As he approached he knew something was different and horribly wrong. Where his planet once stood, emptiness took over. A grand, proud world reduced to nothing. Teancum delved into his ships holonet to find what had happened. As he learned of the rise of the Empire, the destruction of his home world, and the fall of the evil Empire at the place he spent in hibernation he was filled with indescribable sorrow. Finally he learned that he had been in hibernation for nearly 1,000 years. Why had the Force kept him asleep for all these events? He had missed the chance to fight for his people, to protect them, to die for them if needed. All he had known was gone, everybody he knew was dead.

Responding to a feeling Teancum looked for any signs of Jedi or Sith. Whichever was in power, if any were still around, he would follow. Almost at once messages, images, and stories of years of the Jedi arose, they were still alive and flourishing. Teancum knew the path he must take. He must put aside his anguish and again pledge loyalty to the Galaxy, he was still one of its protectors. Teancum was still a Jedi.

That about cover it Nimrod?

[Phoenix]

He said I can't look at other Bios so I shall follow his orders.

Is this better master?(I'm only posting the appearance to make sure I'm doing better)

Appearance: Standing at 6’0” and weighing in at around 180 pounds this Jedi is your average typical Jedi, but as everybody knows looks can be deceiving. Always having his long jet black hair covering his eyes just adds to his mysterious not fully tapped potential even though what skills he has now are still above average. Having hurricane blue eyes his eyes create the illusion that his iris is slowly swirling. If you are skillful enough to ever have time to look him in his eyes when he is in battle you can see a red rim around the pupil and iris symbolizing his built up anger and rage from a dreadful childhood. He has a battle scar from a hidden dagger that was used by an opponent when he went to see if they were still alive, when he bent down to check foolishly his enemy jumped up and sliced he face. As a counter-attack he sliced the man’s his head clean off his shoulders. Hidden under his Jedi robe are tremendously strong calf and thigh muscle, which came in handy during his training and early childhood. Also, his lightning-fast reflexes helped him become an even better Jedi.

[Nimrod]

:paranoid: Uh... uh... uh...

Ok, I did tell Envy that I did not want him to copy someone elses ideas, that I wanted him to be creative and to come up with everything on his own.

On the other hand, I did want you to look and see how everyone else did it; not copying what they said, but the style of what they did.

Now Envy, since Thrawn was so kind to post his, do you see how he broke his up in paragraphs to make it easier to follow and read? Also, do you see the detail that he included? He didnt just write a paragraph, he wrote a lot. Like I said, the more info on your character the better.


I realize that I may not have been as clear as I should have been. THere has not been much action in the training thread for quite some time. I appoligize if I was not clear enough, or if I steered you in the wrong direction. Anyways, my whole point for this is to see where you are at for writing skills, and to get you to write a lot more and to add detail.

[Phoenix]

Well could you answer my question first.

[Nimrod]

I answered it already.

Is this better master?

I responded in post #22

[Phoenix]

Well your beating around the bush about it just say either it's good or it sucks.

[Nimrod]

I though I made myself clear. :-\

Please redo one more time. In paragraph form like what Thrawn illistrated. Add more detail please.

I guess I just have to be blunt.

[Phoenix]

Yes you do I'm tired and smell like horses and don't feel like infering. :D But I will try, yet again. Hopefully this time I'll only suck not suck and blow at the same time.

[Nimrod]

:wha:

Yeah, hopefully just one more time and you can achieve a power greater than any... Wait, wrong line.

One more time and I think you will have it. :)

[Phoenix]

Give me a few days maybe over the weekend and I'll try to get a good bio in.

Oh I wanted to ask you what would be a good book to see good examples of the descriptive writing your talking about?

[Phoenix]

Quick story I made up when I was bored at home. And Nimrod told me to post it.

[SIZE="3"]Swift Changes


We find Leo on a vacation from the Jedi Academy at his home planet, Titanius, accompanied by his Padawan learner, Zua. He lands his star ship Apollo I in the green, flowered valley between the planet’s tallest mountains, Machia and Ziran, and then walks down the ramp. He stops a moment to breathe the fresh air, a good change from the stale contained oxygen found on his starship.

His Padawan learner walks up beside him, a strange looking pair seeing as Leo is 6’0” and Zua is only 5’4”, and asks, “Master Leo how are we going to travel and see more of this beautiful planet without having to walk for, what seems would take an eternity.” Leo replies, “Young one, you have to learn not to assume anything about people you do not fully know and understand. I have my ways of travel through these vast lands.” He then whistles a short melody and sits on the green grass and waits while his Padawan learner has a look of bewilderment that is clear as a pure stream.

Zua asks, “Master what are you waiting…” he is interrupted by two valiant stallions galloping towards them at full speed, one as black as the sky on a clear night and the other as white as a cloud on a sunny day. They both switch to a walk when they got within 5 feet of Leo and nudge him as he pets their elongated faces. Leo looks over to Zua and says “You take Sundance”, he then sees the confusion on the Padawan’s face and smiles and says, “Sorry, Sundance is the white one.” He then mounts onto his horse, Roan, and says “Hope you know how to ride.” laughs, then yells “Canter Roan!”, and clicks twice and speeds off like a bullet.

He looked back searching for Zua and saw him not far behind so he decided to pick up the pace and yells “Gallop Roan” and kicked him twice in the sides slightly. He bent over grabbing Roan’s mane and leaning over his neck for balance as he galloped off towards the forest.

He continues galloping on a path wore out by the horses and other woodland animals walking to and fro. Taking different lefts and rights remembering exactly where he wanted to go to get to his old meditation area. He sees the waterfall and slows down to a canter until he gets to the lake, and says “Whoa Roan” and Roan stops on the spot. He dismounts and walks over to the water’s edge taking off his robe, while keeping his undergarments on, then wraps the robe in several giant leaves tying them with vine from a nearby tree.

As he is tying the leaves to his back he sees Zua come up and fall off. He asks “Have a fun ride?” and get a look that can obviously be read as “Screw you.” He waits for Zua to take his robes off and tie them up just like he had done. They then dive into the water and go under the point where the waterfall meets the lake and finds the hole to lead to his hideout. Leo swims through the hole followed by his Padawan learner, and surfaces at the edge of the cove. He walks over and enters a makeshift wooden door into his room.

He goes to a door sized hole in the cave wall and grabs two towels and throws one to Zua and uses one to dry himself. Grabbing his robe and re-tying the belt that holds it on he asks, and chuckles softly, his Padawan learner “How do you like my home planet so far?” Zua replies “It’s been…interesting” as he puts his robes back on and puts his light saber inside his robes. Leo turns to Zua, grabbing his light saber and says “Well it’s about to get even more interesting” and charges him while using the Force to pin him against the wall.

[Nimrod]

Yeah, I liked the story, and am going to use it as part of your first step.

You see how you wrote that? Now, just put your characters information in that setup, and you can pass step one with flying colors! :^:

Just use the paragraph breakups as diffrent time eras. If you only end up with three big paragraphs, then that is all that is required. If you have five, splendid... and so on.

[Thrawn]

And if you have ten....

[Nimrod]

... then you automaticly skip step two and go straight to step three :shrug:

[Phoenix]

Sweet a way to do less and skip a step, I'll get right on it :^:

[Phoenix]

I hope this isn't too long I just got caught up when I was writing it :D

Biography

Leon was born on the heavily wooded, remote planet of Forsatia. He was born into a family of Jedi Masters and was raised in the Jedi ways. One day his father and mother decided to go back to the planet that they belonged to spiritually for a short vacation from their Jedi work. On this vacation they explored their favorite forest along with a waterfall. Leon, only being 6 at the time, could not follow his parents as they explored a hole in the wall behind the waterfall, so he waited for their return. To no avail they did not return, but he thought it has only been about an hour they will be back shortly.

No less than 10 minutes later he heard a blood chilling scream, which he automatically recognized as his mother’s. Once he had come out from his hiding behind a bush, he decided to look and see if by some chance they escaped only to see a cloud of blood floating in the water in front of him.

Traumatized by this event he let out a scream of pure rage, raised his hands towards the heavens and swore upon his mother and father that he would avenge their death. To his astonishment his mother and father’s lightsabers trembled on the ground and flew to his hand, one in each hand. This was the first incident of the Force within him.

He stumbled upon the small village that he believed he grew up in, which was strengthened when he mentioned their names and they were Jedis. He was then taken by a wise old man, whose origin and past was not known very well, the only thing the people of the village knew was he was very fit, fast, and intelligent.

With this man, whose name was Kinu, but called Master Kinu by Leon, he trained for years and years under his regiment, which was fierce and not for the weak. They would spend long sessions deep in the forests, sometimes lasting for months. Usually they would stay near the river so they would always have a supply of fresh water and fish for food.

During his training he learned that one of his powers from the Force was the ability to speak to and understand animals. His favorite animal to talk to was the many wild horses roaming through the forest. One of the horses he was particularly fond of was a pitch black stallion that he called Roan. Many times during his training sessions he would take a break from the harsh exercises and go and talk to Roan. Being very tall for his age of 9 he could get on Roan with ease and soon taught himself how to stay on Roan while he trotted, cantered, and even galloped.

While under Master Kinu’s training he learned and mastered many things by the time he reached late adolescence. He learned how to successfully dodge virtually any attack from his master, learned how to beautifully wield a lightsaber, single or double, along with a staff. Also, he learned how to attack and defend with a melee style, Karate, Tae-Kwan-Doe, Jujitsu, Mao-tai, and his master’s own blend of all the techniques he has learned in his many years of battles and training.

Leon soon could not withstand the mystery any longer. He got up the nerves to ask Master Kinu about his past. Kinu told him his whole life story from his miserable up bringing to his discovery of the force and acceptance into the Jedi Academy, his becoming a Jedi Knight then Master, and finally him leaving all of it to pursue a life of simplicity in this small village. He then told Leon that he is of the right skill and age to apply to the Academy. Leon took this advice and got on a ship to go to the Academy and fulfill his dream of following in his parent’s footsteps. Of course he had to take his lifelong companion, Roan, with him.

He arrived at the Academy and talked to the Head of Councils about his early acceptance. They had a meeting to decide, the next day they came back and said first you must show us your skills in using the Force. He showed them everything he had learned under the teachings of Master Kinu. After much debate they concluded that he will be accepted and become a Padawan learner under the command of Jedi Master Hoy Frigon.

[Thrawn]

Sorry, only nine paragraphs, you fail. But seriously nice work.

[Phoenix]

Thanks, that means alot to a n00b like me :chuckle:

Btw, with that story line if Nimrod hadn't said don't make it too long it would've been thrice the size of that at least :P

[Nimrod]

As much as I like to agree with Thrawn on as much as posible, Im going to say that Envy did quite well.

Next task that I am giving him cause I am skipping one:

Think up/type out a planet that you would like to fight at. Give every detail that you can think of that would describe it (smells, tastes, colors, buildings, cities, animals, plant life, water, atmosphere) Try adn give out as much information on this place as you absolutly can.

This is going to be the setup for the final stage in your training.

[Phoenix]

Ok I'll try and get it up by Friday-ish.

[Phoenix]

I had time to write the planet description becuase the CSI was a repeat :(

After completing his training as a Padawan he decided to celebrate by going back to his home planet, Forsatia. After all of the frustration and pressure of training he thought he deserved a break from it all.

When he landed his ship, Apollo X, he walks down the metal ramp and takes a deep breath of the fresh air as he stretches his arms. Roan rushes past his ecstatic to get out of the stuffy ship and into the fresh air of his home world. He decides to take a seat on the grassy area in front of his ship, seeing as it is shaded from the sun, which can be a nuisance on this planet.

While he lies there he starts to take in the smells and noises he was quite acquainted to back when he lived there. He remembers the sounds of the plethora of birds and other woodland animals scurrying around on the vast plains beside the forests.

After several minutes of relaxing he whistles for his trusty horse to come back to him so they can explore and see what has changed on Forsatia. He grabs Roan’s neck and swings his leg over, making sure he is balanced. Then he clicks, kicks twice, and says “Canter” to get Roan going at a steady canter so they can survey faster. Deciding to go to the river nearest the plains first he kicks roan on the left side since horse’s have absolutely no feeling in their mane.

Sliding of Roan’s back he kneels down and splashes a few handfuls of water on his face, then takes a sip or two while Roan does the same. He stands up tall beside his stallion, rubbing his smooth neck; he looks down at the river. This river, known as the Kios River, is the main supply of water to the nearby villages. The villages are small and simple, with no major factories, so there is nearly zero pollution in the river.

After watching many fish go by he decides it is time to continue their exploration. Being close to the bridge to cross the river he decides to walk there, with Roan walking by his side as he always does. After crossing the bridge he hops back on Roan and tells him to let loose. He gallops full speed through the open plain, passing many field animals that all seem like a blur to him.

Roan slows down when they get on the path through the dense forest which dominates the planet. As they trot through the forest, he notices all of the native creatures, of which none have changed noticeably. Seeing nothing of interest in the forest he gallops Roan through the path towards the mountains of the planet arriving there shortly.

Looking up at the peaks of the mountains he realizes there is not enough time for him to climb the mountains and explore it today, so he retires to his ship, puts Roan in his compartment, and leaves his home planet. Well, at least for now…


Hope you like it Nimmy.

[Nimrod]

ALright, I have concluded that you have enough talent to proceed to the final step... THE BATTLE WITH YOUR MASTER!!!

Yes, thats right... you have to battle me to pass in a 1-1-1 battle (meaning one intro post, one battle post and one kill/finishing/concluding post)

The reason I had you pick a planet and give as much detail as possible was because this is the spot were we are going to battle. The reasons for the added detail is for both that we can use everything to our advantage in the fight and to see how well you write.

I want you to go first and make your intro post. This is going to be the opening like a book or a story. Its going to be the first chapter, so not to much action is going to take place... its more like laying down the setting for what is about to happen. Include your characters appearance and how you are preparing for battle. Remember, DO NOT INCLUDE ANYTHING ABOUT MY CHARACTER, that will be reserved for my intro post. :D

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me and we can work it out before you post.

Happy posting Envy, and may the Force be with you!

[Phoenix]

Might be a day or two, just got my 360 working, hehe.

[Phoenix]

Heres my intro, hope it is good enough.

Intro:

We find our young Jedi contemplating why his master sent him a holopad message to meet him o n Forsatia. All Master Nimrod said was find a spot and wait for me, do not look for me I will find you. Every time he thinks about it he thinks of all the different scenarios that could cause that.

It could be something positive like he wanted to relax and take a break, or he could have been manipulated by the Sith and he will try to kill him. After pondering on the matter he remembers the first day he talked to his Master, Nimrod had said “For your last training exercise you will face me in a one-on-one battle to see if you truly are worth the prestigious title of Jedi Knight”

He looks down at his control panel to his spaceship, Apollo X, and skims through the mass of buttons and switches looking for the one specifically honed in on the position of his home planet. He tries to visit there often so any smart Jedi would think to make a shortcut to save him the trouble of typing in the different coordinates. He presses the button and listens to the control panels’ hard drive making all of the grinding and clicking noises as it processes the information it has been given by its pilot. Once it finished he felts the ship turn 90 degrees and start off in the direction of the planet it was told to fly to.

He turns off the switch for hyper drive so he can go down to Roan’s stable and visit his life long companion. As he walks down he goes into the small room to the right of him that has the refrigerator that has Roan’s grain and a few square bails of hay, which he needs to get more of seeing as his stock is getting kind of low. He picks up the red grain bucket and places it next to the grain refrigerator and takes the grain scoop, bends down, fills it up, and pours the grain into his grain bucket.

Leon hears Roan pawing at the sawdust on his stable floor and yells “Roan stop pawing the grain is coming.” Almost immediately after he tells Roan to stop he hears him whinny, since he can understand him by using the force he knows that Roan asked if he is brining hay too so he answers back “Yes, hay too.” As he walks down the hallway to Roan’s stable he grabs a curvy comb and soft brush from the grooming bucket and continues down the hall to the stable and opens the door and walks in, sitting down on the stool.

He places the bucket of grain next to him along with the hay and watches Roan eat. Leon closes his eyes and leans back and relaxes as he uses the force to talk to Roan without moving his lips. After explaining to Roan what will happen so he will not charge Master Nimrod, Roan lifts his head up and nudges Leon to show that he will obey him unless asked otherwise. Leon opens his eyes, grabs the curvy comb, stands up, and starts to brush circles on Roan’s side.

As he is brushing Roan he feels the ship start to descend down to his home planet to land. As all six feet of him stands up he takes the hood of his black coat and places it over his long black hair that is covering his eyes so only slivers of his hurricane blue eyes can be seen. He then takes the comb and brush and places it in the now empty bucket, grabs the cold metal handle, and walks down to the small room and places the bucket inside. After closing the door he walks down to Roan’s stall and unhooks the door and starts to walk down followed closely by Roan.

Lying down on the grass outside he starts to think of a good place to battle, and the first place that comes to mind is the forest. Of course, the forest, he’s more familiar with it that his Master and that will help make up for the skill level difference. Leon gets up and mounts onto Roan’s back telling him to go to the waterfall that they would always visit to relax.

When they get there he lies back on Roan and waits for his Master to come, thinking of a good battle strategy so he can become a Jedi Knight.

[Nollid]

Is anyone willing to be my master?

[Newtype06]

OK Blue, I am here and I am ready to start my training. Your orders, my master?

[Mr. Blue!]

Show me your Bio, and we can begin from there.

[Newtype06]

Name: Skyr Valatos
Species: Kel Dorian
Home world: Dorin
Saber Color: Orange
Description: As a Kel Dor, Skyr wears an air filtration mask on his face and eyes to block out harmful oxygen. He wears a simple brown tunic, but has many folds and pockets in his Jedi robe, for concealing weapons and other tools. 6’0”, Skyr is fairly tall and very solidly built. His light saber incorporates Kel Dorian design and can be easily wielded with three fingers.

basic bio:
Skyr does not remember much about his youth. In fact, his first viable memory is that of a friend in the Academy handing him his first training saber, at the tender age of five. Skyr was one of the different younglings. Due to his alien physique, Skyr had to be trained independently from the other younglings. Sadly, this seclusion has made him introverted, and unusually stubborn. However, Skyr is a loyal friend to those who earn his trust. Employing his finesse with his orange light saber and his skill with words and the manipulation of them, Skyr defends those he feels have earned it. This attitude has garnered the attention of several masters and council members, but Skyr has never been severely reprimanded for his ideals. However, Skyr exhibits a weakness in some of the physical aspects of the force. While he is a skilled combat with a keen tactical mind, Skyr has only become proficient in using the force to create mind tricks. He has mastered this aspect, while his other abilities have waned.

[Mr. Blue!]

Name: Skyr Valatos
Species: Kel Dorian
Homeworld: Dorin
Saber Color: Orange
Description: As a Kel Dor, Skyr wears an air filtration mask on his face and eyes to block out harmful oxygen. He wears a simple brown tunic, but has many folds and pockets in his Jedi robe, for concealing weapons and other tools. Standing at six feet tall, Skyr is fairly tall and very solidly built. His light saber incorporates Kel Dorian design and can be easily wielded with three fingers.
Bio: Skyr does not remember much about his youth. In fact, his first viable memory is that of a friend in the Academy handing him his first training saber, at the tender age of five. Skyr was one of the different younglings. Due to his alien physique, Skyr had to be trained independently. Delete: from the other younglings. Sadly, this seclusion has made him introverted, and unusually stubborn. However, Skyr is a loyal friend to those who earn his trust. Employing his finesse with his orange lightsaber and his skill with words and the manipulation of them. Skyr defends those he feels have earned it. This attitude has garnered the attention of several masters and council members, but Skyr has never been severely reprimanded for his ideals. However, Skyr exhibits a weakness in some of the physical aspects of the force. While he is a skilled combat with a keen tactical mind, Skyr has only become proficient in using the Force to create mind tricks. He has mastered this aspect, while his other abilities have waned.
I like it. Very few things wrong with it. You pass. I want you to now describe in as much detail as possible a Super Battle Droid. You must have no more than four grammar and/or spelling errors.

[Newtype06]

Well, this was interesting. I'm terrible at scrutinizing objects


There is something foreign about a machination. There is also something that sets warriors apart from the rest of society. It is in this aspect that a battle droid stands alone among all things. Whether they are the rolling death machines known as Droidekas, or the autonomous super battle droids, a battle droid represents the pinnacle of cold, emotionless, pitiless warfare. Built usually in a humanoid semblance, a standard battle droid possesses two arms, two legs, a central processing unit in the chest, and a head.
The Super battle Droid, first created by the Baktoid Armor Workshop in order to improve the previous battle droid design, was used prominently by the Techno Union during the Clone Wars. The main design change implemented was the creation of an autonomous command system. The major shortcoming of previous battle droid designs was its need for an overriding command signal to be supplied from a droid control ship. The destruction of such a ship, as seen in the Trade Federation blockade of Naboo, would shut down all droid units. The Super battle droid, however, has no need for a control ship. The upgraded system possesses a small degree of independence.
The small, seemingly delicate frame of the original Trade Federation battle droid has been replaced with a robust amount of grey armor plating, giving the droid a higher chance of surviving the harsh battlefields of the Clone Wars. Mounted on its right arm is a double-barreled blaster cannon, capable of firing at near-automatic rates. In addition to its mounted cannon, a Super Battle Droid is capable of holding different weapons in its left hand, an electrical signal firing the weapon when its stubby fingers cannot.
Standing at exactly 1.93 meters tall, a Super battle droid is an imposing sight on a battlefield. Each part of it has been beefed up from the original battle droid standard. Its legs are thicker, with treaded feet providing extra traction. Its dull grey chest plate is punctuated by a single red activation light on its left side. The neck, which had provided such a delicious target for so many Jedi lightsabers, has been removed, the grey head mounted directly to the body.
However, a battle droid is still just a droid, and while it is superior to previous models, the Super Battle Droid proved no match for the combined weight of the Jedi Order and the Grand Army of the Republic.

[Nollid]

I am ready to begin my training.

[Sirithe]

Ah, yes Padawan Dillon, your training. First I want you to describe an ARC Clone Trooper in their armor, spelling, grammar, capitilization, and punctuation all count. Well get at it!

[Sirithe]

Sorry for DP but here is your mission Dan. You are to go to the planet Tatooine, there is a ring of smugglers there making attacks on New Republic vessels, you are to go there find the ringleader, and capture him, if he resists you are allowed to use force to take him in, in extreme circumstances you may kill him.

[Link]

I'm here to be trained. I am ready.

[Sirithe]

HWL your mission is to describe in great detail a droideka (destroyer droid). Spelling and grammar count and the SW databanks are your friends.

[Link]

I don't know how much information you wanted, but I put this together.

The Droideka, or "Trade Federation Destroyer Droid" heavy infantry unit, are seen in the Star Wars prequel films. These droids can transform, appearing first in a "wheel" state allowing rapid movements and easy storage, then unfold into nasty, insect-like attack-robots with a slow three-legged gait. In their walking state, droidekas have two powerful twin blasters, one on each arm, and personal shield generators. The droidekas used their shield generators in the prequel movies The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith. These shields make the Droidekas very valuable assets on the battlefield, as they are almost impervious to small arms fire, but they are not strong enough to resist starfighter-mounted blasters.

The droidekas sometimes have limited speech abilities and their gender would be male or female depending on their programmings, which similar to the battle droids, but those droids speak in Droid language rather than Basic language. They were deployed at Naboo, and Geonosis, and Coruscant, and are mainly the property of the Trade Federation and The Confederacy of Independent Systems. According to the expanded universe, the original design was made by the insectoid people of Colla IV, who were displeased by the limitations of Baktoid Combat Automata's basic battle droids, and chiefly manufactured there.

The Trade Federation, and presumably the Confederacy, used trading in rare meats as a way to ease bargaining with the ravenously carnivorous Colicoids, and were able to get special rates on these normally very costly droids. Before the Federation's defeat at Battle of Naboo, these droids were usually slaved to a central computer, although this technique fell out of favor in the aftermath of said battle.

[Sirithe]

Very good, very good indeed. I saw one minor problem and that was when I combed through it with a fine toothed comb. Second assignment will be to desctribe your ideal battle ground, atmosphere, temperature, wild life, buildings, all that fun stuff.

[Nollid]

I am ready to start my training Mr. Blue.

[Link]

One of three moons in the system capable of sustaining life, Yavin 4 has a long and strife-torn history interwoven into its tapestry of lush jungle life. On at least two occasions over thousands of years, Yavin 4 became the site of crucial galactic showdowns. Yavin 4 is a young world with plenty of geothermal activity. Sixty-nine percent of its surface is landmass, divided into four continents. Six interconnected oceans cover the rest of the moon, along with one landlocked body large enough to be called a sea. Decades ago, the continents were given the temporary names of Starloft, Swivven, Koos and Wetyin by scouts from Wetyin's Colony.

Because Yavin 4 orbits a gas giant, it has two different types of nightfall. When the moon faces away from the sun, but still faces the gas giant, Yavin 4 experiences twilight night, as the jungle is flooded in a pastel glow. When Yavin 4 faces away from both the sun and the planet, or when the gas-giant eclipses the sun, the moon experiences dark night. Yavin 4's rotation is such that once every several months, it experiences excessively long dark nights. When this occurs, temperatures drop to generate severe storms.

The so-called "rainbow storms" are another beautiful phenomenon of Yavin 4. They occur when the sun pokes around the limb of the great gas giant, casting its beams through the giant's hazy upper atmosphere. This causes the sunlight to become polarized, and when it then strikes ice crystals in Yavin 4's upper atmosphere, great scintillating showers of rainbows appear.

The jungles of Yavin 4 are never quiet, as the night brings about the howls of the woolamanders high in their trees, or the snuffling foraging of a Yavinian runyip or stintaril. Other life-forms include the angler, the armored eel, the crawlfish, mucous salamanders, firebees, piranha-beetles, and crystal snakes.
__________________________________________________ ______________
School starts for me on Tuesday and maybe I won't have time to post, so I ask that you be patient with me. :^:

[Nimrod]

Heres my intro, hope it is good enough.

Intro:

We find our young Jedi contemplating why his master sent him a holopad message to meet him o n Forsatia. All Master Nimrod said was find a spot and wait for me, do not look for me I will find you. Every time he thinks about it he thinks of all the different scenarios that could cause that.

It could be something positive like he wanted to relax and take a break, or he could have been manipulated by the Sith and he will try to kill him. After pondering on the matter he remembers the first day he talked to his Master, Nimrod had said “For your last training exercise you will face me in a one-on-one battle to see if you truly are worth the prestigious title of Jedi Knight”

He looks down at his control panel to his spaceship, Apollo X, and skims through the mass of buttons and switches looking for the one specifically honed in on the position of his home planet. He tries to visit there often so any smart Jedi would think to make a shortcut to save him the trouble of typing in the different coordinates. He presses the button and listens to the control panels’ hard drive making all of the grinding and clicking noises as it processes the information it has been given by its pilot. Once it finished he felts the ship turn 90 degrees and start off in the direction of the planet it was told to fly to.

He turns off the switch for hyper drive so he can go down to Roan’s stable and visit his life long companion. As he walks down he goes into the small room to the right of him that has the refrigerator that has Roan’s grain and a few square bails of hay, which he needs to get more of seeing as his stock is getting kind of low. He picks up the red grain bucket and places it next to the grain refrigerator and takes the grain scoop, bends down, fills it up, and pours the grain into his grain bucket.

Leon hears Roan pawing at the sawdust on his stable floor and yells “Roan stop pawing the grain is coming.” Almost immediately after he tells Roan to stop he hears him whinny, since he can understand him by using the force he knows that Roan asked if he is brining hay too so he answers back “Yes, hay too.” As he walks down the hallway to Roan’s stable he grabs a curvy comb and soft brush from the grooming bucket and continues down the hall to the stable and opens the door and walks in, sitting down on the stool.

He places the bucket of grain next to him along with the hay and watches Roan eat. Leon closes his eyes and leans back and relaxes as he uses the force to talk to Roan without moving his lips. After explaining to Roan what will happen so he will not charge Master Nimrod, Roan lifts his head up and nudges Leon to show that he will obey him unless asked otherwise. Leon opens his eyes, grabs the curvy comb, stands up, and starts to brush circles on Roan’s side.

As he is brushing Roan he feels the ship start to descend down to his home planet to land. As all six feet of him stands up he takes the hood of his black coat and places it over his long black hair that is covering his eyes so only slivers of his hurricane blue eyes can be seen. He then takes the comb and brush and places it in the now empty bucket, grabs the cold metal handle, and walks down to the small room and places the bucket inside. After closing the door he walks down to Roan’s stall and unhooks the door and starts to walk down followed closely by Roan.

Lying down on the grass outside he starts to think of a good place to battle, and the first place that comes to mind is the forest. Of course, the forest, he’s more familiar with it that his Master and that will help make up for the skill level difference. Leon gets up and mounts onto Roan’s back telling him to go to the waterfall that they would always visit to relax.

When they get there he lies back on Roan and waits for his Master to come, thinking of a good battle strategy so he can become a Jedi Knight.

Eh, sorry it took so long to get back to you...


As Leon continued to rest On Roan, Nimrod watched from far away, but tapped into the Force just a little to see if Leon could sense his masters presence. After a few moments, no signs could be detected that Leon felt his Master was near. Nimrod then closed his eyes and lifted a rock nearby. Leon sat up, looking around franticly.

Leon dismounted off of his Horse and walked around his ship. Several pauses indicated that he could in fact sense something was near. Nimrod finally walked out of the bushes, but not drawing attention to himself yet. He used the Force to lift the rock again, but this time he sent it hurling through the air. Leon ignited his lightsaber, spun around and sliced it in half.

Breathing heavily, Leon looked at Nimrod far off, but his eyes locked on his target. His legs were far apart and his left hand was behind his back. Leon’s favorite defensive stance. He continued to look upon Nimrod, but did not move from his ground. He was waiting for something else to happen.

Nimrod stood upright, almost in a statue form. The little wind that had picked up played with Nimrod’s dark outer robe. His two lightsaber hilts danced on his belt. Clippings. The dark brown hair that was usually messy and fell into his eyes was being tossed about on top of his head.

He proceeded to take a few steps closer and raised his right hand towards his Padawan in the process. Leon changed his footing, getting a better feel for his stance. Nimrod took a few more steps, then stopped, leaving some room between them. Accompanied by the smile on his face, he spoke.

“You next and final stage in your Knighthood training is to see how you have progressed in your teachings. I want you to show me just how well you yield that lightsaber of yours and to see how well you can use it in a hostile environment. From this point on until I say its over, you will consider me as your enemy and you must not let me win under any circumstances. Is that clear?”

The wind rushed all around them, almost excited at this rare chance to see a good battle between fellow Jedi’s.

“Whenever you are ready, and if you even dare.” Nimrod said with a sarcastic tone.

Nimrod bent his knees slightly, his left arm fell to his waist and his right arm moved over his belt, grabbing his blue lightsaber. He brought it up to his face and ignited the blade. He moved his left hand upwards and made a motioning with it as if to start the battle.
-------------------------------
Eh, Im still hungover but here it is.

[Mr. Blue!]

Sir Dillon, describe Boba Fett with his armour on. I am looking for great detail. NewType, I will be with you shortly.

[Sirithe]

Good, HWL, now introduce your character into that setting, we will have a training battle. You may introduce me, but don't begin the fight.

[Mr. Blue!]

I like it NewType. You pass. Yur next task will be to describe the planet of Utupau. Leave nothing out. Ready. Set. God it's fun to screw with peo- GO!

[Phoenix]

Leon looked his master over thoroughly; he had never seen his master like this, concentrating on Leon’s every move, every breath he makes; every slight motion is monitored by his master. Leon repositioned his hand holding the lightsaber in front of his chest horizontally, this position being Leon’s own hybrid stance, utilizing both attack and defensive advantages.


The winds picked up speed getting anxious for the battle, all of the animals hushed, and it seemed even the waters stopped draping the in the fields surrounding area with silence. Leon closed his eyes and let the Force engulf him with its presence and power. He looked over at Roan as he grazed; oblivious to what was about to happen, it was understandable because he hasn’t had this grade of grass in a while.

“Roan you better run off to the ship, this could get ugly.”

Roan galloped off to the ramp and went inside the ship.

Leon shifted his weight onto his right leg.

“My steed may be afraid of this battle, but I couldn’t be anymore ready for this chance to show you my true skills as a Jedi.”

Nimrod grinned and laughed at his cocky Padawan.

“Leon you are naïve and stubborn, I’ll soon change-“

Nimrod was cut off by Leon, who lunged at Nimrod at full speed, clearly using the Force to boost his agility. Leon stabbed at Nimrod’s midsection with such ferocity his blue lightsaber that it could only be seen as a blur of blue. To counter this attack Nimrod swung his lightsaber and knocked Leon’s saber away from him, trying to catch him off guard Nimrod slashed at Leon’s head. Leon ducked to dodge his Master attack and kicked his Master’s feet out from under him following the sweep up with a slash downward, but the only thing his lightsaber met was the grass and the ground beneath it.

After his attack Leon jumped backwards a few feet to regain his focus and take a short breath, but his break was cut short with a charge directed at his legs from his Master. Leon jumped up seven feet to avoid this attack, he countered with a flat footed kick to Nimrod’s chest knocking him back several feet and almost to the ground. Nimrod caught himself by placing his free hand on the ground and kneeling, he had no time to get up before Leon attacked him again, this time going for the head.

The Jedi Master dropped to the ground and rolled to the right to dodge the would-be lethal attack. He pushed himself up while Leon was regaining his balance from the missed attack and stood straight up and charged at the young Padawan at full speed. Leon back flipped out of the attack and assumed the defensive position with his saber in front of him and his hand at an angle by his side.

“Come and get me, if you think you have what it takes Master.”

[Nimrod]

Hmm, intresting. Much better than I would have imagined.

Jedi Master Nimrod stood up, dusting his outer cloak making the air around him turn to a beige tint. He reached over his neck with his right hand and unfastened his cloak. He pulled it off and threw it to the side, landing next to a rock. His inner black clothing shimmered in the sunlight.

Nimrod looked over at Leon, still heavily breathing. He saw that his Padawan was motioning for him to attack.

“I see that you are not afraid to fight a Jedi. This could prove to be most disturbing. Having no fear of striking a fellow Jedi is a sure sign to the long decent to the Dark Side. No apprehension in you what so ever.” Nimrod said.

“But Master, I am trying to think of you as a Sith. Only a Sith would fight so dirty. I am trying to prove to you that I can hold my own, even at the toughest of times.” Leon shouted back.

“A Sith eh? You have never encountered a Sith before, perhaps I show you how a Sith really fights!” Nimrod exclaimed.

Nimrod twirled his lightsaber in his hand, keeping his opponents eye on it for focus. He ran forward, but kept his other free hand back a little behind him. Nimrod went for a strike, but jumped sideways while handing off his lightsaber to his freehand in the process and using his left hand to get in another strike before jumping completely out of the way. The tail end of the blade was able to get a piece of Leon’s shoulder. Burnt flesh could be smelt.

Leon dropped back in pain and grabbed his ledt shoulder with his right hand. As Nimrods boots touched the ground, he sprung back up into action, but not before grabbing a handful of dirt. He bounced back up into the air, waving his lightsaber towards his opponent. Leon countered and brought his lightsaber across his body to block, but leaving him open afterwards. Nimrod threw his left hand and dirt was sprayed out as it projected away from his hand. A direct hit was placed on Leon’s unprotected eyes.

Leon fell to the ground, scurrying around trying to regain his footing, but not being able to see anything. He wiped at his eyes, trying to free them from the dirt infested prison that shielded them from any sight. Tears soon broke through and started to clean out the remains of the sediments.

“Remember Leon, the Sith don’t hold back at all. They play the dirtiest trick to gain the upper hand. They take everything that they can possibly get. Do you understand?” Nimrod asked.

With tears mixing in with the dirt, Leon wiped away the mud from his eyes. “I think so Master.” Leon was able to spit out.

“Show me.” Master Nimrod said.
-------------------------------
Alright, this is our closing battle next. Be sure to wrap things up.

[Phoenix]

Who kills who?

[Nimrod]

Um... we are Jedi, we dont kill other Jedi.

This is TRAINING.

[InvisibleFear]

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?is this the place i can train to become a member of the jedi order?

[InvisibleFear]

May i please train here o my masters?
(FOR ADAM: ABOUT THE JOKES AND RIDDLES THING A STUPID FRIEND OF MINE WROTE IT AS I WAS GONE FROM THE COMP A LITTLE TIME.IT WASNT ME WHO WROTE THOSE STUPID ****S. IT TOLD HIM NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING BUT ..................)

[Phoenix]

Well you said you are now my enemy, usually enemies try to kill each other and one does just that.

[Nimrod]

I said "let me show you how a Sith fights".

Ok, we dont actully kill our opponet, but prove how good we can fight, adn prove that if this was a real battle, that you could kill if the need was great enough.

Understand?

[Phoenix]

Sorta, what am I supposed to base my RP around, the last post is supposed to be a kill post and I can't do that so what should I do?

[Newtype06]

The battle is theoretical. Think "Star Wars Infinities", the "what-if" Star Wars comics. This battle really doesn't take place physically as much as mentally.

[Nimrod]

What I suggest you do then, is go back through the split and start reading some of the previous battles. You might find what you are looking for.

[Newtype06]

Well, Blue, you probably hate me for not posting anything, but my comp has been outta control for the last few weeks. I have the Utapau description up and running.



Utapau: A backwater planet that should have stayed that way, the nine-mooned planet in the Outer Rim’s Tarabba Sector has the distinction of being the place where the Clone Wars came to a symbolic end.

Settled roughly 57,000 years before the battle that was waged there, the planet Utapau was settled by colonists who eventually evolved into two separate species: the regal, cadaverous Pau’ans, and the short, wide-eyed Utai. In a constant symbiotic relationship, the Utai and Pau’ans work together, filling necessary cultural and economic positions. This relationship helped give the planet its name: Utapau.

The early settlers of Utapau were hard pressed to find a decent place to live in while still mining the mineral-rich waters there. Deadly hyperwinds constantly scour the surface of Utapau, making life on the surface impossible. To survive, the settlers took refuge in "sanctuaries" made from natural sinkholes in the planet. Due to the complex movement of Utapau’s moons, there is an unusual tidal movement, and as a result, the ocean underneath the continent moves, giving rise to groundquakes. These groundquakes are what created the sinkholes in which the settlers took refuge.

Arid, windy, and forsaken, there is little to no vegetation on Utapau. This lack of trees forced the resourceful Utai and Pau’ans to resort to other building materials. They looked to the animals of Utapau to support them. Thus the Ossic style of architecture was born. Using the bones of the massive creatures that roam the caverns of Utapau, the settlers created massive, rib cage-like structures.

The capital of Utapau is Pau city, an eleven level sinkhole that serves as a major spaceport and trading center. As such, multiple landing platforms have been erected, in the Ossic style. Traders are free to use their own craft to move from level to level, but dactillions also provide the necessary taxicab service.

Overall, Utapau has only ninety-five million inhabitants, as opposed to a major center such as Naboo, which sports six hundred million inhabitants. The Utai and Pau’ans had lived in peace and neutrality for generations, until the great conflict known as the Clone Wars swept the planet up into the Galactic spotlight.

[Mr. Blue!]

Okay, good. Your next task is to describe the place of our RPB. Then we will begin an RPB.

[Phoenix]

Leon stood there as the winds started to die down somehow knowing the battle will end soon, very soon. As his jet black hair started to fall into his line of sight he brushed it behind his ear with his free hand. With his outer cloak settling to a fixed place he reached to his right shoulder and unclipped the cloak that is no longer needed and now just a burden. Once the clip is undone he tossed it a good ways to the right so it will not get in the way of the rest of the battle.

He lifted his head and focused his glare on his Master, now his enemy.

“So tell me more about the fighting style of these Sith you speak of, I have heard some about them but never much detail.”

Nimrod relaxed his stance slightly as he said, “As you have learned first hand my young padawan, they take no mercy and gives no breaks. They will use any means necessary to kill their opponent.”

As Nimrod said this Leon took the chance to secretly signal Roan that it is time to commence their plan. Leon used the force to grasp onto a nearby large sized pebble and held the grasp and continued their conversation.

“Would the Sith kill an innocent baby?” Leon asked.

“Would a lion attack a fallen antelope” Nimrod replied in a sarcastic tone.

“I take that as a yes” As Leon said this he used the force to propel the rock at a speed fast enough to inflict minor damage to his Master’s wrist.

Nimrod switched his saber to his other hand. While he did so, Leon lunged at him using the force to give him an extra boost at push off and jabbed at his head. With Nimrod’s saber coming up to block, Leon dropped down and leg swept Nimrod off his feet, using his extra foot to bounce off of the ground and kicked his dominant hand further damaging the saber wielding ability of that hand.


Leon then slashed at his Master’s abdomen only to be blocked again. Keeping up the flurry of attacks Leon stabbed towards Nimrod’s right shoulder. While Leon jabbed towards the shoulder he sensed Roan getting very close and made one more slash and Nimrod’s legs before jumping back. Barely missing Roan’s charge, he caught himself and went on the attack again. As he expected, Nimrod sensed the attack just as it got dangerously close and evaded the charge, jumping to the left, putting him in the way of Leon’s attack range.

Leon slashed at Nimrod’s neck and stopped it within an inch of the location of his corroded artery. Catching Nimrod off guard was the final result of his long thought, well planned, and perfectly executed plan.

“Master, you have been bested.” Leon said with a satisfied tone to his voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope it wasn't too focused around me attacking, just figured you would do the same in your final post.

Also, thanks for the compliment, I missed it when I read your post the first time.

[Phoenix]

Step Uno: EA, heh funny, I want you to post your character's bio in detail with correct grammer. Don't forget to include how he found out about his force powers and how he came to the Jedi Academy.

Remember it's quality that counts not quantity.

[elven_Archer]

RP name: Kainin
Age: 20
Lightsaber color: Green
Appearance: Kainin stands at roughly 6 feet tall. He is a skinny jedi but he is strong with a lightsaber and in the Force. He wears the typical, simple, tan Jedi battle outfit. He never wears robes because he finds them to be consticting in a battle.
Species: Human
Homeworld: Corellia
Bio: Kainin grew up as a middle-class boy on Corellia. His father began teaching him how to fly a ship when he was 10 years old. He continued learning how to fly when he realized that he always knew what was about to happen. He researched this and realized that he could use the Force. Kainin had heard about the Jedi Knights on Coruscant but it had never crossed his mind to become one...

Kainin began practicing using the Force, trying to move small objects. He was able to shake a cup, slightly, but could not do anything big...yet. When Kainin had taught himself all he could learn he took a public transport to Coruscant where he joined the Jedi Order and became a padawan.

Well heres my bio. I don't know if that is what you were asking for.

[Phoenix]

IN DEATIL

Not to be an ass or anything, but I put that in there for a reason :)

Here's mine for example, note I said example not something like an encyclopedia where you can copy it and pass it as your own.


Leon was born on the heavily wooded, remote planet of Forsatia. He was born into a family of Jedi Masters and was raised in the Jedi ways. One day his father and mother decided to go back to the planet that they belonged to spiritually for a short vacation from their Jedi work. On this vacation they explored their favorite forest along with a waterfall. Leon, only being 6 at the time, could not follow his parents as they explored a hole in the wall behind the waterfall, so he waited for their return. To no avail they did not return, but he thought it has only been about an hour they will be back shortly.

No less than 10 minutes later he heard a blood chilling scream, which he automatically recognized as his mother’s. Once he had come out from his hiding behind a bush, he decided to look and see if by some chance they escaped only to see a cloud of blood floating in the water in front of him.

Traumatized by this event he let out a scream of pure rage, raised his hands towards the heavens and swore upon his mother and father that he would avenge their death. To his astonishment his mother and father’s lightsabers trembled on the ground and flew to his hand, one in each hand. This was the first incident of the Force within him.

He stumbled upon the small village that he believed he grew up in, which was strengthened when he mentioned their names and they were Jedis. He was then taken by a wise old man, whose origin and past was not known very well, the only thing the people of the village knew was he was very fit, fast, and intelligent.

With this man, whose name was Kinu, but called Master Kinu by Leon, he trained for years and years under his regiment, which was fierce and not for the weak. They would spend long sessions deep in the forests, sometimes lasting for months. Usually they would stay near the river so they would always have a supply of fresh water and fish for food.

During his training he learned that one of his powers from the Force was the ability to speak to and understand animals. His favorite animal to talk to was the many wild horses roaming through the forest. One of the horses he was particularly fond of was a pitch black stallion that he called Roan. Many times during his training sessions he would take a break from the harsh exercises and go and talk to Roan. Being very tall for his age of 9 he could get on Roan with ease and soon taught himself how to stay on Roan while he trotted, cantered, and even galloped.

While under Master Kinu’s training he learned and mastered many things by the time he reached late adolescence. He learned how to successfully dodge virtually any attack from his master, learned how to beautifully wield a lightsaber, single or double, along with a staff. Also, he learned how to attack and defend with a melee style, Karate, Tae-Kwan-Doe, Jujitsu, Mao-tai, and his master’s own blend of all the techniques he has learned in his many years of battles and training.

Leon soon could not withstand the mystery any longer. He got up the nerves to ask Master Kinu about his past. Kinu told him his whole life story from his miserable up bringing to his discovery of the force and acceptance into the Jedi Academy, his becoming a Jedi Knight then Master, and finally him leaving all of it to pursue a life of simplicity in this small village. He then told Leon that he is of the right skill and age to apply to the Academy. Leon took this advice and got on a ship to go to the Academy and fulfill his dream of following in his parent’s footsteps. Of course he had to take his lifelong companion, Roan, with him.

He arrived at the Academy and talked to the Head of Councils about his early acceptance. They had a meeting to decide, the next day they came back and said first you must show us your skills in using the Force. He showed them everything he had learned under the teachings of Master Kinu. After much debate they concluded that he will be accepted and become a Padawan learner under the command of Jedi Master Hoy Frigon.

[elven_Archer]

Oh, I didn't think that you meant in an RP. You just said a bio. I'll try to have it up soon.

[Phoenix]

That's not an RP, that's a detailed bio, which is what I asked for. That's the bio I had to use to pass that step in my training.

[Newtype06]

Ok, this was not exactly my best work ever, but it serves its purpose.

Skyr Valatos cringed as another bolt of lightning struck the ground. Ground, ocean, whatever you wanted to call it. It seemed that the rain here never stopped. The constant deluge made for one soggy Jedi. However, Skyr stood his post at Kamino, just as he had been informed to do so. Master Janta would be arriving soon, and Skyr knew that his relief would come with him. Finally finished looking for his master’s ship, Skyr stepped inside, into one of the unnecessarily bright and quiet Kaminoan buildings.
Blinking several times, the Kel Dor shook the excess rain off him and sat down into one of the ladle-shaped chairs the Kaminoans were so fond of. Skyr settled into a meditative trance, trying to derive what lesson was to be learned from this experience. Skyr thought, briefly recalling the mission he and Kurs Janta had on Corellia. He chuckled to himself, recalling the almost comical series of circumstances that propelled them to the forefront of a smuggling ring. However, things escalated quickly and in the wrong direction, and lightsabers had to be brandished. Was that the lesson he was supposed to learn here? Was it that the simplest mission could turn to a fight for ones life? Skyr gave that idea some thought, but then sent it back into the recesses of his mind. Perhaps the Force was trying to tell him something. Suddenly, warning klaxons blared, shattering the silence of the Kaminoan building. Skyr could sense it in the force, the great disturbance that approached. Was it invaders? Master Janta? Or was it something else, something worse? These thoughts raced through Skyr’s mind as he raced to the main landing platform. He paid no mind to the thunderclap that roared nearby. He made his way through the walls of rain to the ship that had landed there. A ship that seemed familiar. The landing ramp dropped, and out from the hold came just the man Skyr had been waiting for: Kurs Janta.
Was he the great disturbance Skyr felt? The padawan pondered this as his master approached. It couldn’t be. Kurs Janta was one of the finest Jedi in the galaxy. There was no way he could give off such an air of menace. Yet as Kurs Janta moved closer, the disturbance got greater. The Force had never betrayed Skyr before, and so he put his trust in the Force, summoned his saber to his hand, and lit the orange blade.

[Mr. Blue!]

Ahh, a water planet. You are going to have fun now...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kurs Janta stepped down the landing ramp of the Aqualan IV, his bare feet slapping on the metal. He raised his head, and removed the dark blue hood that was already rain soaked. He stared at his Padawan Skyr with his cold black eyes. Skyr then grabbed his sabre and ignited the orange blade.

"Why do you raise your sword against me Padawan? You have nothing to fear."
"I feel the Dark Side in you master."
"Now now, my young Padawan. Would you really believe that I, a Jedi Master, would turn my back on the Order?"
"I wouldn't until now."
"Very well, but you do realize now that I must kill you. That is unless you join me."
"I would never turn my back on the Order."
"So be it."

Kurs let his soaked dark blue robe drop to the ground. He grabbed his sabre and held it in two hands. He activated it, and a violet blade ruptured from the end, hissing as rain fell upon it. He then charged at Skyr...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish for this to be quick, so we will only be having one battle post, and then I will make the Kill Post, which will be combined with my final battle post. After this I will request your promotion.

[Newtype06]

Sorry about the inactive-ness. I've been kinda busy...


Man, he’s fast, Skyr thought to himself as he narrowly parried one of Kurs’ strikes. He had had training matches with his master before, but Skyr had never felt this kind of ferocity in his master’s blows. Kurs Janta moved like a thing possessed. The two swung their sabers indiscriminately, hoping to catch the other off guard. The two warriors embodied the true dangers of their ranks. Skyr, a padawan, was dangerous because he knew nothing and would try everything. Kurs, a Master, had memorized countless combinations, but was susceptible to improvisation. Therefore, Kurs Janta found himself strangely well matched in his duel against his apprentice. The two struggled to gain the upper hand in a fight to the death. Skyr finished an elaborate combo with a thrust at Kurs’ knees, but the Master vaulted over Skyr’s head, and began backing into the Kaminoan building. Skyr followed, and the pristine silence of the Kaminoan structure was shattered by the hum of lightsabers and the grunting of combatants.

The two locked sabers, and pressed down, trying to force their opponent to his knees. Skyr felt himself being pressed backwards, and decided to try an unorthodox technique. He let Master Janta press him down, and as Skyr fell backwards he reached up towards Kurs Janta’s light saber handle. He grabbed on, and planted his boot in Kurs’ abdomen. Completing the backwards rolling motion, Skyr flung his master over himself, using Kurs’ own forward momentum against him. Kurs flew through the air, and skidded to a stop on the floor. Skyr picked himself up, as did Kurs, and the two continued their duel. Skyr dashed forward, leveling a crippling hack at Kurs’ head, but the Master ducked. Skyr’s blade left a gouging burn in the wall behind Kurs Janta. Kurs brought his saber straight up, intent on splitting Skyr in two. Quickly pulling his saber out of the wall, Skyr stopped the deadly violet blade just short of its target. Their sabers at their knees, Kurs took the opportunity to punch Skyr in the face. Skyr recoiled, and almost missed blocking a follow up attack from Kurs’ saber.

The white hallway was a mess of charred lines, evidence of the brutal fight. The two enemies pressed on, eventually coming to another doorway. Skyr barely had time to open the door before another strike nearly took his head off. A crack of thunder informed Skyr that he was back outside again, however this time he was on a bridge spanning two structures. Skyr parried a three-strike combo Kurs threw at him, and followed up with one of his own. Kurs sneered, and with a vicious strike knocked Skyr to his knees.

Thinking quickly, Skyr knocked Kurs on his back with a sweeping kick. Kurs fell to the ground with a smack, his lightsaber slicing off a piece of the bridge. Skyr scrambled off his knees, and swung down at the fallen Master, but Kurs blocked the strike, and landed a kick at Skyr’s knee. Hindered, Skyr had no choice but to watch his master flip to his feet. Skyr readied his saber, and watched his master do the same.

[Lerro]

Lerro has dark hair;blue eye's;1,8m tall;

Lerro wouke up.That dream...,that dream....That dream comes almost every night.He run's in to his fathere's arm's mother is standing by it's a sunny summer day everything is just fine and than appears something dark it's not seen very good like a black cloud or spot it get's a saber and then dream is ending.It was realy hard to grow up with out any family.He was only 7 when he lost parrent's,after that he was warking for 3 year's in a bar,as a "kid for any work",on Nar Shada.It was really bad plce to grow up fight's on blaster's,one or 2 time's on light sabers.Than one traveller bought him from bar for 500 kredit's as a cleaner on the space ship.
There he was for 2 year's he was not allone on that ship there war 5 more kid's and 10-15 people of the crew.It wasn't that bad,but one night it was all over 3 battel ship's attacked theyre ship he and Evaro were only who left allive and got under slavory.Evaro died of some kind of illnes in 3 weak's.In thous few month that he was on the ship,he found that siths killed his parrent's,that was atleast what people sayd,and that sith who killed he's parrent's as Dayu Raikong.It was hard to find that sith:running from slavory,steeling a ship,and on Tatooin he finnly found him.It was a really hard fight,Lerro was hurted alomost dead but he killed Dayu.Than there was some ship's,droid's,.....he wouke up in the medic wing and in few day's he was offerd to studdy in jedi accedemy.He found a ship and for really small money he sayled to accedemy with hop's to become a jedi.He new it was only start of a long and hard way to the force.

Well that's all hope you like it Seaya

[Newtype06]

I'm about two sentences in, and Ill tell you this.

I want you to seriously think about why you are here. If your posts are going to be of this quality, than you will be in this training room indefinately.

Start over. Do the whole thing over again. Type your bio in some type of word processing unit, like microsoft word or works, and use a spell/grammar check. Also, you misspell a word in your first sentence. That's not a good way to start

Heres how I want your bio/description done. This one was mine. DO NOT just copy and paste mine in with the names changed and tell me it's yours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Name: Skyr Valatos
Species: Kel Dorian
Home world: Dorin
Saber Color: Orange
Description: As a Kel Dor, Skyr wears an air filtration mask on his face and eyes to block out harmful oxygen. He wears a simple brown tunic, but has many folds and pockets in his Jedi robe, for concealing weapons and other tools. 6’0”, Skyr is fairly tall and very solidly built. His light saber incorporates Kel Dorian design and can be easily wielded with three fingers.

Skyr does not remember much about his youth. In fact, his first viable memory comes from a friend in the Academy handing him his first training saber, at the tender age of five. Skyr was one of the different younglings. Due to his alien physique, Skyr had to be trained independently from the other younglings. Sadly, this seclusion has made him introverted, and unusually stubborn. However, Skyr is a loyal friend to those who earn his trust. Employing his finesse with his orange light saber and his skill with words and the manipulation of them, Skyr defends those he feels have earned it. This attitude has garnered the attention of several masters and council members, but Skyr has never been severely reprimanded for his ideals. However, Skyr exhibits a weakness in some of the physical aspects of the force. While he is a skilled combat with a keen tactical mind, Skyr has only become proficient in using the force to create mind tricks. He has mastered this aspect, while his other abilities have waned.

[LordOfTheLamp]

Is this the right place for the Jedi Order training?

would like to join.

[Newtype06]

not exactly. You need a master first. go to this thread:

http://forums.gamewinners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=390234

and post a bio for your character for someone to teach you. If you show promise, I might help you out.

[Double Agent]

I guessed you might want for starters my bio, right Blue?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rp Name: Eragon
Age: 15
Race: Elf (thought it might be original)
Home world: Coruscant
Saber color: Silver

Description: Very white skin, pointed ears, 6 feet tall, very light, extremely fast, and extreme light saber skills. His light saber incorporates Elfish design that allows the user to maneuver it very easily.

Bio: Eragon was the result of two exiled Elves. Because of his parents being exiled from the Elven planet that is unknown to us, Eragon’s parents shortly died after he was born. Being left alone in the vastness of Coruscant’s streets, he barely survived. He always stole and when he was spotted by the police, he used his extreme gift he had. He had the agility of a cat. He could jump meters of high and could run extremely fast.

He was 15 when a man in a robe passed by him and suddenly stopped looking back after him.

Man in robe: Hey you!

Eragon turned his head and looked back at the man.

Man in robe: Yeah you! Follow me!

Eragon followed the stranger in a black alley, where they stopped.

Man in robe: I sensed a strange power in you. Do you have some special power that no one else has?

Eragon: I am very agile. I can jump meters high and can run extremely fast.

Man in robe: Figured. You have been touched by the power of the Force and have designed it you own way. Impressive. Only few can do that. I am Jedi Knight Melon and have been sent by the Jedi Order to search for you. We have received reports of Force activity around here and thought that a future apprentice might be here. Seems that we were right. You shall accompany me to the Jedi Order and receive training and a light saber.

Melon trained Eragon pretty much on the levels of the Force, the light in the Force and darkness in the Force. After that, he teached him to push himself or another, to run even faster than he was and many other things. Eragon learned very fast and was soon parrying with Melon, both of them using sticks. Because of him being an Elf, he was easily dodging Melon’s attacks and was hitting Melon pretty hard. Eragon was an excellent fighter. He fought with grace and was very swift. He was beating Melon easily.

They soon arrived at the Jedi Order. They entered the council room and presented themselves at the Jedi Order. The masters each presented themselves and congratulated Melon for his mission. Eragon was soon chosen to be Kurl Fisto’s apprentice.

Kurl: Come with me, Eragon. You are to choose a light saber.

They entered a room that was full of light sabers on the walls. Kurl explained that Eragon would have to raise the hand, and let it become a magnet of the light saber. The light saber that would fit him, would come to his hand. Eragon raised his hand and let it become one with the Force. A silver light saber came to his hand and fitted perfectly with his hand.

Kurl: That is the last Elven sword and was wielded by a legendary master. It holds great power. Wield it with trust because it will be your best friend.

With that, Eragon’s training began.

I am extremely sorry for DP but i just wanted Blue to know that i wrote Kurl and not Kurs and that is a big mistake that will not repeat.